Young Writers Society

Hello, foxmaster here for a review!

oooh, this is really good, I have to say. The ending was really good, and I feel like it closed up this pretty well.
However, I feel like you squished all this into one big paragraph, making it rather hard to read and I often found myself losing my place here, and not really understanding this.
As well written as this was, and as much as the ending was good, the middle part didn't really get the point across to me, and I found myself finally going "Ohhhhh! Ok," when I finished this, and I had to reread it a few times to get it a lot better.
happy writing,
-Foxmaster

Salutations, curious mind!

It’s why I withheld my tongue when I saw you, sir, marching down the pavement with your briefcase in hand, the tie waving from the inside of your pocket.

It’s why I withheld my tongue when I saw you, sir, marching down the pavement with your briefcase in hand, the tie waving from the inside of your pocket. I stood there watching as you made your way towards who I thought was me.

And then I went home, and I made dinner, and I spent another Chinese New Year fatherless.

And then I went home, and I made dinner. With teary and red puffy eyes I looked at the bowl of noodles while holding my chopsticks in my hand. and I spent another Chinese New Year fatherless.

I watched your back push past me, recede, fade, searching for someone else with a watch. I watched you until you were nothing at all.

First of all, I loved this little short story and would love to hear more about this character!
The simile in the second line did seem a little weak, and I think there are plenty of other things you could have compared it to. However, I did like the repetition of the word "Things" as I think it really highlighted that "Each day brings in something new," because you wont know what it is each day, as it's new.
Your varying use of sentence types (Short, declarative, complex) and punctuation made the story flow well and not seem clumsy.
The description is very vivid, and helped set the scene very well. I liked the direct address to whoever the narrator was talking to, made it seem quite personal.
Overall, this was a very well thought out and crafted piece of creative writing. I really enjoyed it! Keep writing

Hey there Liminality! Tuck here for a quick review.

Each day brings in something new, as if the world is putting handmade candies on the conveyor belt of life: each unique from all other things, but that they are all things.

overpowering me like the smell of familiar aftershave and soap.

I spent another Chinese New Year fatherless.