Your name is pressed on my collar

This poem is a total downer, but in a really good way. It's raw, honest, and hits you right in the gut. The dog imagery is super strong – it really captures that feeling of hopeless devotion. You can totally feel the speaker's pain and heartbreak.

The poem's a bit repetitive, though. Maybe try mixing up the phrasing or the rhythm a bit to keep things interesting. Also, it would be cool to know why the person left. Was it a fight? A misunderstanding? A betrayal? That could add a whole new layer of depth to the story.

Overall, it's a powerful piece. It's got that raw emotion that makes you feel it in your bones. Keep writing, and don't be afraid to dig deeper into the darkness.

Hello, there! Avi speaking
Wow.
First off, I'd like to take a moment to talk about the beginning line. "The day you walked out that door never ended." This could be interpreted in two different ways. One, "the day you walked out, that door never ended", which might seem like a crappy line especially when compared to the other interpretation of this but hold up. Look at "that door never ended". The action of love walking out the door warped time and created the idea that love was always walking out that door. It never left, but was in the process of leaving. Which sounds beautiful. Or maybe I've just thought on this too long and too hard that my brain is warped, not the idea. Oh well, next way! Two, "the day you walked out that door never ended", as in the day itself never ended, which I think is what you meant by this and I was just overthinking for the whole first part. If the day never ended, you were always waiting, which is what you're conveying with the imagery of the loyal dog waiting by the door.
With every repetition of "like a dog", I understood the poem more and more. I could go into a line-by-line review of this poem, but I'm just gonna stick with shouting in all caps that THIS POEM IS BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!
I know poetry is an outlet and doesn't always showcase our true beliefs in favor of the vision of the narrative, but I still feel the need to tell you this:
Love doesn't make you weak or strong or anything of the sort, as that depends on the kind of love you're in. Love, in all its general, wide umbrella-ness, makes you loyal. You've shown the loyalty aspect very, very well in this poem.
I adore this poem and look forward to reading more of your work!

This poem beautifully and heartbreakingly captures the depth of unconditional love and loyalty, using the metaphor of a dog’s devotion to its owner as a powerful analogy for the speaker's attachment to someone who has left. The repetition of "Like a dog" reinforces the idea of unwavering loyalty, even in the face of abandonment, making the poem's emotions feel raw and palpable.

The opening line, "The day you walked out that door never ended," immediately sets the tone for the speaker's endless wait and emotional stagnation. The imagery of the speaker lying on the threshold, waiting for the return of a loved one, paints a vivid picture of both physical and emotional paralysis. The comparison to a dog’s loyalty is heartbreaking, as it underscores the speaker's inability to move on or understand why they were left behind.

As the poem progresses, the imagery becomes darker and more visceral, with "rotten flesh morphed into the floorboards" and "flies feeding off my hope." These lines powerfully convey the passage of time and the deterioration of the speaker’s emotional state. The physical decay mirrors the emotional devastation, illustrating the toll of waiting for someone who will never return.

The poem reaches a climax with the speaker's acceptance of death, yet even in that moment, they cannot let go of their love and hope. "Even when death reached to stroke the fur" is a haunting line, blending tenderness with inevitability. Despite the decay and despair, the speaker's heart remains "untouched," still aching for the love they once had, highlighting the depth of their emotional attachment.

The ending reinforces the central theme of undying loyalty and love, with the speaker refusing to accept the finality of the separation, even in death. The phrase "Like a dog I never accepted that you were really gone" serves as a powerful conclusion, capturing the tragic beauty of unconditional love that persists beyond all reason and reality.

Overall, this poem is a moving and emotionally resonant exploration of love, loss, and loyalty. The use of vivid, sometimes grotesque imagery effectively conveys the speaker's emotional and physical decline, while the recurring dog metaphor deepens the sense of longing and devotion. It’s a haunting reflection on the pain of waiting for someone who will never return, and the difficulty of accepting the finality of loss.

☆_JUNIE_☆

Ooof! This is quite dark! Definitely evoked a reaction upon reading it. Because of the decaying flesh bit - you might consider bumping it up to 16+ rating just to be safe. Here to review your poem!

Overall the message seemed to be to me that the speaker is really broken up about a break up of some relationship (perhaps romantic, perhaps familial) and they compare themselves to a dog waiting and to someone dying. - Always waiting for their return, until they ultimately wait so long they die / lose themselves.

