Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence and mature content.
Remember that night?
the night you came into my life?
oh, how lost was I
But you turned on the lights
in the darkest moments you were my guide.
little did I know it was your hands covering my eyes
Remember that night?
when you told me about the stars in the sky?
wonder there's a star that still reflects our love
like an old cinema somewhere stuck in time
To be sitting in that audience
see us lying on the grass
painting the greatest love story of the time
in the moment that ceased to exist
Oh, how I adored you,
I even burned my hand so your scar would match mine
now I carry it with everything but pride,
sealing the present into the night we died
No liability
we were only young and in love.
or at least I was
Remember that night?
when you made the promise you'd always be mine?
the ring you wanted to give me,
was not mine to wear
so I settled for a necklace.
and so we crossed the fine line
between love and patience
Our actions were nothing but reckless
Remember that night?
The tree we planted
as a symbol of our love
How it sprouted through the hard soil
It was the most beautiful thing to witness
seeing our love grow ever so strong
standing sturdy as the seasons changed
plaiting its roots deep into the ground
I remember that night
the night our love died
the night the tree became my gallows
and the necklace turned into a noose
I finally opened my eyes to the abuse
I finally saw the truth.
deep down we were both just so alone
and you used me to escape that barren land
stripped our love down to skin and bone
left me standing with the rope in my hand
and never looked back
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,804 Reviews
hello there! Green Room Knight Messy here
i really like this concept as a way of describing gaslighting and invisibly creating dependability on someone.
is there an "I" or an "if" missing before or after 'wonder'? This phrase didn't quite make sense to me otherwise
shadow and bone much? lol
i love the callback of those two pieces of imagery which were already very well used the first time. It hits really hard now.
Overall, I think this is a really powerful conveyance of what it's like being in a relationship where one half is in it for the romance, and the other is just using it as a crutch, a source of getting out what they need without putting anything of themselves into it. And it's really hard to break out of it, even when you realize what's happening.
I even like that in the last lines, it's like the person leaving is STILL making you do all the work, taking none of the responsibility or blame.
Hope this helps and thanks for sharing,
Messy
Woah, this is really good! I can't wait for more of your magnificent poetry!!
Here is how I saw the poem from my perspective:
This breakup poem really hit home for me. It captures all the feelings I’ve been trying to process after my breakup—how something that once felt so beautiful and hopeful can fall apart and leave you questioning everything. The repeated “Remember that night?” makes it feel like looking back on a time when everything seemed perfect, but you eventually realize the truth of what was really happening.
The imagery of the tree, which represents the growth of their love, and the necklace turning into a noose, is powerful and symbolic. It effectively conveys how something once beautiful can transform into a burden. The final stanza is particularly impactful, showing the painful moment of awakening to the toxic nature of the relationship.
By the end, I could really feel the speaker’s sense of clarity and heartbreak, like finally seeing the truth after so much denial. It made me reflect on how hard it is to let go, but how necessary it is for healing. The poem beautifully captures the complex emotions of a breakup—love, loss, and ultimately, coming to terms with the truth.