This medusa-crowned plant is unfairly named
for there are many with tongues
just as twisted,
just as plausibly envious of youth
like the child licking a lollipop
stolen from an infant sibling.
There are tongues just as pointed,
just as spitefully sharp,
inside a politician under pressure
showboating on the stump.
What would they have called it
in a language of no preconceived notions
and no fear of woman?
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Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,804 Reviews
Loving the fact that feminist poetry is having a moment right now!
I love this poem. the tittle is inviting.
you chose the right tittle for this awesome write up. I must tell you friend that you did an exquisite job here.
but there are some things I noticed that I will like to comment on if you don't mind.
first if all, your work is short which is not a problem at all but there is no trace if rhyming to make it blend.
I think you should try to adopt rhymes if not maybe at the first four lines of your work.
secondly, the imagery is not clear enough. you should have explained or describe what you were trying to plant in the readers mind in stanzas.
sweet work though keep writing
Thanks for your comments! I'll keep the thing about rhyming and imagery in mind.
Hey there, Liminality! I'll be reviewing your poetry today. ^^
Okay, so, I kinda like the imagery you were going for here, but the execution was a little lacking. But the overall concept behind it? That's actually pretty interesting, and I love it. So, I'll see what I can point out as I go over it again. ^^
First off, you could change "this" to "the" and it still reads pretty much the same. That's probaly just a personal preference of mine, so feel free to ignore me for that! As for the next couple of lines. I feel like using "just" twice in a row here is a little awkward? I'd try rewording that part. It messes with the flow and it's bothering me. XD
Personally, here, I'd put a comma after "youth", but that's just me. If you feel like it's not needed, then you don't have to do it! ^^
I looooove this paragraph, despite the fact that it's a little awkward to read and the flow is off. BUT the imagery here, it makes me snicker, and that's a good thing.
I think you mean "women" here? Otherwise, this is a very good ending and a very good question to ask. ^^
Overall, this is a fascinating little poem and a rather interesting peek inside the idea of politics and silver-tongues. XD If you ever decide to rewrite it, please let me know! I'd love to see what you can do with this if you fix some of the awkwardness and expand on the imagery.
Keep it up and never stop writing!
~Scarlett.
Thanks for the review! I chose to use 'woman' instead of 'women' to mimic the way people sometimes use 'man' as a short form of 'mankind', e.g. in 'Man has reached the stars,' or 'Man is the most intelligent creature'.
This is a great poem, and I loved it! The words are well chosen, and it has a interesting theme. Though, there are two things that could be done to improve it. (Disregard anything that you disagree with)
First of all, I kind of wish it rhymed, I love poetry that rhymes! I've seen loads of great ones that don't, but I think it would improve yours.
Second of all, It was very short, I wish it was slightly longer. That would be great!
I loved this poem, and you've done a great job making it, as always, keep writing! And enjoy it, too!
Thanks for the review!
Hi liminality! this is awesome, I love it. I'll be back for a review later
Thanks! I'm glad you think so.