Hello again! Happy review day! 
This section felt a bit choppy to me because there were three distinct sections and each distinct section was short. I get that you're trying to show a lot of different things and move the plot along while still giving us information, but I think you're trying to do too much. Did you plot this novel before you started writing (as in plan what was going to happen in each chapter or scene) or did you just go for it (as in you know the major plot points and then just write)?
If you didn't plot, I think you could benefit from plotting in the next draft. I used to not be a plotter and I would just write and see what happened. I wrote several novels that way, and now I've been converted to plotting 
I think one issue with this story is that your chapters have too much going on in them. I'm not sure what the main idea of each chapter is because they go in so many directions.
When you start the next draft, one exercise that I find really helpful is to read each chapter and try to write one sentence that summarizes the main point of that chapter or how the plot moves forward in that chapter. If you can't come up with a sentence, that's a problem because nothing is happening and there's no main point. If you can't do it in one sentence, that's a problem because too much is happening in that chapter.
Now some people like to write really long chapters, and that's fine. You're kind of in that boat. So you might not be able to write one sentence. You could either shorten your chapters, or you could do this for each individual scene in a chapter (like whenever you have a line break between scenes). You'd have to do a bit more analyzing then because you'll have to figure out with each of those scenes, if the scene is important enough for the plot to be there. Is it moving the plot forward? Is it giving us a really important character or world insight? Without that scene would there be something missing in the novel? Then you should also think of the chapter as a whole and think about what you want the goal for that chapter to be and whether or not each individual scene helps to achieve that goal. Ask yourself if that scene wasn't there, would the chapter still make sense? Would the chapter still achieve its goal? It's hard work, and you might have to cut some scenes or move some things around or change where you break chapters, but I think it's really helpful getting the big picture of the novel together.
So with this chapter, we have three events:
1. the prayer
2. getting ready to leave
3. arriving at Sarah's house
Let's break each of these down a bit.
1. The prayer
I thought this section was interesting because it brings in that nice cultural aspect to the story. I'm glad that just because all of this exciting stuff is going on with the lights, you're not forgetting about their regular lives and customs. You describe well and you explain well, but this scene fell a bit flat for me because it felt a bit devoid of emotion. It felt like Merah was just going through the motions and explaining what was going on rather than being an active member of the scene. Rosey has a great article about breathing emotion into scenes that might help. The other thing I would think about is showing the actions of everyone there and including a ton of Merah's thoughts and feelings and reactions. Show her dad glaring and then immediately have her reaction - like what she thinks and feels in that moment. Stuff like that to give it a bit more life.
I really like the little bits of internal monologue you included about her feelings towards what she's doing and how her heart isn't really in this. It adds some nice natural conflict because religion is obviously important to her parents and her family and while she's going through the motions, she doesn't really buy into it.
2. Getting ready to leave
The part of this I found interesting was the short conversation she had with Imran about Sarah. I think it could be important because you could use it to advance the Imran/Sarah subplot. If you include it, I would expand it. I want to know more about how Imran feels about her and what he's planning on doing and why and how Merah feels about all of that. I would want them to have a bit more back and forth to show both of their personalities but also to show how they interact as siblings and what their sibling relationship is like. I'm not sure if the bath part needs to be in there. It kind of distracts from the more interesting part of the conversation in my opinion.
One little thing I found odd - when Merah says "man, did he look good with that black..." That's her brother. Why is she saying he looks good?
3. Arriving at Sarah's house
This was the part I was more hesitant about. If you're going to show them arriving at Sarah's house, show that and save the monologue about her father for a different time. I thought the monologue was interesting (a bit too repetitive with "bitch" in my opinion) but it distracts from what's happening, which is that they've arrived at this house and they're getting ready to go on their mission. Maybe find a different place to include all of these thoughts and feelings about her father. Maybe show a conversation with the father before they leave and then on their way over to Sarah's Merah is thinking all of these things.
See you soon! Let me know if you have any questions/if anything I said was confusing!
Points: 32055
Reviews: 1162
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