Author's Note: This chapter was definitely a brutal one at first, but I think I finally got more into it by the time that I finished it. Hopefully I'll be able to get my chapters up much sooner in the future! <3 We're going to have another run-in with a character that's been introduced in a previous chapter soon, and, after that, things should finally start getting interesting on my end.
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Last Lines: There was no glowing ball, or beautiful arcs of water. Nothing burst into flames. There was no series of spells. The only indicator that it had worked was that little screen. Her grip on the ball tightened. She stared down at the letters that were beginning to scroll across it in a small, sprawling cursive font.
D A R K N E S S
All that she could do was just look at the ball and the letters, trying - and failing - to understand what the word could possibly mean. She heard Lira take in a deep breath beside her, holding it for a good couple of seconds before quietly letting it out. Aspen, meanwhile, was pressing up against her side as she peered down at the letters on the ball.
"I think your ball's broken," Aspen said. She poked the screen. "It didn't do that fancy magical display thing."
The letters faded away.
"It's not supposed to," Lira whispered.
Cass looked up.
Lira had gone incredibly pale, her hands shaking as she reached grabbed the ball from Cass' lap. Clutching the ball close to her chest, Lira looked Cass over with wide, horrified eyes. Seeing that single expression was all that Cass needed to understand that her magic was something to be feared and not loved. She couldn't begin to understand what it encompassed, and she wasn't sure she wanted to know. If Lira was afraid of her because of it, how could it ever be a good thing?
"What do you mean it's not supposed to?" Aspen said. She leaned to the side so she was looking around Cass' back, staring very intently at the ball - Cass wouldn't have been surprised if Aspen suddenly took it out of Lira's hands. "Its job is to show what magic someone has, so why on Earth wouldn't it do that?"
Lira took another deep breath. "Cass has dark magic."
"Yeah. And I have light magic, and you have water magic." Aspen folded her arms and straightened. "I don't see the big deal. It's another one of those elemental things, right?"
"It is, but that's the type of magic King Karti-"
"Hey, Cassie," Aspen abruptly interrupted, putting her arm around her best friend and giving her a tight squeeze, "it looks like you're the ying to my yang! Or is it the other way around? I can never remember it."
Cass shifted uncomfortably, her gaze going from Aspen to Lira. She knew what Aspen was trying to do, but also knew that Lira had more knowledge about how this world worked. If Lira implied that darkness magic was a horrible thing, then it was. Aspen acting like it wasn't was only going to make it harder for her to face the truth.
And Aspen was already scared of her because of the feelings.
Cass grabbed onto her locket and ran her thumb over its cool surface. She looked away from Lira - looked away from the growing disappointment on her face, looked away from the growing fear - and started staring down at her locket instead. Tears began to prick at the corner of her eyes as she realized that even her locket was something that she couldn't love. It really was a minor thing, but her already distressed emotions couldn't handle the thought of yet another thing being a reason for people to fear her. There was the strange feelings; Aspen was afraid of those. There was her magic; Lira was afraid of that. And then there was her locket; anyone from Rey would fear it because it made it seem like she was somehow connected to King Kartiel.
"This isn't something to joke about," Lira quietly said.
Cass just kept staring at her locket, trying her best to bite back her tears.
She felt Aspen shift beside her. Though she certainly had something she wanted to say, if her restlessness was anything to go off of, she wasn't going to say it now.
Out of the corner of her eye, Cass saw Lira gently return the orb to its chest and use her magic to return it to its spot underneath the bed. For once, she didn't feel an excited jolt when she saw magic being used - it reminded her too much of her own cursed magic.
"What were you saying earlier?" Aspen finally asked. Her voice was just as quiet as Lira's had been, and just as solemn. "You mentioned something about that King Kartiel again."
Lira took a deep breath. Cass couldn't see her locket clearly now; her vision was too blurred by the tears finally beginning to spill over. "The royalty of Telorum has always had that type of magic," Lira whispered. Her voice shook as she spoke. "And Rodet's said that intel gathered implies that the Dark Mage has it, too."
"The Dark Mage?" Aspen repeated. A second after the question was spoken, Cass felt Aspen's arms wrapping around her. Tears rolled down her face in thick, thick streams, falling onto her shorts and Aspen's bare arms.
Lira got off of the bed. She silently walked over to the fountain and sat on its stone rim once more, fingers trailing through the water like they had in the past. The same designs appeared across its surface, and the air felt thick with warmth - though this warmth suddenly felt very intrusive, rather than comforting like it had when Lira had initially used her magic.
"The Dark Mage," Lira said, "is Kartiel's closest ally."
A sob caught itself in Cass' throat, and Aspen's grip on her tightened.
Lira's gaze dropped down to the waters. The designs multipled and grew more intricate, curling and twisting in quick succession. "He hasn't been around for long. Maybe a year, at most. But he's almost always by Kartiel's side, and we've-we've heard that he's a worshipper of the fallen." She took another deep breath. "It's always been theorized that dark magic corrupts the souls of its users, but no one...no one's ever confirmed it."
At this last comment, the sob finally lodged itself free. Cass leaned into Aspen, her best friend holding her as tight as she possibly could. She buried her face in Aspen's chest as her own heaved with heavy sobs. She was so tired of being someone to fear for reasons that were entirely out of control. She just wanted to be back in the comfort of her house, or the safety of the jeep, or the safety of Aspen's house - she wanted to be anywhere but here.
The warmth intensified. The room became stifflingly hot, and Cass could hear what sounded like miniature waves crashing into the sides of the fountain. And the waves suddenly fell back into silence, and the room cooled as it returned to its original temperature. She just barely heard Lira getting up over the sound of her sobs. "I'm going to try finding some clothes that might fit you two," Lira said, "clothes that match what people tend to wear in Rey."
