True Forever

I am into these kinds of writing!! This was a great love poem!! I often write poems and songs like this, though I've never really shared them with others. They're mainly about my boyfriend and how I feel and all.
I have to say I don't think I can find anything wrong with this. If you'd like, you can make the five-line stanza a haiku. It's a cool type of poetry/writing. I can see the style and patterns used, as well as a slight repetition. But I like all that.
If you want to know what you could do for possible improvement:
1.) Maybe make it rhyme, like all the endings of the lines
2.) You made a mistake in the last line "Just please, Don't leave me ever." The third word should have an apostrophe and be lower-cased. Check for typos to improve it.
3.) You can change a few words, instead of repeating. Choosing different, higher-skilled vocabulary often increases the chance people will like it, so it doesn't seem childish.

Anyways, congratulations. I liked this piece of writing. Feel free to check out my work- catlover211 if you'd like.

Hey, yo, ILoveBooks123! Strange here on this wonderful review day and I have a review for you!

I am back again, this time with a little less bashing. However, I still do have a handful of problems with this poem. This follows the ever so common "true love" theme, which honestly gets redundant after a while. It's basically like reading the same poem over and over, you don't want that. A suggestion is to switch this up a little bit, to make it more different and quirky. Let's get into this, shall we?

This has some very elementary rhymes. I don't care whether poetry rhymes or not, but when it does rhyme, I do have higher expectations. It is harder to pull off, I can't deny that, but this feels too simple. Rhyme poetry should be a little bit unpredictable, and this wasn't. It went for the more common rhymes that make it look like its a cop out.

The theme is generic and unbelievable. Looking at your age, it seems too hopeful. Being thirteen and love lasting forever is a bit unrealistic. The most likely chance is than at it will all crash and burn. Relationships are hard to be in, and as much as you want it to last forever, it won't.

I would recommend switching up the rhyme scheme and theme. No, but seriously, it'll help it a lot. The last thing we want is a super predictable poem. Poets such as Whitman and Frost are loved for their style and distinct voice. They don't follow the same rules his, however, does and it gets on my nerves as a ready.

Keep writing, and stay groovy!

Hello!
So I decided that since I couldn't be here for review day yesterday, I'd look through the green room and 'sweep' it up a little. I agree with DevonThePoet, this is short and sweet. Great job!
I only had one little nitpick...

"Hearing I love you is a beautiful sound"

I think it should be-

"Hearing 'I love you', is a beautiful sound"

You may not have to add in that coma, but it sort of just came to me as I was typing it up.
Other than that, I thought this was a very nice poem! Great job, and keep writing!
~Snazzy
Stay Awesome
(by the way, I love books too. )

The poem is short and sweet. It follows a constant rhyme scheme, but you changed the scale at second verse. For the future I suggest keeping it at the same scale, but overall it is a great a poem. It made me smile.

The poem is short and sweet. It follows a constant rhyme scheme, but you changed the scale at second verse. For the future I suggest keeping it at the same scale, but overall it is a great a poem. It made me smile.

Awww, that was a really sweet poem. I like the last part especially.

Hey, ILoveBooks! My poetry reviews are never very long, but I'll try my best to help you out.

I stare at the window,
when you finally show.
I smile at you,
The first two lines connect, but then I think the second and third lines connect more. I stare at the window. When you finally show, I smile at you. I think it flows better that way, but of course it is your poem, so you decide.

I quickly wrap my arms around,
And you quickly did the same.
Quickly is overused in these lines, I suggest you take it out of one of them.

Your tenses are muddled up in some places, but I personally believe that it adds to the desperation of the narrator. They are so in love and never want their partner to leave them, by the way you've written it I can imagine them almost crying as they say this. Your emotions did come across well, just check on the few things I pointed out.

And most importantly, keep writing!