Look! There's Sum Ting Wong! shouted the bigger kids as the short pale boy entered the classroom. Quickly, they scooted over to his seat and started wiggling their pinky fingers at him whilst spewing high-pitched gibberish. Stop! Stop it, stop it, stop it! he cried, but the laughter and merrymaking only grew louder. I took one last glance at the boy, whose face was buried in his hands, before I finally looked away. Kevin Wong was picked on the bigger kids again, I noted. At this rate, there'll be no end to his misery.
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Well, this is a unusual story, and I have several questions.
For one, where is the plot, sure the main argument is that
"This is real", but if it were real, I would think that the bigger kids would do something a bit more intelligent than the alformentioned unexplanable gibberish.
For two, searching for symbol (")
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Unable to find " in story.
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Error, unable to find any character development in this story.
In all, you get the idea of my thought's.
If this review is confusing to you with all the computer gibberish, then consult me.
There's the beginning of a good foundation here, but you'll need to finish the skeleton and fill in the narrative a bit more before this can be properly reviewed. That being said, a good foundation means potential, and I think I'd enjoy this story quite a bit if it were a little longer and if the characters were a bit more fleshed out. It's hard for me to care about Wong's problems with the other children if I don't know Wong at all.
Greetings from The Swordsman!
Okay....though this was short, even short for a short story, it speaks volumes to what life is like today. Kids, from elementary to high school are teased relentlessly for something as insignificant as a last name.
I can't say there was anything to address in this, save for when someone speaks you should put quotes around those words to really make them stand out.
I can't say that I like the how the narrator handled the situation. Too often are kids bullied and those around them either ignore it or join in to prevent being bullied themselves. As much as I don't like it though, it is the simple fact that we live in a society where we think it is better not to get involved than to stand up and tell someone to stop being a jerk.
Overall, this was a good piece and I enjoyed it. Short and to the point, but it had a deep story in it that I think everyone can address.
Thanks for sharing and I hope to see more from you.
Happy Writing!
"when someone speaks you should put quotes around those words to really make them stand out"
That exactly, is the point as to why I omitted the quotation marks.
Anyways thanks for your review! Very appreciated :3
Hi there! I thought this was really interesting..At first I thought you'd made a spelling error with the title
... but no that kind of makes sense. I like the point you've highlighted here, true story.. these things happen and it's sad to think people can be that malicious and actually racist as I presume that this boy is perhaps Chinese or something? As there are many people known after that name from China, or so I've heard.
. But it's totally understandable why someone wouldn't want to involve themselves - just looking at it from a different perspective.
I like the way you've written it too - so short yet so clear. The repetition of "Stop it" makes it so realistic and I can just picture it in my mind.
I also saw how you put "I noted" - rather than actually sort of standing up to the big kids.. which in a way , not trying to be offensive, but that in itself is also wrong.. because we should all look out for each other
The way you've ended it is also quite sad "At this rate, there'll be no end to his misery." - quite a depressing realisation .. unless it were to be stopped of course.
Overall, found this interesting to read and I admire the way in which you've written it as a record of events. Well done
Thanks for the review! :3