I’m stuck in the world where dreams never come true, and wishes are just fairytales. And I wonder just what my love is doing back in my world. For years I’ve been searching for a way back, but have made no progress. I read every story book in this house I’ve been living in since I showed up in this world. I have been told that the library has books, however I haven’t visited yet, scared to what I might find. Or what I might not find, that is. I look in the mirror seeing me or what I used to look like, for mirrors are the only way to see my realm. I can only see me, no one else and nothing else. I sigh as I tighten my tie, for work.
Author's note: yes this is short, its going to be a longer story this is just some of it. would love the imput.
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hey and welcome to youngwriterssociety.com
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nice short story hope to reed more from you
sorry about such a short review don't know much about reviewing in general and i am just starting myself writing stories
Puls: english is not my first languages so sorry about that
no big deal everything you can give is great thanks so much
Heya!! Here to review.
This is an interesting piece from your story you have here. Just a recommendation, though: next time you can just make this a wall post or something of the sort, and ask for some feedback there. That way you're not using points (well earned points!) to just publish a small piece of your writing.
A nitpick, before I move on: you forgot the 'i' in fairy tales in your title. Also, fairy tales is two words, not one.
Now! Based on this, I'm not entirely sure how to give feedback on your upcoming story. To me, this short piece feels a bit pointless. I don't really get a huge feel for your character, and same goes for setting, time period, and, well, the plot of the story.
I feel like this could use a bit more clearing up so people are more excited about what's to come. Who's your character? Are these two worlds actually two worlds, or is it a metaphor? Of course, you don't want to give away the whole plot and events that happen, but give us a little MORE. I just, honestly, don't have a good feel for this.
Your writing style, however, is nice and clear, but somehow makes me feel confused (in a good way) at the same time. This is great, it makes your writing more "mature", you could say, and makes it feel polished up.
This was great so far, can't wait to see what comes out of this and what's to come! Keep writing, I hope this helps~
~ EternalRain
yes actualy this is going to be a bigger story i havent fully developed everything so i am going to continue. thanks so much for the help
You're welcome! Can't wait to read more!