Like a bird with no wings,
I stare at the sky and sigh.
For there I yearn to be,
And here I’m doomed to lie.
If only I could be borne aloft,
By the music my heart sings.
But no,
I stare at the sky, and sigh,
Like a bird with no wings.
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Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Hahahaha, very interesting poem you have written my friend. sorry i laughed, but i find it funny for a bird with no wings. the tittle is very interesting and catchy. one thing i love about this poem is that, its very short and exquisite. i love it.
but there is something i think i should help you check out here. the statement "If only I could be born aloft" i think the 'born' should be replaced with "borne" this is because if i'm correct born is a verb which in most cases refers to giving birth, while borne means to lift or to carry.
please check this well before adopting anything.
never stop writing my friend. keep this up....
Thank you for the review!
Hi ole girl!
Hiraeth here to give a short review.
So, I love the theme of this poem; it connects very well to young adults (and by that, I mean it connects very well to me, myself and I). I like the literary devices you used, like the alliteration of "sky and sigh", and though little things like these may go innoticed by the general reader, it goes a long way to make the poem sound nice, so keep up the good work!
Just a little nitpick here, a tiny error that I noticed:
The 'born' you used here is incorrect, it should be 'borne.' Born is a verb that in most cases refers to birth, however, borne means something along the lines of "to carry" or "to lift, carried."
then the third-last, you wrote "No."
Now, this is just a matter of personal opinion, and obviously, you can just ignore this, but I think it would sound better if you added something like "But No."
Other than those tiny pricks, this poem is perfect, I simply love it.
Keep writing, i hope to read more!
Thank you for the review!!! ^-^
Hi, justlittleoleme2!
My understanding:
Reading this poem made me feel 'Human'
We are born with amazing talents; Some are born with visibly actual wings and they know how to fly. To Some wings are invisible to their eyes even though capable to fly they haven't.
Some have wings but flightless birds. Yet, everyone is a bird with wings. But we imagine not the affirmative.
The poem is of short but conveyed not only huge meaning to me. But made me ask numerous questions to myself. I saw the depth of the poem. I was on the same page of the speaker felt the longing to fly...achieve but stay idle letting the time pass questioning out capability.
This is the mindset of 80% of youngsters, it's amazing that you put this fact as a poem.
Enjoyed the read! Keep writing thought-provoking poems like this, you have got a knack for this. Looking forward to more of your works
Good morn/nyy!
Thank you for the review!
And thanks for understanding the heart and meaning behind it. ^-^
You're welcome
I enjoyed reading this one.
Happy Writing!