Red

I really like the wording you used! It emphasized the point; such as how you capitalized the H in her. I can relate to your feeling a lot, so this poem really attracted me. Keep writing because you have a unique way of expressing yourself XD. I want to read more. -ThatGirl

Well done Kittybee, i think this poem is veery direct and blunt as you have been told earlier, which i find quite interesting i havent really read a poem like yours not in a bad way. I think this poem was really good, especially the way you expressed yourself was really good and touching. Very good job

Wow. The rhyme here is so perfect. I haven't seen anything like this in a while. Great job! At first glance I thought these were just forced rhymes, rhymes using words that make not sense in the sentence that are just there to create a rhyming sound. When I look back though, I see ha the rhymes do indeed make lots of sense. Again great job and keep up the great work!
~Dark.

I absolutely fell in love with this piece. I think that your rhyme scheme was spot on, it was very consistent without being to much, which is always refreshing. Personally, I think this would go very well with music, maybe a piano piece or an acoustic guitar? I read this aloud and it was gorgeous. Awesome work, and keep it up!

Hi, KittyBee c: (cute username by the way)
Catnip here with a review (I think this is the first one I've ever done for you, personally)
Anyhoo! Off we gooooo~~~~~

Your description of the poem was very nice, just what a story's "foreword" should be. It was luring (drawing readers in), clear, intriguing and very consciously stated. No uncertainty in it. It also shows a lot of talent and character, and any reader (who's intelligent enough to realize that it was intentional, and NOT a grammatical mistake) can appreciate the fact that you capitalized "Her".

Lovely, SOLID opening line:

"This is to a history"

"A stone faced, empty mystery" ("A stone faced, (an) empty mystery", might sound better, but I don't know the personal depth behind it, so I could be at fault for suggesting that.)

"Who oozez red surrender--" (slight typo "oozez" should be "oozes", but that's obviously just a grammatical typo lol)
And might I ask, does "red" surrender symbolize blood here? I ask out of personal curiosity, not because there's anything wrong or misleading about your using the word lol very nicely done.
This, allow me to point out and brag a bit:
"one who held Her, loved Her;

the only who can tell

Lists of Her secrets

of Her regrets

of Her shames and fears and songs

and that writer, lonely fire

has been dreaming all along

to protect Her--

adore Her

to keep her from the wrong"

These were epic lines. The work of true poetry, and not that of an amateur. I DO NOT say that lightly. That was a beautiful display of emotion, true and genuine passion, and a poetic soul. Very lovely, do not change a thing there.

The only advice I could give would be to break the poem into stanzas. it would flow off the tongue more smoothly and really improve your piece. You have a gift for writing and no one should discourage you from continuing to write more wondrous (I don't use that word lightly) pieces of work. This was sincerely the most enjoyable thing I've read on here in a lot time.
Thanks for the opportunity (I've never said that to anyone in a review lol)
Props <.3

Keep writing, good luck, and give it your all.

Nippy~

I really like this. I feel that a lot of people are afraid to be so blunt and put themselves out there. You did a great job, and this poem has a lot of emotion packed into a few short sentence. The lines flow together really well, props to you on that. Also, grammar is great. Keep up the good work, good luck to you and your writing.