Heya, Kyllorac! Casanova here to do a review for you! I'll be taking this stanza by stanza, so I hope you don't mind. Anyway, to the review!
The first stanza-
i grew up burning trash
in a pit built of old farmhouses
and walls that had caved in
worn away by winter snows
I feel like you could have left out the part,"worn away." You've established that the walls have caved in, good. Now just keep that flowing. The,"worn away," makes me think the paint or the siding is gone but the wall itself is still standing, and I didn't like the switch. Overall these lines are strong, so I give you props for that.
The second stanza-
we used to haul the plastic bags out
and drench them in kerosene
that was too old to use in the indoor stove
I have nothing bad to say about these lines. I think you use the narration good, and I love the imagery here.
The third stanza-
i still can hear the hiss of the match
struck on a stray chunk of slate
and smell the wavering vapors casting shadows on the grass
The only thing I didn't like about this was the,"Casting shadows on the grass," bit. You're saying smells. Good, now give us what it smells like, instead of what it does. Make us smell that, as I think it would be better to describe the smell rather than the site of it. You would barely notice the shadow if you were intent on what you were doing.
The fourth stanza-
feel the whoosh of the flames as they catch the plastic
and consume frost's poetry—
not everything we burned was trash
to me
These lines felt to be the best out of the poem, and I think you ended this on a strong note. So I give you props for that.
Anyway, that's all I have to say on this poem and I hope it helped.
Keep on doing what you're doing and keep on keeping on.
Sincerely, Matthew Casanova Aaron
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Reviews: 624
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