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Loving Sad

by Hassanfs


At some point in their life, everybody has been sad.

They have cried.

They have lost themselves in a cocoon of apathy and gloom.

But do they like it?

I do

I love being sad.

There’s nothing to love about being sad.

But I love being sad.

Falling into the familiar pillow of misery and self pity.

Spending days hollowed up in the chasm of never-ending insecurities.

There is something comforting about giving into your fears.

Cleansing yourself in them.

I hate the romanticized aura that surrounds suicide. There is nothing beautiful about slitting open your wrists, splashing your spurting blood onto the pale bathroom tiles, feeling your life drain out of you. There is nothing liberating about standing over a ledge, pondering on where it all went wrong, and then taking the final leap. There is nothing peaceful about downing a bottle of sleeping pills, not because you want to sleep, but because you never want to wake up.

But then again, I’m not suicidal.

I’m not depressed.

I just love being sad.

Is that so bad?

Life is unfair.

Sooner or later, you’ll be spiraling down the stairway into a much loathed territory of somber and pessimism and sorrow. You wont be able to help it. Whether you like it or not, you will be down that road.

So why hate it.

Why not enjoy it.

Life is a bitch, but then so are you.

Bite back.

I love sad.

Not because she snogs me when i’m mopey.

But because she is always there when nobody else is.

Because sad is always there to help me.

Help me to pick up a book, tear it up and set it to fire.

Not because I need to, but because I want to.

Sad inspires me to type furiously into my computer, breaking the “F” key in the process. She floods away months of confusion and blank pages, amputating the plain ugly outgrowth that “writer’s block” has become.

You must be thinking that I’m one sorry piece of crap, but I don’t blame you.

Maybe because I am.

A

Sorry

Piece

Of

Crap

Or maybe you think that this is some kind of self therapy.

Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.

This thing that I started as an introspective piece on..well, things to be introspective about has managed to meander it’s way into the nothing. Fearing repetition, I would have ceased to force myself with this...whatever this is.

But no. I’ll go on with these musings of mine.

.

.

.

Ahh screw it. The ice cream’s melting.

I’m out.    


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Sun Jul 27, 2014 2:43 pm
ForsakenAngel wrote a review...



Hello there! I hope your day is going well.

Overall, I really like this. The point you're trying to make is clear, though at times it got repetitive. You're wording, though not spectacular, is still fairly good. Unfortunately, I did get a little tired of seeing the word "sad" throughout your work.

As it's been pointed out before, you can space it however you want, but I think you went a little overboard on the "enter" key rather than the "F" key. Normally you put a phrase by itself when you're emphasizing it or delivering the punch line. As it's written here, almost everything is set by itself. It doesn't look appealing to the reader.

Aside from a few punctuation some capitalization errors this is really a good piece! Keep up the good work and write on!

-ForsakenAngel




Hassanfs says...


Thanks!
Glad you understood the point I was trying to make. Yes I did go a bit overboard with the enter key, and I should have paragraphed it better.
Thanks again :)



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Sun Jul 27, 2014 1:35 am
Rosendorn wrote a review...



Hello.

I'm wondering why this is satire, to be perfectly blunt. Satire is meant to ridicule and shame the group being satirized, usually pointing out vices, and the end result of satire is to point out errors in order to drive people to improving those errors. It's not simply a piece of straight up discussion that turns comedic at the end with "the ice cream's melting." Satire often has sarcasm and is pointing out a problem with society, sometimes with an overblown solution to fix it (one piece of satire I read described how cannibalism tapped into primal instincts and should be used to replace war; this piece was compared to "A Modest Proposal", which proposed the way to fix poverty in London was to have the poor eat their own babies).

Your descriptions of sadness are apparently honest, with no hint they're exaggerated, sarcastic, or pointing out a problem. This seems more like a comedy piece as a result, which is a much different genre with much different expectations. If you are honestly trying to go for satire instead of comedy, study the satire genre in order to get this to work.

As for the content itself, outside of genre expectations.

It was fairly dry. You're going for a rapid fire delivery which loses effectiveness after awhile, and every sentence gets to be repeating itself over and over again. There's a line where repetition stops losing effect and instead gets boring, and it feels like you've crossed it. There's also how no line flows into the next until you get to the much denser paragraphs, and even then you drag in a repetitive sentence structure that doesn't let me get any beauty out of these words.

You've basically strung a bunch of similar statements together, go into a stream of consciousness that is difficult to follow, and finally throw in that "twist" at the end with the ice cream melting.

All in all, this piece feels like it lacked purpose and lacked any real goal. Even when writing something with no set format, having a goal and taking the time to make it interesting to read is important. I would've probably been able to get into this more had I not been so confused on your genre, but my points about the statements and repetition do remain even on a second read.

Hope this helps. Let me know if you have any questions or comments.

~Rosey




Hassanfs says...


