7 Minutes Left -- 7:00|Part 2

Maddie watched her older sister walk in, Kelsey. She clearly was not ready to get out of bed yet, despite it being Christmas morning. She and I were always opposites in every way growing up. Kelsey reminded me so much of Sarah. She always felt like a mirror version of my sister.

“Can we do presents first this year?” Kelsey complained. She was noticeably different from what I remembered. Now that I was used to her being older, Kelsey’s voice seemed squeakier when she was younger, and every sentence of hers ended in a question or the sound “uhh.” Her hair was also longer, but the biggest change was that it was still brown.

Kelsey changed it to blonde before college, determined to look older. I preferred it blonde too. I thought about the date of this Christmas. Kelsey couldn’t be older than twelve now.

Younger Maddie always decided to respond to everything anyone said, even if it wasn’t said toward her. “No! Breakfast is my favorite part!” Kelsey rolled her eyes at Maddie.

“Come on, we always eat breakfast first. Can’t I pick for once?”

“Kelsey. Sit down and eat your breakfast,” Mom said. Kelsey sat down with her shoulders slumped, clearly disappointed. I felt Maddie’s cheeks lift up, grinning at Kelsey since she’d won this fight. Kelsey rolled her eyes again. The family said their prayers, it was Maddie’s turn this time.

“Please bless our casserole and bless Mom and bless Daddy and bless Kelsey and bless our presents are good and bless this day and thank you for Christmas, Amen.” I cringed at Maddie during the prayer, but couldn’t help thinking it was cute too. I noticed Mom and Dad sharing a smile because of the prayer as well. It was the last time they’d do that again too.

Dad clapped his hands, rubbing with rough, calloused hands together. This signaled that the breakfast was about to start. “Okay, let’s dig in.”

⬥⬥⬥

Presents went by slowly. Usually, I was excited to see what presents I’d receive each year, but this didn’t feel like Christmas. I didn’t like the idea of living through someone else’s eyes when all I wanted to do was live through my own. I wanted to escape whatever place this was. Even if it was still me – or Maddie – it still didn’t feel right.

Maddie played with her new toy makeup set, putting on the brightest colors of eyeshadow and the most hideous red lipstick, but it still made her feel like royalty. She changed into one of her new church dresses and bossed everyone around like the princess she believed she was.

“Kelsey, bow down to me!” Kelsey looked up from her new phone. She’d just gotten it this Christmas. She examined the ridiculous outfit Maddie was wearing. Instead of laughing and playing along, she just looked back at her phone and walked down the hallway toward her room.

Maddie didn’t let this affect her too much, and continued to boss around invisible knights and act like she was in love with the most handsome prince.

I waited, and waited. I waited some more. I waited for what I knew was coming, what I knew couldn’t be avoided – no matter how much I wanted to scream at my younger self to change things. There was no part of me that wanted to watch the moment my family got torn apart – not again.

When Maddie was done playing princess, she was asking Mom questions.

“Mom, how do fireplaces work?”

“Mom, what’s higher than a million?”

“Mom, why haven’t you gone to space?”

I’d always been a curious kid. There was so much I didn’t know yet, things that I wanted to figure out. I was never great in school, so I chose to ask questions down to the finest detail, determined to understand why everything was the way it was – even if they were stupid questions.

I prepared myself for what was coming next. I remembered this part so clearly. It was burned into my memory – down to the last second.

Five seconds.

Two seconds.

One–