z

Young Writers Society


12+ Violence

Otherwordly Hero-A Space Cat Short

by EverLight


''I will never help that human youngling!'' Stargazer hissed, disgusted fury in his voice. ''I hate humans!''

''You do not understand my Starrier. It must be you and you alone. No other space cat can save her,'' The space cat leader, Moonbeam meowed calmly.

''Why me,'' Stargazer snarled, fur raised, tail lashing teeth bared with burning fury. His mind flashed with memories of a burning fire, heart-breaking screams full of desperation and pain, and the agonized pleading voice of a space cat, begging for his help . . .

''Stargazer, you must let all your pain from the Night of Terror go. You cannot hold on to it forever, or else it will eat you away from the inside. So forgive the humans. We all must do that at one time or another-least we end up regretting it . . . one way or another.'' The old leaders sighed heavily. Memories of pain flickered in his eyes as he gazed at the sky, as though moons and moons of pain stretched across it.

''Regret! I think humans have more to regret then I do.'' Stargazer scoffed, scraping his claws across the ground furiously.

''I understand your anger Stargazer, but no being no matter what they did, is undeserving of compassion. Besides this is a youngling we are talking about. It was only the adults who terrorized us. The younglings are innocent.'' Moonbeam meowed. Slowly Stargazers anger drained away. I'll do it, even if I don't like it . . . I won't let an innocent youngling be harmed. He thought.

''Oh alright, I will do this -even if I hate it.'' Stargazer sighed. A look of respect briefly crossed Moonbeam's face.

''You may become a hero of legends someday, for sacrificing your believes for this humans life.'' He said. Stargazer dipped his head in acknowledgment of what his leader had said, and with a flick of his tail headed out into the night, heading towards the area where his ship was kept. About half way there, he paused to look up at the night sky. The stars shone in all their mystery. He gazed wonderingly at them. Is this really what I'm meant to do? Save that human youngling? He thought, then as though to answer his question, the stars seemed to shine brighter. An awed sense of peace came across him, as a shooting star flashed across the sky. Stargazer shivered as a sense of wonder crawled down his spine. Is that a yes? He wondered. He shook himself and turned away from the sky, and headed towards his ship. Stargazer's Spacecraft looked like an orange egg with its elliptical shape, and huge window, which sat in the front of the ship. Stargazer jumped into the vehicle, started up her engines and flew into deep space. As he traveled across the eternal blackness, his thoughts wandered. Is it really true, that great things come if we let go of all our pain and hurt? He wondered. For a long time Stargazer had been angry at humans-angry didn't even begin to describe it. It was deep-rooted wrath. What humans had done to his kind on the Night of Terror was unforgivable. The horror of that night had traumatized him, and for a long time Stargazer had been tortured with the pain of losing his love, as well as his son. He couldn't forgive the earthlings. Not ever . . . yet he had to let it all go in order to save this youngling human. Suddenly he saw Earth. His eyes opened wide with wonder. Wow! Stargazer breathed. Isn't Earth beautiful! The planet swirled with colors of blue green red and white like a marble. It was breathtakingly stunning. Stargazer stood still on his ship as though he was in a trance, and stared out in awe at the world that humans lived in. Then he shook himself, as though breaking himself from a spell. I have work to do. I have no time for a joy flight across space. Stargazer turned on his communicator watch.

''I've reached Earth Moonbeam.'' He reported.

''Excellent'' Moonbeam's voice came across the speaker. ''You can land now.''

''But where do I land!'' Stargazer cried. ''I can't just pick a place to land. I have to land right where the youngling is.'' An amused snort came from the radio collar.

''Yes, yes very well. Land above the curved dip.''

