Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and mature content.
(added hyphens in between paragraphs cause the website's formatting is a bit finicky.)
The first time they’d met was at the gas station where he worked. It was late at night. She’d had mephedrone and weed. Lots of it.
There was a scratching sound coming from the back, near the dumpsters, and a low groaning. Matias came out the back door and saw her. She took a little longer to see him. When she did, her face went through several emotions in succession, like a television skipping channels, before she settled on a curious half-smile.
“Hi there,” she’d said. “You look pretty. Nice shirt.”
He’d squatted down and asked her name.
Her expression instantly went guarded, and she rudely told him to fuck off.
Over the course of fifteen minutes, he coaxed her home address out of her and drove her back to her parents.
That was months ago.
-
The second time was at the gas station again. It had been three weeks, and Matias had almost forgotten her gaunt face, her skinny fingers and odd twitches. Almost.
She was on heroin, ecstasy, and weed.
Her face popped out without warning, in the window next to the counter. He shouted out in surprise and almost fell over. She slipped out of sight and all Matias heard while he recovered himself was mad, gleeful cackling.
Her clothes were dirtier than before. Her hair was less neat, her eyes more wild.
He’d left the counter and marched outside, questions ready to storm out of his mouth. She answered with a wide grin on her face, oddly polite. Called him ‘mister’. He told her his name. Matias Caraballo. All she gave was ‘Bell’.
Giving hurried apologies to his boss, Matias got Bell in his car and once again returned her home.
-
The third time was outside his apartment, two months later.
It was heroin and cocaine.
Somehow, she’d tracked him down, and he heard her shrieking curses at him at three in the morning, wearing nothing but a bra and shorts.
She blamed him for her problems. She refused stop yelling unless he let her in his house. When he said no, she started screaming at the top of her lungs, loud enough to wake up the entire neighbourhood, which didn’t really give him a choice.
He stopped her, dragged her in and asked her why she was there.
She said she’d been kicked out of home.
He took her to the West Palm Beach Rehabilitation Center.
That was a month ago.
Since then, she’d returned to his place two more times. He’d dragged her back to rehab two more times. And now she was here again. Except this time, she was sober, mostly.
-
Her head was bowed, eyes stuck on the welcome mat, lip trembling. “Sorry,” she said, and Matias bit back the angry words he had waiting on his tongue. He switched them for calmer ones.
“Why do you keep coming back here?” he said.
“I-I’m sorry for making you drive me back to my home, and then to the rehab, and then yelling at you when-”
“Bell.”
She looked up. “Huh?”
“Why are you here again?”
Her mouth opened and closed a couple times. “Let me live with you. Please.”
There was a pause. Matias blinked at her, and her words came out in a rush, scrambling to explain themselves. “I-I don’t any money, I dropped outta high school, I fucked up with drugs, I know – I got nowhere else to go, all I need is a few days so I can get my shit together – I won’t be any trouble, I mean it – please, I’m sorry…” She trailed off as she ran out of things to say, staring up at him. Matias stared back at her, mouth hanging slightly ajar. Won’t be any trouble. Yeah, he didn’t believe that for a second.
“Why me?” he asked. “What makes you think I’ll say yes?”
“Y-you’re the only person I know,” she said. “And… you’re nice.”
“Huh?”
“I was at the homeless shelter for a bit. I saw you helping people there. I didn’t approach you because… you know.”
Matias kept staring at her, taking it all in. Ripped jeans and a dirty, stained sleeveless shirt. Long, matted dirty blonde hair. Shaking arms that were hugging her body to keep warm. The smart thing to do would’ve been to tell her to piss off right then and there, but a small voice in his head whispered, hey, she’s cute. Matias quickly kicked that voice in its figurative gut and shoved it down, but the thought stayed. After standing there for a full ten seconds he sighed at himself, and, knowing full well that he was going to regret it, opened the door wider and stepped aside.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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Hi there! Bookish here with a quick review.
Firstly, due to the subject matter I would have thought that perhaps an 18+ warning would have been more appropriate due to the very difficult topics covered such as heroin addiction. Which, as I'm sure you are fully aware, is not a light topic.
The suspense in this piece was very well crafted and I loved the way that it stopped and started as the story progressed. I would have really liked it if the story was longer and if you had perhaps expanded on the main character of Matias a bit more.
The dialogue also flowed very well and it would have been nice to see more interactions and perhaps a conversation between the parents.
Altogether it's a very well written piece and I can't really find any points which I can fault. Thank you for writing this.
I love the drama and the time in between paragraphs. It was also kind of funny each time you describe what drugs she was on each time she came to is house. My favorite part was of course the end where he is just like I know I am going to regret this, but hey she's cute. He seems like a good person who is just in a screwed up situation and I really hope she does get herself together because it would suck if he did actually end up regretting it. I loved the sentences, "Won’t be any trouble. Yeah, he didn’t believe that for a second." I could just feel his disbelief and it was ironic when she wouldn't be any trouble because most of the readers are just assuming she is just a trouble maker. I loved it and keep up the good work.