During his 18th birthday, Jun received a red flybike, a black ridesuit and a helmet. All of them were from his parents. The flybike was like the old motorbike people once used. The ridesuit was for protection when he was riding the flybike. The helmet completed the set of presents. He was thrilled, wanting to know how it felt like using a flybike.
It seemed that day was the only day when he felt truly happy.
After that, his parents treated him as usual. They had given him expensive presents, so they expected him to produce a fancy result. Number one in his study. He thought of it as ridiculous since he studied in the university where many students were better than him. He was sure he could give excellent results but to be the top student? Was it necessary? Being excellent was good enough, was not it?
He used the flybike to go to the university, activating its flight mode which would make both its sides produce a wing each, the smaller version of an aeroplane’s wing. He had to go up and use the air paths, mixing with the many flycars. The traffic here was just as busy as the one below but he always arrived to the university at the right time.
The university was a floating one. It was the first of its kind, built in 2050, thirty years ago. It followed the current trend - floating buildings. Jun did not know why the people made them. Maybe they thought of it as a wonderful result after many researches - the hight point of architecture, science and civilization. He thought of it as unnecessary. People were just not satisfied with what they had. They would always make things to the extreme.
Instead of focusing to enhance buildings, why did they not solve the air pollution? When flycars and flybikes first created, they still used petrol. And they still were. Most of the ground vehicles fed solar energy to function but the designers and engineers had yet to apply the same technology to flying vehicles. Another error in their objective - they sought to create the impossible without thinking to create the important aspects.
Jun did not care. Why should he care about the bigger picture when the smaller one which was closer to him was messy enough? His thought went back to his parents. They were like those scientists, designers, architects and engineers. They sought to create the impossible to the point where enough was not enough. They sought that kind of thing from him. They knew how to persuade or force him to do exactly what they wanted.
After all this time, he still lived in their grasp. Parents who wanted to achieve perfectness and wealthiness. The ones who expected so much, and would do everything to reach their own expectations. He could not live with them demanding him to be perfect, to be the best. He knew the desire of wanting such things came from greed. Humans were greedy but now... the greediness was too much.
He ride his flybike faster and faster. He cared less about the flycars at his sides as seconds went by. He just wanted to escape. Escape from this intoxicating town. Escape from this unbearable parents. He could not hold it any longer. He could not resist. Resist against the society’s nature of seeking extremity and impossibility, and he would be frowned upon. Resist against his parents’ nature of seeking perfectness and ridiculousness, and he would be frowned upon. He just did not care right now.
Finally, because of too much speed his flybike had, he lost control of it. One of he wings collided with a flycar’s, making him spin around. The front of his flybike met the side of another car and he was thrown out of it. The force pushed him to the air. He was on the air, falling. His ridesuit was useless - it was meant for riding on the ground road, not on the air road made from air.
Another error in human’s expectation, it seems, he thought, as he fell closer to his end, the hard ground road.
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Huh... well that was very different. What lovely parents he has. I rather liked the way you wrote this, incorporating the main character's thoughts. I also liked how it wasn't in first person. Jun is a very interesting character... I thought he seemed dull at first, but it seems like he's just bored with his life. I rather like that you didn't give a huge description of the world Jun's in, like the information about the buildings was rather cool, but you didn't give like three whole paragraphs describing the whole back story from the world now to the one in the near future. Thank you for that. Too many writers think that readers want the whole back story all at once. (Well, at least I don't, haha.)
Jun, in my opinion, seems a heck of a lot older than only 18. All the thoughts of how "people were never satisfied" and that his parents "who wanted to achieve perfection." He's either very wise, unattached from his world, or a little bit of both. I rather like that. The technology twist I rather enjoy as well, as you used it in an interesting way. (Sorry I keep using interesting, lol.) The things he thought of though, are very, very true. (Pretty sad in a way.)
I myself think that in the future, technology will simply continue to grow, and get more and more pronounced and exaggerated. Much like the world you thought of this in this story. Very cool. After looking through this, I didn't see any errors at all. Wonderful job. Well, I think that's all for now, so thanks for writing this and intriguing me! Have a good day!
Love,
PerksOfBeingAReader
Thanks for the review. <3
You're very welcome! Thanks again for writing this~
No problem. XD
Wauw. The narration seemed so lifeless, like he had given up on everything. No joy, nor happiness. Just a voice speaking. I don't know what happened to Jun, maybe he survived. Who knows how medical care is in the future? Anyway, I really liked it. Jun seemed so lost, all he cares about is the basic, not the fancy stuff. I also liked the old flying bike idea. Gives it a nice scenerio.
-Lau.
Thanks for the review.