The Three Lockets [Chapter 12.3]

by Mageheart

Published December 29, 2018

In [LMS IV] Kartiel's Curse

Words: 1,745

Last Line(s): She hesitantly grabbed onto his outstretched hand. She knew she wasn't supposed to trust the Dark Mage, but it was hard not to when he sounded so kind. He hadn't done anything to harm her yet. Maybe that was part of whatever grand scheme King Kartiel and he had. Get the girl with the golden locket to trust them, and then they would...She couldn't figure out what exactly would come next, but she knew it couldn't possibly be good.

He took an audible deep breath.

“You've heard of me, haven't you?”

She gave a small, nervous nod.

“I should have expected that,” he said. He leaned down and picked up another one of the flowers, slipping the blossom into his basket as another one came to life at his fingertips. “You don't know my name, do you?”

“...I know you're the Dark Mage.”

He straightened, rearranging the flowers in his basket. 

“My name is Orpheus. Orpheus...” He faltered; his gaze momentarily dropped down to the flowers at their feet. All she could do was stare at him. The Dark Mage gave her feelings that were distinctively hers, but thinking of him as Orpheus made Aldonius's memories overwhelm her. Aldonius and Orpheus were close. She furrowed her brow. Aldonius was exasperated and frustrated with him. Past those feelings, however, was a desire to protect him, and a strong feeling of love.

Why would Aldonius feel that way about the Dark Mage?

“My last name doesn't matter anymore,” Orpheus finally decided. He looked back up at her, though his eyes were still hidden underneath his hood.

Cass had so many questions she wanted to ask, but Orphe-the Dark Mage wasn't the one who she needed to direct them to. She needed to talk to Aldonius. But Aldonius was miles away in Telorum, and she wouldn't be there for at least several more days-

“I can take you to Aldonius."

Her heart skipped a beat.

“You-You can?” she asked, her voice a bit too hopeful. She had to keep reminding herself that the Dark Mage couldn't be trusted. There had to be some ulterior motive to what he was offering; he wouldn't be helping her out of the kindness of his heart.

He nodded. “I came here using a location transportation charm. It's not meant to end up near him, but I should be able to modify the final location by making some slight adjustments to the activation phrase and diverting the flow of the magic down a floor...” 

He continued to mumble under his breath. Cass didn't understand most of what he was saying, but she did understand that she was closer to seeing Aldonius than she had been for the past two weeks. 

She took a deep breath. She had to think this through carefully. If she made the wrong choice now, she could be dealing with the ramifications of it for days to come. If she accepted the offer, he could somehow trick her or hold her in his debt. If she failed to accept it, he might try hurting her. Even if he didn't she would lose an opportunity to easily find Aldonius. 

But he already knew who she was, and he already knew of her connection to Aldonius. What was the point of trying to sneak around when she was certain she'd be caught the moment she tried? 

“Please take me to Aldonius,” she said.

His mumbling came to an abrupt stop. After studying her for a moment, he gave a nod and turned his attention to the outline of her tent in the distance. “I'm guessing that's your camp over there?” he asked. When she gave a small nod, he gestured at it with his friend hand. “If you want, we can go right after you put your things away. Aldonius...Aldonius doesn't usually sleep well. He should still be up.”

xXx

The ashes to her fire were quickly put out, and she put her tent and sleeping bag faster than she ever had before. As she was slipping on her backpack's straps, she found that the Dark Mage had moved from the flower fields to a spot beside one of the larger trees near her campsite. 

He said nothing as she walked over; he was too busy looking over a small object in his hand. It was a small, circular disk barely larger than bottle cap. A simple design was carved into its wooden surface—it looked like a childish drawing of a house, with a triangle on top of a square. She scooted a little closer to get a better look at it, but her movement alerted him to the fact that she had finished.

He raised his head.

For a moment, she thought she saw a glimpse of something dark, and of a flash of violet. She wanted to see more of what lurked underneath to satisfy her morbid fascination, but he quickly pulled his hood farther down when he noticed her staring. 

“You need to hold onto my hand,” he said. “I'll say the activation phrase, and then we should appear in front of the room he's in. Does that sound good to you?"

She took a deep breath.

“Yes,” she said. 

He held his hand out. After staring at it for a moment—this was her last chance to change her mind—she decided to hold firm to her earlier decision. 

She grabbed onto his hand.

A familiar warmth began to fill the air as he spoke words too quietly for her to make out. It spread across her bare skin, enveloping every inch of her body. Small purple particles began to appear at her feet. She stared at them with horror as they began to climb up both her body and the Dark Mage's. She wanted to pull away, but his grip was too strong. 

“It's okay,” he reassured her. The particles had completely covered both of them now. She couldn't even see him anymore; the only sign that he was still beside her was the feeling of his gloved hand pressing up against her shaking hand. “It'll be over soon.”

His words rang true. 

The particles fell away to reveal a stone hallway. It took a moment for the sight to fully register. She had believed that the spell would transport them, but hadn't grasped just how jarring the transition from the forest to wherever they were now would be. She looked around. The hallway was long and tall. Cass had the feeling they were standing in the middle of a gigantic building. Long tapestries covered both walls, and floating lanterns illuminated the empty hall. 

