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Survival: The Escape, Chapter 20.5

by HarryHardy


The plant exploded in a shower of steaming, smelly liquid and the roots holding Harry instantly went limp. He didn't stop to think, scrambling to his feet.

"RUN AWAY FROM THE ACID!!" he yelled not care who or what would hear him. Pure adrenaline and instinct took over as the deadly liquid poured out of the remains of the plant, heading to them in a deadly river of death.

It was a mad dash, the girls being a few feet ahead, and the boys just a few centimetres from the liquid. Luckily this was a bit thicker than water, and after a few minutes of running, the acid stopped flowing, having spread out entirely and they slumped onto their knees at the sudden exertion.

"Let's try to avoid that happening again," managed Aria, once they'd all caught their breath to some extent.

"Yeah," said Harry, still holding his hand over his heart as it slowly came back to normal speed. Daisy had promptly engulfed him the moment they'd stopped and now he was taking a proper breather as Aria had called for them to all take five after their narrow escape.

“Let's get to that fence now,” said Ryan, doing something like a stage whisper as he tried to keep his voice low while making sure everyone heard him. "We've made so much chaos and noise, I don't know how we're going to slip through that part unnoticed, but at the very least we need to get to it."

It didn't take long for them to get there. The acidic slide had turned out to be a blessing in disguise as they'd inadvertently ended up running in approximately the right direction and the large seas of deadly liquid behind them had ensured nothing alive had been able to follow them. Even the light fear of guards approaching behind was long gone now. There was no chance the aliens could wade through that.

Soon, they were in front of the place they'd called "The Fence" in the information document provided. Contrary to the name, it was actually a wall, not quite as imposing as the massive inner wall but tall enough that they couldn't just climb over either.

"So, they didn't tell us how to get over this thing," said Aria, as they came to a stop in front of the solid metal and concrete contraption.

"From what I can see there's no good trees to use either," said Ryan, "they've been careful to trim the branches anywhere near to it. We're going to have to have to maybe find some dead branches and make a small climbing platform of some kind."

"Oh, I can help with that," said Kate, brightening up at having something besides shooting and running from things to do.

“Right, so we get to chopping some trees down quickly then,” said Harry.

“Well, not the trees, just looking for some branches,” said Aria, “We can’t exactly go punch down a tree here.”

“Good point, I wonder if we could shoot a tree down with these weapons,” said Harry, before realizing how ridiculous that sounded. "Sorry."

“Hmm, well let’s keep that for a last resource shall we? A few branches being broken is a lot quieter of a way to do something than having a giant tree fall on this fence. That might actually alert the guards near the gates,” said Aria.

“Ahh yes, well, branch breaking time,” said Daisy.

“Remember to keep an eye out for anything on those branches,” said Aria, “we’re not out of this place yet. I don't think I can handle seeing another lizard again.”

“Yes Captain,” said Harry, with a quick salute that made everyone crack a smile. Job successfully done, he made his way towards the shortest tree he could find. The lowest branches on it were about waist height but it didn’t quite look like it would be able to support their weight. That tree wouldn’t do. He looked around for something with slightly thicker branches.

Around him, he could already here someone whacking a branch with something and the sounds of branches snapping.


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Sat Nov 27, 2021 10:01 pm
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RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey Harry!

Randomtalks here with a short review!

Its three in the morning, and I am very tired, so excuse any typos you might find while going through this review!

That said, I really enjoyed reading this chapter. I know it isn't really over yet, and you have for sure, planned some massive cliffhanger for the actual end, but this did feel like an end to the 'plant scene', and I have to say I liked how you have executed this entire thing. It did give me some Harry Potter vibes, but there was this rush of excitement and danger presented in this particular escape that we hadn't really gotten until now. It was interesting to read wait and find out how they got out of this one. The acid idea was brilliant and it does solve a lot of problems for them, especially the problem of the guards who still might have been after them.

I did feel like the end of this scene came a little too abruptly. Its like we are completely immersed in what is going on and then suddenly its over. And while I really liked the conclusion you chose for this scene, I thought it happened too quickly. Especially the transition from barely escaping with their lives and making light jokes about breaking down trees seemed a little too haphazard to me and I think it would have been better if you had probably included this conclusion in the previous part and started with the 'fence' here.

Speaking of, the 'fence' does come on a little abruptly as well. I am sure we had not heard of it earlier, but then again, we really didn't knw anything about the forest from beforehand. They seem to have all the information from this 'mysterious document' everyone keeps mentioning, but I kind of like the fact that we are blind in here. Makes it more exciting when something goes wrong eventually and we don't see it coming beforehand.