''Got it. Thanks sir'' There was a click as Stargazer turned off the collar. He turned his attention to Earth. Okay looking for a curved dip . . . Suddenly a J shaped curved piece of land came to view, with its lush green color it was hard to miss. Aha there it is! Stargazer thought. He positioned his ship to the land above that. As he maneuvered the craft it let out a groan. ''Steady girl'' Stargazer murmured patting its round black steering wheel. Okay here comes the ascent to earth! He thought. He gritted his teeth as he pushed the red ascent button on his ship set the Pressure resistance to maximum and braced himself. Slowly the ship started to shake and rattle as it entered the atmosphere of earth suddenly a jolting pang shook the craft and he realized he'd landed on Earth. He cautiously walked out anxiety churning in his stomach. I'm on Earth . . . Will I survive? Will I be able to save that youngling? He wondered. He looked around. Tall structures dominated the sky and instead of rich green grass ugly gray stuff met his paws. Ugh I thought this place was supposed to be beautiful! Misgivings filled his mind. Am I really meant go here to save that human? What if I have landed in the wrong place? Suddenly the ground beneath his paws began to shake; a strange kind of rumble broke the silence. What was that! Suddenly a strange kind of monster headed straight for him! Heart pounding widley in panic, he desperately searched for an escape route. Suddenly he spotted a patch of soft green grass. Could he make it to the other side of the road? I'll have to risk it. He thought anxiously. He crouched, muscles tense with anticipation, and suddenly sprang flying across the road. He sighed as the cool soft feel of dirt met his paws. He made it. Right, so where is that human youngling? He thought. He looked around. His heart wrenched. The gray stuff was everywhere, as if the humans had dominated the place with the hard gray material. Poor planet Earth, He sighed. Earth is so beautiful yet they've destroyed it. Why these humans would destroy their own home beats me. Humans where everywhere he watched uneasily as they walked to and fro, suddenly memories of the Night of Terror filled his mind. He felt anger begin rage inside him like a fire. He began tearing at the grass. Do I really want to save the humans? He shook himself. Focus! Don't think about that night. You have a young human to protect. He told himself. Firmly he pushed the memories into the back of his mind. They weren't important. Saving the baby human was. Where was that silly youngling anyway? He looked around the tall buildings. They were straight and shaped something like a rectangular tower of some sort, covered in square see through stuff, and colored black and gray. Strange droning noises echoed hauntingly throughout the area making him uneasy. Suddenly a small human, caught his eye. She had long reddish gold hair, with a flowy blue suit on her. He eyed her. Something about her seemed different. She skipped into a long dark alleyway. A twinge of nervousness pricked him. This was the human girl he was supposed to save! He realized with a jolt. He slunk after her quietly, jumping at the sound of the monsters as the roared passed him. The alleyway was dark long and had no garbage cluttered in between the houses. Doesn't this human have parents? Where are they? He thought. Then realized they were missing. The little youngling was heading off in to an alley with no one to keep her safe from dangerous humans! The youngling looked around her curiously. He noticed two adults walking towards her. One was tall and had short hair the other was shorter and had longer hair. Stargazer's heart pounded. Something was wrong.

''Hey Rosie'' The one with short hair said. A strange emotion crossed his eyes, when he realized the little human was alone.

''Hi uncle, do you like my new dress?'' The human chattered, she looked perfectly calm. Stargazer gritted his teeth as fury slowly raged like a fire in his stomach. She trusts them! They are taking advantage of that! The hard gray material that the alley was made of felt gritty as he scraped his claws against them, his tail lashing furiously.

''Yes, of course we do, little Rosie!'' Her uncle said. The youngling human gave a squeal of delight.

''Can you do something for me?'' He asked. Stargazer spat in disgust. Evil thing! Tricking that innocent human youngling! He growled, bristling his fur. Remind me why I agreed to go down here again! ''What?'' The youngling asked pride in her voice. His heart wrenched for that poor human. As much as he hated humans he couldn't help feeling sorry for this one. She doesn't know that she is being tricked.

''What you can do is help me look for my wallet. You see it's been missing all day. I tried asking other adults for help but they refused. So I thought maybe you might help.''

''Yes! I'd love to!'' The youngling exclaimed excitedly. A dark pleased look came across the adult's face. The wicked human! How could a human being do this? Take advantage of this youngling's innocence! Stargazer's fur rose as rage burned on his stomach like boiling water. I've got to stop them! He let out a screech of outrage crashing into the human claws out. His anger lent energy to his paws as he dug claws into the humans arm and dragged them down. The human let out a cry of pain, as blood started to trickle down from the wound sending it to the ground clutching his arm. Stargazer leaped onto the human hindclaws digging into its stomach. He dug his claws deep into the chest of the human. Blood and plasma poured out staining the cloths the human wore. The adult human let out a scream of agony as blood began leaking out onto the ground below. Stargazer retracted his claws after a final slash to the ear. ''That'll teach you to try to harm an innocent human being!" He snarled viciously, then leaped down from the human and airily cleaned the blood off his claws. He twitched his ears as a thump thump shook the ground, like something running. Just another human, he thought. Suddenly he heard another lighter set, two humans? He leaped that youngling could be in danger! But he realized as the youngling let out a cry of joy racing towards the humans that it was just her parents. They were happy to see their child again, letting out cries of delight as tears streamed down their faces. Something about their tears of joy warmed his heart, as a happy peace washed over him.

