z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Suki the Hedgehog [One]

by Kanome


A/N: I have been thinking about doing this fanfiction project for a while now. I always wanted to know what kind of plot I would write if I create my own character in the Sonic world. Here it is! The first chapter! Hope everyone will like it. It took some planning.

Let me tell you about my OC!

Her name is Suki the Hedgehog. She is a purple hedgehog with emerald eyes. She has long quills which resembles long hair. She wears a white dress with emerald boots. Like every Sonic character, she wears white gloves. Enjoy!

~~~

Chapter One: Suki the Hedgehog

Suki opened her emerald eyes slowly as her vision became clear in front of her. She rubbed her head gently as she sat up from the cold, hard and rocky ground. She looked around her, seeing that she is inside a small cell of some sorts. She looked down at her hands and noticed that something was different about her, but she didn’t know what. She stood up from the ground and walked towards the cell, looking at different robots that were built in the room. She placed her hands around the cell bars, confused onto what was going on.

“Ah. You finally woke up.” A man wearing his red and black attire with his mustache stretched out started to walk in front of the cell, glaring down at Suki.

“W… Who are you?”

“Me? I am Dr. Eggman! And you, my dear, I captured you for a great purpose.”

“Purpose? What purpose?”

“For the chaos emeralds, of course.”

“Chaos… Emeralds?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t know what they are. They’re the very thing that will help me take over this world. You are the key to finding them.”

“I… I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

“Hmm… either way, you will remain my prisoner until I say otherwi-”

Eggman was interrupted by an explosion near him. Suki covered her face behind her arms, lowering one of them down to see what has happened. She noticed a figure. A blue figure to be exact, it was moving fast as the blue figure hit against Eggman.

“Not you again!”

“Awh. I thought you’d be happy to see me, Eggman!” The blue revealed himself to be the fastest thing alive. Sonic the Hedgehog. Suki stared at Sonic, still confused onto what was happening around her. She was captured because she was suddenly the key into finding the chaos emeralds, which she knows nothing about. Sonic noticed Suki staring at him. He tilted his head then shook it. “You are capturing girls now, Eggman? That’s kind of bad, don’t you think?”

Eggman did his evil laugh. “She is the key into finding the emeralds! Of course I would use her to my advantage.” He laughed once again.

Next thing Suki knew, Sonic was holding her in his arms princess style, out of the cell. “You don’t say?”

Eggman noticed that Suki was out, which left him dumbfounded. “What?!”

“See ya!” Sonic dashed out of Eggman’s lair, heading towards Green Hill. As he kept running, he looked down at Suki, who seemed to be lost in thought.

“You okay?”

“H… Huh? Oh. Yes.” Suki averted her eyes away from Sonic’s gaze.

“So what was Eggman talking about?”

Suki shook her head. “I don’t know. I can’t really remember anything…”

Sonic tilted his head as he came to a complete stop in front of a building. He gently placed Suki down on the ground, looking down at her. “Either way. I’m just glad you’re okay! I’m Sonic. Sonic the Hedgehog.”

“... Suki the Hedgehog. Thank you for saving me.”

“It’s no problem! Would you like to meet my friend? This is his shop right here.”

“Oh uhh… sure.”

Sonic and Suki walked into the shop, seeing the tinkering fox at work. Miles ‘Tails’ Prower, Sonic’s best friend and one of the best mechanics around. Tails looked up and saw Sonic and Suki coming inside his shop. Suki was looking around at the different gadgets hanging around, then she noticed Tails coming up to her. Tails analyzed her then tilted his head. “I never seen you around before.”

“She was captured by Eggman, but as usual, his plan failed.”

“Eggman? What did Eggman want with her?”

“He said something about… uhh… her being the key to finding the chaos emeralds.”

“The key?” Tails glared at Suki once more, placing his chin in between his index finger and thumb. He then closed his eyes, lost in thought. He then opened his eyes again moments eyes, smiling at Suki. “Either way, you’re safe now, uhh…”

“Suki…”

“Ah! Well, my name is Miles Prower. But you can call me Tails.” He held out his hand to her as she returned the gesture, smiling at him.

“Nice to meet you, Tails.”

Suki and the others were sitting around a table in Tails’ shop, discussing on to how and why would Suki be the key and more importantly, why has her memory been erased. Suki looked out the window, wondering why this was all happened to her, but at the same time, she was glad to have met new friends.

~~~

Suki was walking around Green Hill, taking in the scenery. She sighed softly as she looked up at the blue sky, thinking on how to go on from here. First, she was captured by Eggman, and now she was here with Sonic and Tails. She told them she didn't remember much and that, according to Eggman, that she was the key into finding the chaos emeralds.

"You okay?" Suki turned around and noticed Sonic standing there with a worried look on his face.

“Yes, I’m fine. It’s just… ah, nevermind. Did you need something, Sonic?”

Sonic rubbed the back of his head, chuckling softly. “Was hoping to see if you want to come with us?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, if Eggman is looking for the emeralds, then he is definitely up to something. And well, uh…”

“You need my help finding these… emeralds?”