She turned her attention to the doors in front of them.

The two wooden doors were absolutely enormous. They were easily double her height—and possibly even taller. She gulped. She had never felt so small as she did now, and the sight of the suit of golden armor on either side of the doors made her feel even more intimidated. When she glanced back in the direction of the Dark Mage, she found that he was staring at the room's entrance. A hand was slowly raised and pressed against the massive doors, but he refrained from pushing them open-

Wait.

She spun around, taking in the hallway for a second time. A knot began to form in her stomach. This wasn't just some random house. The walls were made of stone. The building was incredibly large. Its halls were decorated with beautiful tapestries and priceless suits of golden armor.

This was Telorum's castle.

She had been tricked.

She went to dart down the hallway in an attempt to escape. But the Dark Mage was still holding onto her wrist, and she could only go a handful of inches.

“He's in here,” he said, his promise hollow. He began to push against the doors. They slowly opened with a loud creak. 

Cass continued to struggle. Now darkness was shooting up around her feet in panicked spurts. For once, she welcomed it. Everyone had feared her darkness. Even if he was corrupted by his own darkness magic, it had to be enough to startle him. If she could shock him just enough for him to loosen his grip, or let go of her hand all together, she could make a break for the nearest exit!

His grip only grew tighter.

Light spilled out into the hallway as the doors finished opening. Her struggling ceased, and the Dark Mage finally let go of her.

She was standing in the doorway to the throne room.

The only room she had ever been in that could possibly compare to its size was the auditorium at her high school, but that was nothing like what she saw before her. A dark violet carpet cut across the room, embroidered with golden thread. Suits of armor lined both sides of the carpet; all were holding pristine swords. A beautiful chandelier floated above it all, casting the room in a warm, spinning light.

She didn't need Aldonius's memories to love it.

“It's beautiful,” she whispered.

“That's what I said, too,” the Dark Mage quietly replied. 

He took a deep breath and began to walk down the carpeted path. After a moment of hesitation, Cass followed. She was too enchanted by the beauty of the room to question why her feet were carrying her closer and closer to the throne. The suits of armor became a golden blur, and she began to realize that the room did have an occupant.

The king was sitting on his throne.

His head was facing down as he read a book in his lap, lazily flipping from one page to the next. Cass wasn't sure what she had expected an evil king to look like, but he did seem to fit the part. His clothes were mainly shades of black and purple, accented with golden embroidery. He fiddled with a golden locket—identical to her own—that hung above his chest. The crown that was nestled atop his head was silver with violet gems. Even his hair added to the image; it was long and black, and streaked with white.

The Dark Mage cleared his throat.

“Cassandra Hughes is here,” he said.

The king raised his head.

Cass stumbled back and let out a gasp as she saw a familiar face flamed by black and white locks. For the first time, she didn't question why a scar ran up the side of his cheek—all she could do was stare in horror as he looked her over with violet eyes. 

This was all wrong-No, she had to be dreaming. That was it. She raised a hand up and slowly pinched her bare arm. But no matter how many times she pinched herself, and no matter how hard, she wasn't waking up. Tears began to blur her vision. 

She didn't want to face the truth, but she knew that she had to.

Aldonius was King Kartiel IX.

End of Part I

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
Lib
Comment
Lib commented Comment · Jan 20, 2020

Asdfghjkl wait what the heck?????? Did not see that coming and now I'm dying to read more!!! ♡

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Que
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Que commented Comment · Jan 9, 2019

AHHH Mage woah! I did not see that coming. :D <33

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Panikos
Review
Panikos wrote a review Review · Jan 9, 2019

Hi, Mage! I decided to review as I read which means I just saw the last line without reading the entire chapter and I am FUMING with myself because!!! What a last line!! Oh my god?? How did I not guess this??

I'm going to have to contain myself and just go through the nitpicks. I can already tell I'm going to love this chapter.

Small Comments

He took an audible deep breath.


Given that it's being mentioned at all, it seems pretty obvious that it's audible.

“You-You can?” she asked, her voice a bit too hopeful. She had to keep reminding herself that the Dark Mage couldn't be trusted. There had to be some ulterior motive to what he was offering; he wouldn't be helping her out of the kindness of his heart.


It's moments like this that make me wish we'd seen some first-hand evidence of why not to trust him. I'm just not convinced by her fear. This is probably my biggest concern for part I: that I only have a very shadowy, word-of-mouth idea as to what makes the apparent antagonists detestable.

She took a deep breath. She had to think this through carefully. If she made the wrong choice now, she could be dealing with the ramifications of it for days to come. If she accepted the offer, he could somehow trick her or hold her in his debt. If she failed to accept it, he might try hurting her. Even if he didn't she would lose an opportunity to easily find Aldonius.


