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138,179 Literary Works • 672,080 Reviews
You're one of my new favorites, and you should change nothing.
'Nuff said.
Dear Kaitlin,
Your poem is great! Continue writing poems like this. There is no punctuation mistake, but like TheWalkinDude said, it's best to avoid the question mark, if you are going to write poems like that. Well, anyways, your poem is wonderful.
Keep reading and reviewing!
vstarfirix
P.S. Did you really write this poem?
To be completely honest, I see nothing that needs to be changed or fixed. My only problem is the lack of capitalization and punctuation, but that's just because I'm a grammar Nazi and am intense about correct grammar. Anyways, a few problems or things I thought were off were how you numbered each stanza. I mean, since you kept in consistent it's nothing really major, but it's still funny to look at. It causes an unnecessary pause after each stanza when the reader could just keep going and not stop, thus keeping the rhythm established flowing well. My other problem was that although you lack any punctuation throughout the majority of this poem, you still added a question mark after the first line in the second stanza. Why? If you are doing a poem in this style, maybe it'd be best to avoid questions all together.