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Realm
reborn,Facades of light.
Joy and Sorrow - Woe besight.
Arching
ebony, lust and greed,
Tears
of tempest, solemn retrieve.
Creviscing
reminisce, shallow chaffeurs,
Baked and broken, like friskets -
premier;
Blackest
moss, bluest goss,
Carving echoes, lechered begots
Tattering
Taverns, mistful sites,
Broken caverns, brittled spites
Evening
sattire, dawn and dusk,
Chainful raptures, solemn respite
Gasps
and gowns, shuttering eyes
Closing lies, shattering wides
"Thou Hast Fallen unto Forlorn Drudgery", chides the dwarf of untimely might.
Ceremonised
paths, Divas of Masks
Clasping
trinkets, all shattered aghast.
Left and Lonely, fettered alas!
Casting
Shades, Of Light and Lass.
Ending chapter, Thy Shan't Pass
Of
Past and Present,a wrapped Alore - of a cellared abyssal, tethered
amour.
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140,706 Literary Works • 673,672 Reviews
Hello there, I like your poem it is really nice and neat. I like the way it rhymes and organize into stanzas. But what does this mean: ""Thou Hast Fallen unto Forlorn Drudgery", chides the dwarf of untimely might." Why do you put a quote? And why you put commas? These are the question i wonder and thank you for reading my review. Keep writing and HAPPY WRITING!!!
I picked up the comma thing from a novel I read. It's kind of like a declaration or a saying.
Sometimes I notice the same effect in some of Shakespeare's works (As You Like It) which I read in my high school.
Hello! I think this is a spectacular work of art.
I was a bit confused when you used dialogue though. I know it can be done in a poem, I am just not used to it.
You used breathtakingly sly phrases.
As I read this, I felt as if I was reading one of Emily Bronte's classic literatures.
This was very sweet, but I kinda want it to be a book, too.
It was slightly confusing. There is just enough description, but be careful, it is ALMOST too much. I mean, we were here, we were there, some parts of it needed more time.
Anyways, I hope this was helpful.
Waffle~
Hey there. Thanks for the kind words. I really appreciate it. It's the first time someone has said something nice about my poems.
And thanks for the mention of Emily Bronte. Gonna look up her works now and read them a bit. xD
You are so welcome! Yes, Emily Bronte was a great poet, and she worte a popular book called Wuthering Heights. I think you can learn alot from her unique, wimsicle (however you spell that) writing style.
Waffle~