It kind of bothers me, again, that Cass still isn't the proactive one. I thought that leaving for Telorum would give you the chance to explore her independence and show her making meaningful decisions, but...once again she's being ferried along by others' actions. She's not made a proper attempt to find Aldonius; she's just luckily walked into the one guy who can take her to him. To get what she wants, all she has to do is say yes.

For a moment, she thought she saw a glimpse of something dark, and of a flash of violet.


So he's a fallen, I'm guessing? Is that why he has to cover up? I'm guessing he's the one that Cass dreamed about earlier in the chapter.

The only room she had ever been in that could possibly compare to its size was the auditorium at her high school, but that was nothing like what she saw before her. A dark violet carpet cut across the room, embroidered with golden thread. Suits of armor lined both sides of the carpet; all were holding pristine swords. A beautiful chandelier floated above it all, casting the room in a warm, spinning light.

She didn't need Aldonius's memories to love it.

“It's beautiful,” she whispered.


This is a really jarring shift? Given how terrified she is in this moment, thinking she's been delivered into enemy hands in a foreign kingdom, I just can't imagine her seeing this place as beautiful or stopping to admire the details. Terror gives you tunnel vision.

Aldonius was King Kartiel IX.


And this is the moment that I completely lost my mind.

Overall Thoughts

I cannot! Believe! I did not guess that twist! It feels obvious in hindsight, but in completely the right way - it's not like when Cass twigged 'Aldonius' was her contracted; that felt obvious in a kind of there-was-no-other-option way, so it was a bit of an anticlimax. This, however, fits completely, but I still didn't remotely see it coming. What an incredible way to end part one!

Kudos for pulling that off. Seriously.

That's not to say I don't have my reservations about this chapter, though mostly its the return of the same issues. Cass, as I mentioned, is being passive again. Outside of accepting Orpheus's offer, she hasn't made any proper decisions - and I feel like it was never much of a choice, anyway, because he would've probably forced her to come with him if he'd had to. I just feel like the final reveal would pack way more punch if we felt like Cass had worked harder for it, only to be completely horrified when she finds out the truth.

And I hate to sound like a broken record, but this only makes me more keen for you to offer proper, concrete evidence for Kartiel's supposed villainy. At the moment, this twist is exciting and unexpected, but imagine what a gut punch it would be if the audience feared Kartiel as much as Cass does. All the implications of it - her sympathy for him, sharing his memories, learning to understand him, to trust him - would shake us to the core.

There's so much good and potential in this part, but my heart says that it's going to need to be reworked quite a lot. I'm not entirely sure why Cass needed to spend so long at the palace with Lira. She obviously learns a lot about the world through her, but it's second-hand info, stuff that would be more interesting if she'd discovered it directly. Hate to say it, but I actually think most of the issues in part I stem from Lira in some way - or at least Lira as she currently exists in the narrative. She just makes everything too safe and easy for the protags. Which removes a lot of tension and ensures that Cass doesn't have to be proactive. Plus she provides them with a home base, which means they don't have to see the world for themselves. It's all linked together, but it's up to you how you'd choose to re-approach her role in the story, if indeed you decide to. I still absolutely think there's a place for her in the story, but it'd have to be in a different capacity.

But I'll stop banging on about stuff I've already told you. Learning that Aldonius is actually Kartiel is my favourite moment of the story so far - it genuinely knocked me for six, which means you have an awesome twist on your hands. I can't wait to see how Cass's reaction plays out.

Keep writing! :D
~Pan

I've been waiting to see your reaction to this chapter! <3 It was so hard reading your reviews and not being able to say comments on things like how soon I revealed Aldonius was her contracted - I wanted to say I was trying to do it sooner for a plot twist, but that would have ruined the fun. :P I'm glad I managed to pull this plot twist off!

I definitely agree that I need to cut the time with Lira short, and add more credible reasoning for why Kartiel is considered such a terrifying threat. I admit I couldn't come up with any good reasons when planning lms and getting to this part, but I know it'll come to me when I'm least expecting it. :P

But I'll stop banging on about stuff I've already told you. Learning that Aldonius is actually Kartiel is my favourite moment of the story so far - it genuinely knocked me for six, which means you have an awesome twist on your hands. I can't wait to see how Cass's reaction plays out.


I'll admit that I don't think I was able to give her another of a reaction in the next part - mainly because there's another thing that had to happen during that chapter - but I'm going to be getting into the meat of the reaction this week [s]and honestly I can't wait either because planning? I don't know her[s/] and I hope it'll live up to your expectations!

(Also, you're in for a lot of fun twists in the distant future of this story, so you shouldn't be getting bored any time soon. :P)

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FireSpyGirl
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FireSpyGirl wrote a review Review · Dec 30, 2018

I am going to be waiting eagerly for Part 2!! I have to say that I NEVER saw this coming! I love being surprised like that when I read books, and It's always fun when it happens! You did an amazing job here, and as before, I see nothing to critique! You are an amazing writer and I am so happy to have been able to have read this! And such a cliffhanger! *screams*

I really get into my books, in case you hadn't noticed. XD



A classic is a book which people praise and don't read.
— Mark Twain