Warning: This work has been rated 16+.
Hey there, normal person. I have a question for you.
Have you ever been alone before?
I don’t mean alone as in sitting by yourself in a doctor’s waiting room. Because you have all your friends on your phone, ready to talk to at an instant’s notice – and when you walk out of those doors, you know you have family waiting for you at home.
I mean alone.
Alone as in always being the odd one out in class. Alone as in never being anyone’s first choice. Alone as in people don’t even look at you.
You just weren’t good enough. You weren’t funny, you weren’t cheerful, you weren’t encouraging.
So you learn to deal with it. You develop a thick skin, an immunity to sidelong glances and shallow insults. You learn to live by yourself and stay in your room when you get home and you don’t talk to anyone. When you fail it’s your own damn fault and when you succeed there’s nobody to share it with. When you’re feeling sad you have nobody to talk to and when you’re happy there’s nobody to be happy with. Nobody to confide in, nobody to comfort you, just you. You become withdrawn and isolated, a social outcast, a weirdo that nobody likes to even think about. Well, most people. Some people tried. They saw you sitting by yourself one day and decided to come and talk to you.
But you’re just not good enough.
Someway, somehow, every single person that has tried to connect with you is gone. You just fuck it up every time. You say something wrong. They say something wrong. There’s a misunderstanding that could be fixed with a simple talk but you’re too damned stubborn to do anything because that’s just how you are. You leave them. They leave you. You put on this façade, pretend that you’re completely fine – and most of the time, you actually are fine. You’ve lived with this for so long that you can barely even feel it any more. You can barely even feel anything any more. But sometimes, when there’s nothing to do – no books to read, no games to play, no stories to write, no way to escape your thoughts, your brain gets up and reminds you of reality: you’re alone.
Just you. Alone. Sitting in your chair at 5:30 in the morning after trying and failing to sleep. You’ve always been alone, you are alone right now, and you always will be alone. People used to be there for you before, but you fucked it up. People are trying to be there for you now, but you don’t want them. Being alone has turned you into an arrogant, lazy, selfish, uncaring thing that nobody really wants. You almost pride yourself on it. You ask for pity where you deserve none. But that’s not the worst part.
The worst part is, you still feel nothing while writing this.
Go play some videogames.
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140,073 Literary Works • 673,000 Reviews
Hey Jyva. I'm Nozomi and I'll be reviewing your work today.
This was indeed an exceptional piece, it was odd yet thrilling to read. The pure emotions pouring themselves out of each and every word was almost too much to bear. Clearly, you have written this work with the intentions of expressing your own emotions or rather, you have close experience of someone suffering in this silence.
The feeling of being alone was captured and preserved brilliantly here, but not only that, you could really feel that the person was so accustomed to the harsh treatment that they just found it to be second nature.
Also, there was one mistake I found when reading this; the concept of this written piece is conversational and yourself as the narrator (or the anonymous narrator?) was speaking directly to an invisible audience; however, at the end in the line {"The worst part is, you still feel nothing while writing this"} you wrote "writing" instead it should be "reading".
In regards to the very last sentence {"Go play some video games"} I found it somewhat hard to grasp the concept. Is it implying that despite such an emotional barrier, people will still continue to stick to their old ways? And rather than working to achieve a better life for themselves, they will prevent any change from happening?
Overall, this was a wonderful piece! Good Job,
~ Nozomi
This was an interesting piece of writing. I'm not really sure what to say. This seems full of anger and hate. Like this has happened or is happening to you and you can't bear it anymore. I think you captured the idea of feeling alone perfectly and the emotion in this piece was evident. The language is a bit off putting though. Some people don't say things like F or damn. Some people choose not to read writing with such language in it. I understand, this piece is meant to be meaningful and emotional. But sometimes language doesn't help. I also don't get the final two sentences. You have been writing this as if you're talking about the reader but then you say the reader is feeling nothing whilst writing this. This changes quickly and doesn't quite make sense. And telling one to go play videogames seems irrelivent to the piece. This is merely my opinion. However, despite some confusions and stuff this was well written. Your grammar is good, as is your spelling. I liked this. I hope to read more from you in the future.