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125,005 Literary Works • 672,805 Reviews
Kayfortnight here to review your poem!
I love the very concept of this poem. It's just like we could never explain music to the deaf or flavor to those who can't taste. This poem points out how precious our world is because we can see. My favorite stanza is the final one; it flows beautifully.
Maybe you could expand on your ideas here? It'd be nice to hear you try to describe color, and mention all the ways your description falls short. Show the readers how difficult it is by painting a picture of shine and sparkle and matte colors too. I'd say the two colors blind people might truly understand would be black and white, because the world appears to them completely black and the opposite is white.
I also think you could try and add some more rhythm to your poem; for example, in this stanza:
I think you should cut the "to them" out and change explain to understand. Your message will be clearer and the stanza will sound better. If you try reading other stanzas aloud, you'll see what I mean about editing them for rhythm.
That's a very good poem and it seems like a complacated think to write about but i really liked it! Good Job!
This has been extremely well thought through and I can honestly say tears came to my eyes. I can relate to this because one of my favorite and closest teachers has been blind and I have to remember when I describe something that using colors is meaningless to her because they aren't described easily. It also reminds me of the Giver book which was a whole new awakening of the colors. I have no critiques for this piece and only great praise.
This poem is very dark, yet so very touching. I was born with a brain disorder that affected my eyes, and as I grew up, they feared that I would go blind before I was an adult. I understand what it is like to fear that loss of sight, and I so very much appreciate colors. It is impossible to explain colors, and I love that you created a poem out of something so very... unpoetic? Not many people have the knowledge to write about anything: be thankful for your gift, and keep writing!
-Kelsey
The premise is beautiful and thought-provoking.... Thing I like about this poem is that it's familiar but it's ALL about the story. The style is straightforwards, the content yells at you, and it's extremely dark but not because of HOW you wrote it but because of the raw energy of the idea itself. This is a beautiful poem and it's been a long time since I've read one like this (there's a massive lack of raw poems like these x_x). Beautiful work, keep writing!
This is somewhat dark, yet moving. I was impressed. I love the expression, with the point of view. It is true, it is mostly dark, but it really shows the depressing part of the blind. Beautiful poetry, hats off to you. This kept me intrigued and one of my favorite poems so far. The darkness factor I love, because Im more of a dark humor type of guy, and dark is in there. Simply moving.I hope there is more work from you, and there is applause. There isn't much more to say about it, but it was good. Superb. 8.3/10