''Rosie! Oh don't you ever run away again!'' The female human cried through her tears. The father's eyes though were glued to Rosie's would have been abductors. Stargazer twitched his tail nervously. What is that earthling thinking about? Will he try to harm me? He thought anxiously. He crouched behind a trashcan heart leaping in his chest eyes wide.

''Can you tell me what happened to you while you ran away?" Rosie's father asked a grim note to his voice pointing towards the human that lay on the ground. Rosie burst into tears.

''He asked me for help and I was going to help him then a cat came and attacked them!'' She cried.

''There there now don't cry.'' Her mother said gently stroking her hair.

''He asked you for help?'' The father said alarm lighting his eyes. ''Then that cat saved your life!''

''Wha-what do you mean saved my life!'' Rosie said alarm in her voice.

''Listen Rosie; don't ever listen to a human who asks you for help. They don't want your help. They want to take you away from us.'' Her father explained. The female adult human walked over to the Stargazer's hiding place. 

''I know your there. You can't hide forever.'' She side.  Stargazer's hear stopped, as she reached behind the trashcan he crouched low heart pounding with fear. I'm fine with saving a youngling human-but I will not let an adult human touch me!  Was she going to harm him? Just like her kind had done all throughout the Night of Terror? He waited for her to hit him or at least beat him but instead she gently touched him behind his ears Stargazer relaxed.

''Thank you for saving my darling girl.'' She whispered in a soft voice. Stargazer purred fear forgotten. Should I say thank you? He wondered suddenly. Could he trust these humans? Well I will be heading home soon . . . so I guess it's all right.

''Your welcome'' He meowed dipping his head. The human's mouth gaped in shock.

''You . . . you spoke!'' She cried, and then shook herself. Are you humans strange or what? Of course I just spoke. He thought tail twitching with amusement. These humans are so funny.

''Well anyways thank you. People can do really wicked things'' She said, deep gratitude in her voice. Yes like kill of a whole race of innocent beings. He thought darkly, then glanced at the bodies of the almost dead human. And try to steal a child as they call human younglings. Who does that?

''You don't need to tell me that.'' He meowed, voice rough with grief as thoughts of the Night of Terror racing through his mind, tearing at his heart. He felt tears threaten to pour down his face. He nodded to the humans and headed off towards his ship before the humans could see them fall. I can't hold on to these memories. I can't hold on to this pain. Stargazer thought wreathing in agony of his memories. I must let it go.

. . .

Stargazer looked out into the river of memory, watching its waters race down the mountain. According to Space Cat tradition to let go of memories, they had to jump into the river just before dawn, surrender them to God and put them behind them. The river swirled with the blues of the dusk sky. I forgive the humans. Now I must let go of my pain and anger. He thought.

''Well what are you waiting for Stargazer?'' Moonbeam hissed slight annoyance in his voice. ''I have a kingdom to run. I have no time for cats who take their time to let go of the past.''

Stargazer took a deep breath and dived into the river. Dear God He prayed silently well aware of the eerie calm around him as the river rocked him comfortingly. Take my memories from the Night of Terror and wash them away. I surrender them to you. The Night of Terror is done. It's over. I give all the pain hate and rage to you. I will no longer let my emotions control me. I give them to you, in hopes of brighter days, for peace of soul and the freedom of those who are unbound. Wash my old spirit away and give me a spirit of Joy peace and love. Renew me, in your grace and might. Make me as a flower, blossoming with radiant hope and light. Give me the freedom of the unchained, let my spirit fill with the freedom you offer. In your mighty name I pray amen. As he stood there in the dark waters with the spirit of God with him he felt peace wash over him. His heart felt light like a weight had lifted. Stargazer rose from the water. He watched the river wash down the side of the mountain. Good-bye he thought as his memories and pain washed away running down the river into forgetfulness. He shivered as peace washed over him. He felt as though he could run forever, free and unbound. He felt as though he could do anything. The dawn light slowly crept across the world with the promise of a new day, a new hope, a new beginning. I will never forget those who have gone He thought. But they must lay to rest. Joy welled in his heart and Stargazer danced in the waters feeling lighter than he had ever been. I let go of my pain and I have found peace. It doesn't get any better than this. And perhaps nothing is better then finding the peace of God.

 . . .

Be on the look out for the next space cat short . . .


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Points: 97
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Sun Apr 29, 2018 7:25 pm
marklavish wrote a review...



This seems like it would be better suited to be a play or something of that matter. I think it would read a lot better if it were structured that way, since a large bulk of this story is either dialogue or internal monologue.