One tiny nitpick:

he yelled not care who or what would hear him.

Just a slight typo - 'care' will be 'caring' here.

I am quite interested to see how they make this 'climbing platform'.

That's all!

Keep writing and have a great day!

Until next time!




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!

Yeah, this ending is a little abrupt. It's definitely I have to smooth over in the next draft. :D That scene in the middle was kind of awkwardly slid in very recently. :D



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Sat Nov 27, 2021 4:15 pm
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!!

That was a narrow escape. I really liked this part. It had that feeling of hurry in it besides providing the readers time to catch their breath. Anyway, let's get into it.

Okay so the plant exploded in a violent manner. Seems like the poison filled centre was the main part of the plant and when Harry blasted that off, the whole plant died. Things are acting in their favour, good sign it is. I am just a bit interested to know what the acid would have caused if they ran above it. I mean suppose the acid has spilled on the ground and they are running through the acid. The acid doesn't really touch their feet to cause any sort of trouble. Or were they afraid that it might cause some trouble to them? After all, they were not confirmed about what the acid could do. That can be a cause.

Now with the fence. I was actually a bit confused about the fence and what exactly happened. Like I didn't get any mention of fence earlier and didn't they kind of reached their target? I don't know at least I thought so that they reached the place where the vehicle was supposed to arrive. However, now it seems like they still didn't and is actually quite a bit away from reaching that place. Maybe I misunderstood the previous part which I am referring to. Who knows.

I never really understood it but after reading this, I am kinda sure that the aliens have their own path for travelling. They don't seem like beings who could tolerate that much troubles to get out and get in. Anyway, coming to the wall, it was an interesting thing in the plot. We have so many walls. I am quite interested to see if they can actually climb the wall. The bad thing is on the other side of the wall, there are aliens and if the humans make any loud noise, it will reach the aliens. And I think the wall is not high enough to prevent the aliens from coming to this side.

Hm... Another cliffhanger! I do wonder if the trees are actually the solution because the trees actually do not seem to be enough strong and above all, maybe there are unknown trees which can possess some sort of danger to them. That's a problem. Anddd now, was that a human being or... Some animal or aliens? I whole heartedly hope that whoever was doing that turns out to be a human. Let's see.

Keep Writing!

~Forever




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D

Hmm, yup, this route out is a little convoluted, and I don't fully explain it earlier so that I can surprise people in the chapters so its totally fine if its not immediately clear. :D



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Fri Nov 26, 2021 8:34 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Harry,

Mailice again here with a short review to share!

Like the acid of the plant, we also get lost in the aftermath here and it drags on until the end. (Dragging in a positive way). What I particularly liked here, and what made me read the whole chapter again, was the build-up of the plant to this point and the opening of a new plot point with the fence where they are now.

I think it could go more in the direction of describing what the fence is made of, for example, to give the reader a better impression. (This is actually something that always makes me question something in this forest; how is the light coming in between the treetops here and what about the sounds of insects flying by). I think you did a great job of framing it that way, and how you also portrayed Harry in a good light here, now that we had Aria more at the "centre" of the team. It's definitely a well-built dynamic here.

Other than that, all I can say is that I like that we're already coming to an end here with the plant, and a new problem is unnecessary without giving our heroes a break. :D

Other points I noticed while reading:

The plant exploded in a shower of steaming, smelly liquid and the roots holding Harry instantly went limp. He didn't stop to think, scrambling to his feet.

For the cliffhanger in the previous part, I find the description here quite disappointing. There could be more information, as you provide later, rather than explaining it in slow motion, for example. :D

Around him, he could already here someone whacking a branch with something and the sounds of branches snapping.

For the last sentence in this part, I think the double use of "branches" is a bit inappropriate and think you could rewrite it a bit here too, perhaps with a hint that Harry doesn't know what exactly he's hearing snapping?

Have fun writing!

Mailice




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!

Okay light confession time: After reading through the reviews for the previous chapter I added this whole thing. In the original second draft, the plant didn't attack and they managed to escape without really having to fight it. The lizards follow them and they shoot them all once they get to the wall after a bit of a chase but since that also sounded like they got away too easy, I added in this extra fight scene, so then I had to change this entire second half and I did it in kind of a rush, sooo....that's prolly noticeable. I'm glad the fight was good though, now I just need to add some better details in this last bit :D




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