Young Writers Society

Wow, this is a really interesting short story! There's a lot of mystery to Mila's backstory, which I think would be lovely to read about if you decide to write more about it (like Cloudthing mentioned in their review). I think you made Mila a relatable character, as least to me, which is definitely something that I like to have in short stories (not required, of course, but it definitely helps in grabbing my attention more).

One thing that I thought was intriguing was when you wrote "She had a monster creeping, inching out of the wastepaper basket". As much as I'm curious to know if this is a real or imagined monster, and if real, what kind of monster is in the wastepaper basket and why, I almost feel that this may be a detail that doesn't need to be included. For me at least, I'm not sure how exactly this fits into the story, unless it is related to her trigger and the anniversary of her fall. In that case, I would consider moving that sentence closer to the end when you mention those other details, as I think it would fit better with the tone at the end (one of mystery and dread) rather than the tone at the beginning.

Again, this was a great short story that I enjoyed reading - keep up the great work!

This was so interesting! I really liked the ending.
The only part I din't understnad was the connection between "Her laundry piled" and the next sentence, "she had a monster creeping, inching out of the wasepaper basket". The rest of the paragraphs seemed to have a coherent theme to every one of them, and this was the only one that confused me. I get the image of a kid being afraid of the shadows their makes in the night, thinking that it's a monster, but I can't know for sure - and I'd like to.
I actually really really liked this. Would love to read more of it, if you decide to continue it rather than leave it as a short story. PM me if you do!
Cloud

This was so interesting! I really liked the ending.
The only part I din't understnad was the connection between "Her laundry piled" and the next sentence, "she had a monster creeping, inching out of the wasepaper basket". The rest of the paragraphs seemed to have a coherent theme to every one of them, and this was the only one that confused me. I get the image of a kid being afraid of the shadows their laundry makes in the night, thinking that it's a monster, but I can't know for sure - and I'd like to.
I actually really really liked this. Would love to read more of it, if you decide to continue it rather than leave it as a short story. PM me if you do!
Cloud