For example:
Stargazer, disgusted hissing: ''I will never help that human youngling! I hate humans!''

Moonbeam, calmly: ''You do not understand my Starrier. It must be you and you alone. No other space cat can save her."

It might work well, it might not, but that's just a small suggestion. Otherwise, if you do want to keep this as a regular narrative format, I'd suggest breaking up the internal monologue a bit. There are quite a few grammatical and spelling errors, as the first reviewer mentioned thoroughly, but it gets somewhat confusing to see so much monologue in one paragraph. Also, I'm not sure if the center-justified text was intentional or not, but it resembles more of a poem that way. It might be better to justify the text to the left.




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Sun Apr 29, 2018 12:18 pm
Clairia wrote a review...



Hey there, I'm Londone, here to review your work.

You've created a very original piece here about space cats, (or one in particular, rather) his fear of humans, and how he conquers it. I think you've got a good concept here, and I'd be interested to see more.
You did have a lot of technical issues, though. There were quite a few of missing commas, grammar misusage, and capitalizing letters where they shouldn't be capitalized. Probably the best thing we should do here is analyze this story from the top to bottom so we can discuss each section.

...Stargazer hissed, disgusted fury in his voice.

I suggest editing this a bit. You could probably cut off the sentence at "disgusted" so it now ends at "Stargazer hissed, disgusted." If you did want to still add "fury", you could say something like "Fury edged his tone." Overall, just a minor detail that you don't have to fix, but that's just a thing you could consider if you go back to edit.

"You do not understand my Starrier."

There should be a comma after "understand".

"Why me," Stargazer snarled, tail lashing teeth bared with burning fury.

Two things--"Why me" should end with a period, not a comma, and "fury" is repetitive from the first paragraph. You may consider replacing the word with another, such as:
-rage
-ferocity
-intensity

We all must do that at one time or another-least we end up regretting it...

"Least" doesn't make sense here. Perhaps you meant something else? I would go back and maybe correct this to what you meant to say as to not confuse future readers.

Memories of pain flickered in his eyes as he gazed at the sky, as though moons and moons of pain stretched across it.

"Pain" is used much more than it could have been here. Again, remember that you can also use other words.
Great sources to find alternative words are a dictionary, or Thesaurus.com.
(I've found the latter is extremely helpful. Don't tell anyone I said that lmfao)

...but no being no matter what they did, is undeserving of compassion.

This blurb here did not make sense to me. Were you trying to say that humans are deserving of compassion even after what they did to Stargazer? If so, you need to get that across instead of making the sentence contradict what the leader had just said about how Stargazer must forgive the humans.

Slowly Stargazers anger drifted away.

"Stargazers" should be corrected to "Stargazer's" as in "belonging to Stargazer" instead of the plural form of "Stargazer."

"...for sacrificing your believes for this humans life."

A couple things--"believes" needs to be corrected to "beliefs." That's the correct term. There also is a missing apostrophe in "humans". It should be "human's."

He thought, then as though to answer his question, the stars seemed to shine brighter. An awed sense of peace came across him, as a shooting star flashed across the sky. Stargazer shivered as a sense of wonder crawled down his spine. Is that a yes? He wondered. He shook himself and turned away from the sky, and headed towards his ship. Stargazer's Spacecraft looked like an orange egg with its elliptical shape, and huge window, which sat in the front of the ship.

Your imagery here is truly marvelous. It really caught my eye and made me smile. Well done.

The planet swirled with colors of blue green red and white like a marble. It was breathtakingly stunning.

It sounds stunning after reading that. Another beautiful place of description and imagery. You've made Earth sound like a wonderland. On the technical side, you've missed a few commas.
Instead of "blue green red and white"
Commas can be added in-- "blue, green, red, and white like a marble."

"I've reached Earth Moonbeam"

A comma between "Earth" and "Moonbeam" should be placed.

{ Most of the technical issues I'm not going to point out from now on. I think from what I've given you so far you'll be able to figure out what may help your writing through the rest of the story. }

I did find that you were missing a lot of punctuation marks at the end of your dialogue. That's a crucial issue. If you don't close the sentence, it continues to go on forever, therefore swallowing the rest of your short story into one sentence. I'd say that would be a bit of a run-on, wouldn't you? xD

Overall, nice work. A few things to go back and look at, but your description is marvelous. I enjoyed this read.

Thanks for sharing,

Londone




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Wed Apr 18, 2018 12:47 am
EverLight says...



Let me know if I missed a comma or mispelled a word. Thank you.





Follow your inner moonlight; don't hide the madness
— Allen Ginsburg