My walls have seen a lot.
They've watched pain and anguish settle in the corners. They've seen the shades of sad, of happy, of angry.
I don't know what words they would keep; they would only feel the heavy ache.
They've stood through late nights and sudden rage, through the quiet shattering of breakups and lost friendships.
They've held diary entries pressed against them and caught the muffled sounds of yelling.
Under this pressure, this thick tension,
these walls would crack and break down.
They could never take it.
Yet I can. I have to be strong—
I was taught to hold the weight.
I envy the walls.
They were simply made that way,
unfeeling and unbothered.
They don't understand.
They never could,
because they aren't human.
I wish I didn't have to understand either.
I wish I could turn away from the sharp looks
and tune out the low whispers. I wish I was like the walls;
Strong.
Free.
Normal.
If these walls could talk...
but they can't.
And they never will.
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141,044 Literary Works • 673,935 Reviews
There’s some really great personification here. The concept of giving something as simple of walls such depth and character is really cool and something I’ve hadn’t quite seen before. I think you could use some more colorful words for emotions other than “happy” “sad” maybe like “delight” or “despair” or you could go as far as to not keep it as a single word and maybe do something like “they’ve seen energetic bursts of shades of delight, the glooming dark shades of sorrow” just add some of that detail spice 😔👌
I think overall you could use more interesting detail words instead of just happy, yelling etc to give it more of that edge that’ll immerse the reader even more. I’d recommend you take the really good personification you did for the walls and extend it to feelings and emotions. Maybe something like “the walls heard the cheerful sings of joy, and the crashing rumbles of furry and despair” cause we writers love being extra.
I love how this story encapsulates the feeling of when you hyper focus on seemingly random things when you’re in depressed mindset. I often find myself when I’m dealing with strong negative emotions staring and focusing my gaze on random things in my room like my doorknob or that piece of chipped off paint on my nightstand. So having someone who’s dealing with mental hardships focus on random things like the walls felt quite real to what people tend to do. This overall is quite a unique concept and I think one of the signs of a great writer is being able to take something as simple as the walls in our room and turn it into a genuinely interesting story and you’ve succeeded.
AHEEMEM COUGH COUGH COUGH I will review for cookies
Anyhoo this is an interesting poem to me. It's also relatable, as my walls have seen things, thing's I'm not proud of.
Artistic choice is a thing of course, however I feel that you could use more colorful words rather than the basic "Happy, sad, and angry." otherwise I do like this line quite a bit.
I like this ending, contradicting all the anxiety that goes into the poem, like, "ifs" are just imaginary. They're not real, so why do we think about them constantly?
Anyway, I hope this was a tad helpful!
Love,
~Kiki <3
Thanks, this was very helpful!
tee hee
Perhaps the end is just the first word of something new.🫂
the feeling of insecurity and anxiety within one’s head explained in a physical space. delicious and relatable.