Sappy? Maybe, probably... But it is my promise, and the article I live by, even if it is simple. But, is it? Comments are much appreciated.
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140,596 Literary Works • 673,546 Reviews
I agree with everything Snoink said. She stole my whole review!
As for content, yes this sounds good, but can you really promise that last bit about never living without her?
A. S.
Hi J.R.S.!
Yes, it's sappy, but who doesn't love a sappy poem?
Look at this:
This seems to be set up kind of like an essay, in a way. So, you ask a question and then seek to answer it. I would probably get rid of the question, or set it up without the "to me" part, which is kind of redundant anyway.
Also, this part:
You say you have one thing to ask but... well... you never ask it. So, ask the question, darn it! Right now, it looks like you just stuck that line in there because you thought it sounded cool, but it's really quite awkward and strange!
In any case, Alyssa would probably go bonkers over this. Because hey, everybody loves to be loved!