A night of dark desire,
A song of subtlety,
Wolves vent their loneliness,
The beautiful one arises.
Mist shrouds her pale form,
A most everlasting desire.
Her ebony hair cascades
Over pale and delicate shoulders,
And her full crimson lips part slightly,
To taste the life
Streaming from the pale flesh beneath her.
Now a night of ecstasy, I thirst.
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125,016 Literary Works • 672,851 Reviews
Honestly,I instantly know that this is going to be a great poem the moment I read its title.
I love it, cause I'm a fan of Gothic literature too.
Keep writing!
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I've always had the taste of vomit in my mouth when Twilight was ever spoken. That fool, Stephanie, took a beautiful piece of horror and created this massive soap opera out of it. Fucking ridiculous.
By the way, I very much appreciate your compliment.
Thank you, everyone, so very much for your thoughts and considerations on this piece. I do understand that now, with the twisted and almost sickening view of modern vampires due to the obtrusive Twilight series, it is hard to create a piece on a species that once was reverend, yet feared greatly. I solely and only believe in the classic Gothic view of vampires and not the shit that Hollywood has put so much effort into destroying and sucking the very meaning out of. Vampires used to have so much meaning, the feeling of immortality, the ecstasy of bloodlust, the list goes on. I still have a deep passion from those once amazing creatures that I so wished to be. Nonetheless, this piece really was inspired by my views and not of hollywood's.
is this a vampire reference? very existential, but great adjectives and flow, good poem!!
Hello! I'm HPR and I shall review your poem.
Firslty, (I'm really sorry about this.) I didn't realise it was about a vampire until I read the review of the person before me. Sorry.
I don't particularly like vampires but I think this is pretty good because, like samii says, some people appreciate a poem for being a poem.
I just think you should organise the poem into paragraphs. It would give the poem a better flow. Like this:
I like the imagery of the girl. Or is it the vampire? I'm not sure. Anyway, it's like, I can just imagine a girl with 'pale and delicate shoulders' and the way you've described her hair is just so.... so.... amazing for want of a better word. Though I think you could have removed 'it is' from the first line. It gives a better feeling like that. Or maybe it's just me who thinks that way. So anyway make it like:
Anyway, awesome poem and you should really write more like this one! Like I said, I don't particularly like vampires but this is very good.
~HPR~
I have never come across a vampire poem before, but yours was fantastic! The only problem I find is that I know many people hate vampires, so they will dislike the poem, some people love vampires so they will like it. Then there are people like me who just appreciate a poem for being a poem. You took a risk in choosing this particular subject, but personaly, I think you nailed it!
I particularly like the ending:
This sentance has power in it, along with all your other words too, but this is the one sentance that stands out for me.