Sonic nodded as Tails came walking, passing Sonic. “That is, only if you want to. Eggman claimed you’re the key to finding them, so if this is true, maybe you can help. We can even help you restore your memories!”

“My memories?”

“You said you didn’t remember much before all this happened, right? Is it possible that you might’ve lost your memories?”

“Maybe… I don’t know.”

Tails and Sonic looked at each other, than looked back at her as Sonic placed a hand on her shoulder gently, smiling at her. “We can help each other out. Also, I can protect you!”

Tails glared at Sonic. “That is a bold statement you just made…”

“Wha? How is that bold? I’m just being me.”

Suki smiled softly as she looked at the two. “Sure. I’ll tag along.”

“Really?” Sonic couldn’t contain his excitement.

“Of course. You guys helped me, so I am returning the favor.”

“Awesome. So… you ready to go?” Sonic held his hand out to her, smiling. She placed her hand over his, gripping each other’s hands softly as they headed back to Tails’ shop. Suki started to think to herself once again, squeezing Sonic’s hand a little tighter than before. Sonic noticed the grip of her hand as he looked down at her. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“What? Oh. I’m fine. Really…”

Suki couldn’t bring herself to tell him about her issues. She hoped that once she has her memories back, then everything would make sense. Once they reached back to the shop, Tails pulled down a sheet, revealing his X Tornado. Suki was in awe by the sight of it.

“This is the X Tornado. It’s not as fast as Sonic but it can keep up. You can ride with me for the time being.”

Suki nodded as Tails grabbed her hand and hovered over the one of the seats in the Tornado, placing her in it gently. Tails went to the pilot seat, starting up the plane. “Ready when you are, Sonic!”

“Alright! Let’s go fast!” Sonic started running out of Green Hill as Tails followed. Suki looked down at the running hedgehog and smiled. 


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121 Reviews


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Sun Jul 01, 2018 6:21 pm
manilla wrote a review...



Forgive me for not having introduced myself previously to the world of Sonic.

--

Hi, Manilla here for a review. Let's get right into it, shall we?

Since I'm not the first reviewer and the other users have covered that already, I won't be focusing too much on nitpicks. A proper revision session could catch some of them, but I see why you don't. They're painful :')

Pretty much all the sentence starters are "She", meaning Suki. I feel like you could involve more complex sentences, involving more telling of Suki's perspective than showing what's going on around her. For example...

She stood up from the ground and walked towards the cell, looking at different robots that were built in the room.


"Shakily, Suki stood up from the ground and walked towards the perimeter of her cell, gazing at the robots built in the room."

I'm sure you know that in writing, it's all about the details, and you need to make sure you include plenty of those as the story progresses. Stories are critical for making your world believable and appealing to the reader, even though this is targeted towards Sonic fans who have an understanding of that already.

You could also include larger sums of text that provide more insight on Suki's emotions, because I feel like you overlook her personality and focus more on the general ideas. Don't make them dumps of information, but you could place them so that the reader could accumulate understanding as they read on.

"Once they reached back to the shop, Tails pulled down a sheet, revealing his X Tornado. Suki was in awe by the sight of it."


What was her awe like physically? Did her eyes widen, did she tilt her head up to stare at it? Describe the X Tornado itself!

Last but not least, give people more context on the world of Sonic (relates to adding details.) This was a sweet and happy work, and putting more work into it could really make the Sonic world more interesting! We'll see what Suki can do.

-Manilla out
(Feel free to disregard any comment you deem unhelpful or rude. That was not my intention.)




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Sun Jul 01, 2018 4:47 am
SirenCymbaline wrote a review...



This was a fun little story. It did actually feel kinda like watching an episode of Sonic X.

I'll get the annoying nitpicks out of the way early. One, 'blue figure to be exact, it was moving fast as the blue figure hit against Eggman.' is redundant. Two, the final sentence is cut off halfway through, I'm sure that was a mistake.

The canon characters are really in character, especially Eggman, good job with that.
Suki as an OC doesn't really have much of a discernable personality going on, sorry.
At the moment she's kind of just a walking plot device that goes wherever the breeze blows her.

I'd also like a bit more plot than just 'Eggman wants Chaos Emeralds, Suki has some kind of connection to them.' Eggman always wants the Chaos Emeralds, the fun part is what weird shenanigans does he want to pull off with them this time?
And there is the plot of Suki's amnesia, but the bulk of that thread has been saved for chapter two.

I know the point of chapter one is more of establishment of character and setting than plot, but I don't know anything about Suki except that she has amnesia and some connection to the Chaos Emeralds. I know that amnesia is a nice shiny excuse to not have to explain everything at the beginning, but ya still gotta sell me on her personality if you want me to care about her backstory.

Anyway, it's an exciting story, I'm interested in seeing where you're taking this, I'll be tuning in for chapter two.




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Sat Jun 23, 2018 2:59 pm
zaminami says...



((What did Suki look down on at the end?))

Also

gOTTA GO FAST




Kanome says...


What the heck? I need to fix that xD



zaminami says...


Yeah lol

I'll review this if its still in the green room in a few days.



Kanome says...


I have fixed it lel @izanami




Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose.
— Lyndon B. Johnson