Balls, you discovered one Friday afternoon in the covered courts, are beautiful. You couldn’t put it into words, but you knew there was something about its flight that made it pleasing to the visual senses. You realized it that one fateful intramural basketball game. Both your class’ team and their opponent were neck and neck in terms of score, with the enemy team leading by just two points, and only a little under five seconds were left before the end of the last quarter, as well as the end of the entire tournament. That was when Steve, your class’ team captain, in possession of the ball, swiftly crossovered out of the clutches of the enemy’s defense, stepped precisely in front of the three-point arc, and in one fluid motion, jumped and let fly of the ball. How proficient, how masterful, how immaculate was his form in that very moment, from the placement of his feet to the tiny flicking motions of his fingers, because the flight he caused of the ball was nothing short of perfect.
The way in which the ball was thrown was precise: not too high to waste precious time in beating the buzzer, not too low to risk merely hitting the outside of the ring, but it was thrown at just the right angle with just the right power to make it travel in an equally precise and efficient arc heading straight for the basket. The ball flew like a mighty eagle – graceful, calm, and in control. It was superior, invincible and untouchable above everyone else, above the spectators and referees who were in both fear and awe, and, most especially, above the opposition who could do nothing but watch helplessly and pray to God for an early Christmas miracle, but not without an ominous feeling that rested deep in the bottom of their souls. At the last split-second, the ball effectively ended the game with the euphoric, almost silent fwish, that sound that only the most adept of players can produce.
At the blare of the buzzer, everyone watching went up in flames. Your team took off their sweatied jerseys and waved them around like victory flags as they ran back to the embrace of your classmates, who were joyously jumping and roaring around with the force of a million lions. The opponent team, on the other hand, walked back home with their faces buried in their hands. It must have been the ultimate heartbreaker for them, having the championship stolen from them at the very last second by the most well-executed clutch play produced in the entire school. Even as you were already watching cars and lights blur past the window, the only thing that remained in mind was not that play, but the winning ball. The match had ended, but it remained still in the midst of the ecstatic riot that was your class. The letters printed on its surface looked you straight in the eye, as if it was communicating to you an intimate invitation.
Interesting theme to go with, I have to say, but as an avid basketball fan, I have to admit I enjoyed it. The extensive range of vocabulary and the pacing had me drawn in, though the paragraph structure could have been a little better. Overall, a pretty good, if slightly random, short story.
Hello! I'm here to bring this out of the green room for ya 
This was an interesting little piece. I thought it was rather creative the way you were able to take one moment - winning a basketball game - and slow it down to be a suspenseful, meaningful moment. You did a really nice job including detail and feeling into the piece to make it really clear what the narrator was experiencing. By the end, I understood why the narrator felt that a game of ball was beautiful.
One thing I think you could do to improve upon this piece is to break up your paragraphs and your sentences a little more. We learn in school that you need 3-5 sentences for a paragraph and sentences need these various components, and that's great for academic writing, but in creative writing we get to break all of the rules 
You can use paragraphs and sentences to add suspense and create pacing in your story, and I think in a piece like this where you're using lots of detail to build a moment, you could really use that to your advantage. As a general rule of thumb, the shorter your paragraphs and the shorter your sentences, the faster the pacing. If you think about it, it works because when the reader goes to read it, it doesn't take as long to read those shorter paragraphs or sentences so the reader will read faster and subconsciously pick up the pace.
So here, let's look at the middle paragraph.
The way in which the ball was thrown was precise: not too high to waste precious time in beating the buzzer, not too low to risk merely hitting the outside of the ring, but it was thrown at just the right angle with just the right power to make it travel in an equally precise and efficient arc heading straight for the basket.
The ball flew like a mighty eagle – graceful, calm, and in control.
Play around with it and experiment with how you break things up and how that impacts the overall flow and pace of the story. 
Hello Koitsubaki,
Here to review your short story entitled '1.'
Ok so the theme is about 'balls' then............................................... random?
"You realized it that one fateful intramural basketball game."
With this sentence I would take out intramural because it seems too pretentious and unsuited for a casual piece of text. I would also use the word 'during' rather than 'that' because it sounds better.
"enemy team" Opposing team sounds better.
The whole sentence at this point is disjointed and would flow better if you reworded it.
"Both your class’ team and their opponent were neck and neck with the enemy team leading by just two points, and only a little under five seconds were left before the end of the last quarter as well as the end of the tournament." This is my improved version.
"That was when Steve, your class’ team captain, in possession of the ball"
Get rid of the comma that separates captain and in because it's extra information that can be said without a pause.
You've repeated precise in the space of a couple of sentences, change.
'Sweatied' is not a word, it should be 'sweaty'.
'well-executed clutch play produced' Too much, too laboured for it to sound right.
'Even as you were already--- change it to 'As you were watching cars....'
So is this character obsessed with the ball play or something - i'd like to know how you got this idea in the first place.
Look, at this point the story is so random and descriptive on a generic subject that I'm going to save my words with calling out constant criticisms that will inevitably change the whole story.
I haven't scanned through all the story, but I can suggest that you look back on this and change alot of the wording so it 1. Makes sense and 2. Flows so it's readable and digestible.
Overall, the story was quite satisfactory, with constant descriptions that seemed forced and over-flowery. Try to get out of the habit of placing commas everywhere, I would fully recommending searching 'complex sentences' and reading up about them so you're sure about the agreement of the clauses. The vocab was pretty good, but didn't really match the ordinary vibe I got from this.
What you can learn from this?
Keep trying, keep taking on advice and keep practicing! This was your first piece so naturally there will be some leniency, but really read through all the other reviews, including mine, to see what you need to do to perfect this piece.
PenmanshipPriority
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