Young Writers Society

The title... MMM, that's some good stuff. It definitely got me intrigued! The moment I heard about that... I wanted to throw my phone. God, it pisses me off still thinking about it. It is so unbearably frustrating and just, why? The description is wonderful though, with the setting and what you are seeing making it simple yet so good at conveying what you are getting across to the reader.

I presume the last two ones are about the mother, perhaps yours, agreeing with these horrid laws that have been passed. I'm truly sorry. But you've got to have hope, you've got to fight back. Even if it's in small ways, like slowly moving furniture a few centimeters a day so that it's all off course and she continues to bump into it.

I hope the laws don't stay for long. I just can't believe it but at the same time, it's not surprising.

- Cow

I love this piece! The title is particularly amazing; I love the imagery and meaning behind "rainbow blood". You do a good job walking the reader through the events of the poem, guiding them through what happened, and the development of the ideas and themes. I like that you place the reader in the "muggy kitchen". It starts out with a specific detail, in a familiar place (everyone has a kitchen), before launching off into complex ideas and perhaps unfamiliar ideas.
I also love the last stanza. The comparison of the "pitiful whimper" to "a majestic lion's roar" is brilliant. For me personally, it represented how a movement that used to be weak and underrepresented has now become powerful and legitimized. It's a feeling of freedom, and of claiming your greatness. It's also a great way to end the poem.
However, your second stanza didn't seem quite as impactful to me. The idea that the "legal theory had already been ingrained" in your rainbow blood seemed a little weird to me. Personally, I feel like legal theories are very separated from the body. I know you're trying to express the meeting point between the law and what you know is right, but it just felt like a strange way to express that. Is there another comparison you could use?
Overall, though, this was an amazing poem. It's short, but contains so much meaning and so much emotional impact in a few lines.

Hi there Mage! Tuck here to review your poem.

There are some really powerful lines here, largely because it's clear that this poem stems from a very personal place. I think my favorite chunk of lines is "The supreme court / had just decided / that there was no difference / between queer rights / and human rights" because this is a very concise and simple way to describe the importance of this victory for queer rights. It also emphasizes the importance of queer rights because they are human rights -- it makes a statement in a very subtle and factual way.

One nitpicks that stood out to me as a potential improvement is the line "had just decided / that there was no difference". I have a hunch that if you moved the "that" from the second line to the first line it would put more emphasis on the line "there was no difference", which is an important part of the poem more so than the decision. The first line, to me, is a transition from two important themes and should really set up the next few lines to have impact after impact. It's definitely a subtle thing, but I think it could create a better cadence and more appropriate emphasis.

Another nitpick is in the final stanza -- I think if you flipped the tense of "had became a / majestic lion's roar" to present tense (became a / majestic lion's roar") it could show the connection between this burst of self-confidence with the news the MC has just received. I understand that this is a very small point, but I hope it'll still have a decent impact and improve the poem, even subtly.

As a more major point, I feel that saying "the beginnings of a revolution" in the beginning of the poem is an inaccurate portrayal of the journey to acquire queer rights. This Supreme Court decision isn't the beginning of a revolution, in my eyes -- it's the result of decades of protests, battles, and revolts against the heteronormative status quo and aggressive homophobic ideology pushed on queer people. I see this more as a victory in the battle for equality -- certainly not the final victory, but a monumental one -- than the beginnings of a revolution. Of course, if you have a differing perspective that's fine, but I hope that gives you some food for thought in the way you approach this topic.

But beyond that, this poem is very powerful, very personal, and very important. It presents a valuable perspective and shows the importance of this landmark decision in a beautiful and concise way. I really enjoyed reading this and found it an adequate celebration of an important day in the fight for LGBTQ+ rights and equality. I hope some of my points were helpful to you, and if you have any questions please feel free to reach out!

Best,
Tuck