There's a few places I had a couple minor suggestions:

The day you walked out that door never ended
Like a dog I stayed put on the threshold,
waiting for you to come back home
Waiting for you to greed me with a smile as you walk through that door

Like a dog I stayed loyal,
and patiently stayed put
Carefully laid down,
face pressed against the shirt you had left
hiding from the truth

As years pass by
I’m still lying on this spot
My rotten flesh morphed into the floorboards
The flies feeding off my hope
My heart still longing for you

Like a dog I gave my everything to you
Like a dog I could never understand why you would leave
In my mind I was still yours
In my mind you were a hero
In my mind you would return

Even when death reached to stroke the fur,
running its bony hands through the matted coat
I still believed you would return
But as the flies had finished the hope
And the maggots revealed my bones
I was ready to let death lead me,
into the gates of unknown

But even then my heart stayed untouched
Aching for your love

Like a dog I will wait
An eternity
A lifetime
And even though you had left
Not even death could make me realize
we would ever be apart
And in a heartbeat,
I would cave,
collapsing into your arms

Like a dog I never accepted that you were really gone

I'm just going to be honest and say I'm tired as hell so my review might be a little mucky
I like how you depicted this. You weren't afraid to show body deformation, which I like. While I certainly appreciate this, others may not. so maybe put a warning next time? after all, no one likes to hear about maggots when they were expecting a love poem. Like I said, I appreciate it, but others may not.
I also hate dogs. like, really hate dogs. with that being said, you completely turned my attitude around, at least for this poem. You depicted the dog to be someone who would not rest until that person came back, and I also like that metaphor. I honestly could not find anything to complain about.
I also like "they day you walked out never ended" It hit. hard. mostly because I can relate. and I, too, waited there like a dog. But maybe I was a bad one, because instead of waiting for death, I got up, said "screw this" and hopped around until I found someone else. its a pitiful ending, really, the dog ending up dying just because it was loyal. loyalty will do that to you, I suppose. overall the way you write, to me anyways, is soft with a steady beat. it paints a picture that's not spooky, but it does not use vivid colors masked with sugar. you keep it real but its like softening the blend of grays and blacks with a brush. I think the poem was beautiful. it genuinely made me feel for the dog (in which, again, I HATE DOGS SO YEAH. YOU'RE TALENTED.) and sad that it couldn't accept that it wasn't wanted. such a shame. whoever walked out was an idiot, because I feel like no one could have been more loyal than the dog. its like "I'm here. I'm ugly and I'm useless, but I'll always be here" and to me, that's the best friend you can ask for. it doesn't matter if they can give you money, or if they're pretty. it matters that they are there by you when no one else is. its too bad the idiot couldn't see what was right in front of him. someone accepted every part of him but sadly, it wasn't enough. I'm afraid the dog just chose the wrong person. then again, I might be talking to me more than anything. it's scary how much I can relate to this. my best advice, though sadly something not even I want to hear, is to try to move on in another chapter. another life. and this time, thrive on it. You didn't make any mistake waiting for him. or maybe that was the mistake in itself.
I'm sorry if this wasn't much of a review! my reviews are weird.... have a nice day!

Hai :3

This is so intense and gut-wrenching!! The metaphor of being like a dog throughout the poem is so powerful, and it really emphasizes that unbreakable loyalty, even when it’s so tragically undeserved. The image of lying on the threshold, waiting with that heart-wrenching hope hurts ~~ Like, it’s so vivid I can practically feel the weight of each passing moment as the narrator holds on, refusing to let go. It's satisfying, yet very devastating still!! I saw everything coming, but I still dreaded it.

The shift from loyalty to decay was so cool!! I was not expecting that, but it works so well!! Especially combined with the house imagery, it’s like the narrator is becoming part of the house itself, becoming part of the memory in a literal way. That's just perfect!! There’s a desperation and denial here that is so human, but it's also so brutal in its rawness. That's poetry!! It's like even after the decay has set in, the heart is still clinging to this impossible love. That's some food for thought I think!!

Even when death reached to stroke the fur,
running its bony hands through the matted coat

I still believed you would return
But as the flies had finished the hope
And the maggots revealed my bones

Like a dog I never accepted that you were really gone