Then she was gone from the room, her footsteps echoing out in the hallway. Cass knew that the need for the clothes wasn't that desperate - Lira just wanted an escape from the awkwardness of seeing a stranger cry.
And Cass, who didn't want a stranger to see her cry, was perfectly fine with being left with Aspen.
End of chapter
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Hiya, Sae. Finally I get to review this while it's still in the Green Room! ^.^
Small Comments
Would Aspen react this way? She's just learnt that she has light magic, so 'darkness' would surely mean something to her. And the screen did change, so the ball clearly isn't broken. She could still ask why it didn't do a fancy display, but I'm surprised her first question wasn't to ask what 'darkness' meant.
Does Aspen not read/watch fantasy stuff? Even if they don't know the ins and outs of how magic works, 'dark magic' is often synonymous with 'evil magic' in our world, so I find it odd that Aspen doesn't catch Lira's drift here.
Is she scared of her? I always got the impression she was scared for her. Not the same thing.
Sorry, this kind of made me giggle. The Dark Mage has darkness magic? Who'd have guessed?
Overall Thoughts
Considering that you were worried about this chapter, it's probably one of my favourites so far. Finally, we have some drama! I thoroughly enjoyed seeing the shift in Lira's attitude, and a big part of me hopes it doesn't diffuse quickly. I'm still going with the theory that darkness magic isn't really evil at all - Lira is probably just spouting anti-Telorum propaganda, albeit unknowingly - but it's really good to see the 'guide' character turning on the MC due to their own prejudices. I can't wait to see how Lira is going to deal with this. Will she turn Cass out of the house? Or will she be more compassionate and let her stay, but make her hide her magic so that nobody else discovers it? There's a lot of interesting possibilities and I hope you utilise them.
Cass's reaction felt a little...I don't know, over-the-top? Maybe that's not the right word. It just felt to me like there wasn't enough confusion mixed in with the horror. She doesn't know what darkness magic is or what it does, the whole notion of magic feels barely real to her, but she was weeping at Lira's words as though she understood all the societal implications of her abilities. It's not that she shouldn't cry, but I feel like there needs to be a slight shift in what she's crying at. At the moment, she's mostly crying because she has darkness magic, and it's a comprehensive kind of sadness. But I think it would be more natural if she was crying out of confusion and Lira's sudden coldness. If Lira backed away from her and looked at her as if she was diseased, and if Cass couldn't really understand why that was, then she'd have a more concrete cause to get upset. I'm probably explaining this badly. In short, I just don't think Cass was nonplussed enough.
Aspen's reaction I'm kind of halfway on. Having finished the chapter, I see that she was trying to diffuse the situation by being flippant, but sometimes it just came across as deliberate ignorance. Considering Aspen's behaviour in the past, I'm surprised that she isn't more defensive of Cass in the second section of the chapter. Why does she just take these claims about Kartiel and the Dark Mage at face value? Why doesn't she question Lira about why they're so bad? Cass seems the type who might take somebody's word for everything, but I've never thought Aspen was. I'd expect it to grate on her that they keep mentioning this terrible King Kartiel without ever actually specifying why he and his magic are so terrible. Especially considering that they're using those prejudices to cast aspersions on Cass.
Those are my big critiques for the chapter, but everything else I really enjoyed. It's fantastic to see conflict between the characters, and even better to see it among characters who are all likeable. I was worried that Lira was going to be too kind and benevolent as a guide, so it's great to see that she's shaped by her prejudices and isn't perfect. Please continue to run with that. I feel like it's going to be very important to the story that Cass and Aspen are outsiders. Perhaps they're going to be the only characters with a clear, unbiased perspective in a world wrapped up in old feuds.
Hope this helped. Keep writing!
~Pan
Hello again!! First

I first want to mention that I really appreciate your author notes at the beginning and that you include the final lines of the section before. Especially when we have broken up chapters like this, it really helps to remember where we were last week to keep that natural flow going.
I quite liked this scene and I thought it showed some good characterization of each of the girls as they processed this event.
Lira - I'm starting to like her more. It still strikes me as a bit odd that she glomed onto them so quickly and she's shared so much with them and has trusted them so much in such a short period of time. But if she's a naturally compassionate, caring person then I guess it would make sense that she take pity on these poor wayward girls and want to help keep them from harm. I liked the way she described the darkness magic and that it was kept relatively concise. I thought it was good that you clearly showed the impact and the stakes of this type of magic based on what it's associated with. The one note I would have for that segment is that right now it's broken up and there are some unrelated introspections in the middle. I would put the whole explanation of the magic (with the girl's reactions) together.
Aspen - I actually liked her reaction in this a lot and she was probably my favorite of the scene. I love that she tried to diffuse the situation even though she had to realize that dark magic can't be a good thing. She's a good friend for trying to show support in that way.
Cass - I hope she develops more of a backbone as the story goes on because I don't want her to cry for the whole book (although I totally get why she's emotional right now - she's super overwhelmed and terrified). I did like that she stayed mostly quiet and processed as she gathered more information because that was very true to character for her, although I do hope she develops more as the story continues. I think my favorite Cass moment though was at the end when she was thinking about how she just wants to get out of here and go home and not worry about this dark magic business. Love. Love that she's bringing home into this and that she's just done with this world at this point. They were acclimating a little too easily and taking everything a little too well. I would want to go home at this point if I were her too.
Looking forward to reading more as always! Let me know if you have any questions or if you'd like feedback about something I didn't mention!