Thanks for the review. I did not mean for this to be categorized as satire. The only reason I did so was because I myself was confused about what this was. If there was a genre titled "nothing", It would be perfectly apt for this. I wrote this in one go, without stopping to edit or re-think. So yep. This is very disorganized. It did have a goal, but it got lost as I wrote it on. I wouldnt call it entirely without purpose, as I think it did help describe the confusion that was grappling me while I wrote this (which probably wasnt the poitn anyways).
But thanks for review. It was really helpful :)



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Sun Jul 27, 2014 1:15 am
BluesClues wrote a review...



Hello, and welcome to YWS!

(And also: Good timing! Right before Review Day, you lucky dog.)

So, as a first draft, I think you've given yourself a good thing to work with. You have a main topic and several ideas that could be explored further if you want to go that direction. And you explicitly state that a) you are not suicidal and b) there is nothing romantic about suicide, which is a bit different in a piece about sadness and also keeps the message from going in a harmful direction.

I have two main suggestions for you, as a way to review this piece:

Experiment with different ways to break up your paragraphs. I mention this because, at the beginning, I thought this was a poem until I got to the first full paragraph--just a poem lacking in imagery or figurative language (at least at the opening). Upon reading the whole thing, I think you could put a lot of emphasis on important lines by putting some of your first sentences together into a paragraph. For example:

At some point in their life, everybody has been sad. They have cried. They have lost themselves in a cocoon of apathy and gloom. But do they like it?

I do

I love being sad.

There’s nothing to love about being sad. But I love being sad. Falling into the familiar pillow of misery and self pity. Spending days hollowed up in the chasm of never-ending insecurities. There is something comforting about giving into your fears. Cleansing yourself in them.


You can break it up however you want, but you can see in the example I decided to give "I do" and "I love being sad" emphasis by placing them on separate lines, since they are important sentences. Play around with your formatting and see what gives the best emphasis to the parts you think are most important.

Focus your writing. So you tell us toward the end that this started out as an introspective piece. I get that--I used to write like this all the time.

(Less so now.)

The thing about writing like this is, you come up with some good ideas and good sentences this way. "Life is unfair, so why hate it," "I love being sad," "here are some reasons I love being sad."

(On that note, have you considered the angle that sadness can give your life an illusion of significance? That some people like it because it seems to make them unique, even though that's actually crap because everyone experiences sadness, so what exactly is unique about it?)

But the problem with writing like this is that it often loses focus, as you did at the end of this piece, or has trouble finding focus. So if you want to take this to the next level and give it more gravity, a good idea would be to approach it a little like an essay.

(An essay? you say. The horrors!)

But hear me out. All you need to do is find the point of this particular piece of writing. I presume you've had plenty of practice doing that in school with essays: thesis statements. What do you think your thesis is here? Based on what I read, I would say it's something along the lines of, loving sadness is perfectly fine, especially since life throws so much of it at you.

If that is your point, work the piece back around so that it ends on that note. If your point is something else, take your writing in a different direction, maybe following the more "I am a sorry piece of crap" route to let the reader know that loving sadness is pathetic, instead. Whatever your point, find a way to bring the piece back to it so the reader is left with a sense of completion.

And if you don't know what your point is yet, just keep writing until you figure it out! That's the beauty of introspective pieces. If you don't know what you're trying to write about at the beginning, you can often figure it out just by writing more.

I hope this helps, and once again welcome to the site! If you have any questions, feel free to PM me.

~Blue




Hassanfs says...


I wrote this without thinking twice, and without even editing a single line of it.
But after I read it upon posting it, I did realise that it needed some serious paragraphing and rephrasing at some parts. When you talk about clarifying the point, I start doing an awkward 360. I dont know what my point was :P hahaha It started out as a random piece, just to vent out on. And somewhere along it lost direction became something entirely else. If this was anything, it was a draft for a short story i've had at the back of my mind. So..yeah. I'm as confused as the reader in this one :P
Thanks for the review. :)



BluesClues says...


Ha ha. Not a problem. Like I said, usually when I start writing an introspective piece it ends up that way anyway.



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Sun Jul 27, 2014 1:09 am
Elinor wrote a review...



Hello!

This is a really interesting piece. I'm not really sure what focus you're trying to take or how you would describe the composition of this (I guess that's why it's in other as opposed to prose or poetry) but or if you even were intending for this for this to be focused at all. I get it. Figuring out who we are and what it means to be human (among that, experiencing sadness) is so complicated and messy that no one has fully figured it out.

I like the theme and the message of this, and while it hits home for me it's too unfocused right now to have a lasting impact. Right now it reads like an entry in a free writing journal. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, as I've gotten a lot of my best ideas from free writing. But it should be refined. Give us a clear lead character whose arc we can follow as they muse over the meaning of life and pain.

Regardless of whether or not you want to make this more of a poem or a short story, I would definitely check out pieces that blur the line, or 'prose-poems' if you will.

Good luck. Again, I love the idea, it would just be amazing to see it refined! Don't hesitate to PM me if you have any questions.

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Hassanfs says...


Thanks for review :)
I wrote this in a flow, without looking back, and didn't even edit it.
I just wanted to get it out. Yes, it is unfocused. I think this was more of a point plant/draft thing for a short story I want to do, but I have yet to decide what exactly this is.
Thanks again.




I always knew that deep down in every human heart, there is mercy and generosity. No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.
— Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom