pennyflipper comes around,
spots some copper on the ground
building up, and luck is bound
to smile at him with upside downed:
a silly superstition
since copper dropped is copper lost;
the face which lands by chance when tossed
is chosen when all choice has crossed
the point of last transition
—
yet pennyflipper still feels bound
to pick that penny off the ground,
turn Abe Lincoln's face around
in hopes he can ill luck confound
through simple reposition.
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139,463 Literary Works • 672,570 Reviews
honsetly I find that it's so hard to find good poetry here, good poetry that flows and can use a rhyme scheme that doesn't make me want to punch my own face, and you've managed it! The piece is cute, simplistic, but very well written. Often times rhyme schemes trip the reader up but you've employed this whymiscal, almost nursery rhyme like style that had me rushing to the end (and so short an end, left me wanting more, though it is the perfect length as is)
i may suggest addind AND before "turn abe lincoln" and cutting the comma beforehand, to me this ties the words together rather than the comma to turn transition.
all in all, a solid piece. well done
This is cute, and I like that you made a poem about something silly and rather insignificant (someone finding a penny) into something fun and interesting. A little idea to make a big thing. One thing I disliked, majorly, was the lack of punctuation. I've heard there are poems written with no or little punctuation, but personally...I find it MUCH better with punctuation. It's easier and more pleasurable to read, and makes the actual CONTENT of the poem stand out a whole lot more. I find, when I read a poem with no punctuation, or only some, it really irritates me, and I find myself thinking about the technical points of the poem, rather then the actual poem. Anywho.
So as I said, I liked this, but I think you should clean up the punctuation, and maybe try rewording some of the first stanza, as I got a little lost in the last few lines of the first stanza. Also, you could divide the stanzas a bit better, they just don't look neat or 'pretty' right now. Cute, cute poem though!
I like it. It's short, sweet, and fun to read. The rhythm and rhyme give it a special beat that makes it enjoyable as well. Nice job.