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by Kaitlin
  • January 1, 2011
  • Poetry
  • Other
  • Poetry
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Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
ehte92
Review
ehte92 wrote a review · Tue Jan 04, 2011 6:15 am

DAMN.... :D
It is the word of the day for me... :)
Great piece.... Very impressive...
Keep up the good work... :)

User avatar
Button
Review
Button wrote a review · Sun Jan 02, 2011 3:48 am

I love this- how you punctuated the last bits with "damn" and were so creative in your descriptions and andorbut-ing. Excellent piece altogether. :)

Some Nitpicks:
The descriptions of the adjectives seemed oddly specific to me in color and everything, and felt like they could have been more ambiguous. Which is weird. I never say stuff like that. But... I feel like they're too limited if they're all the adjectives. Just my opinion though.

I think the dash after "nouns" might be better as a comma.

And in the parantheses, Oh damn, the adjectives escaped part, I was wondering where they escaped to. We know they were already loose in the kitchen- did they leave the house completely?

Anyways- done. Those are really, really minor things, and I'd like to say, again, that I loved this. Excellent job, as usual. :)


-Coral-



Love is not an emotion. Love is a promise.
— 12th Doctor