Survival: The Escape, Chapter 9.3

ACTION.
Andrew here with a review!
Things are occurring, glad to see the tension building. I'd only say, like always, I want to feel from inside of the characters heads.

Once they had moved away from the door she turned around and held up three fingers and mouthed "More" before she gave them a nod and began to lead them further into the maze of corridors.

They hadn't run into any guards while the concrete floor had allowed them to travel without making much noise

Then there was a sudden flash of blinding light down the hallway. It lit up the entire hallway like the sun, bathing it in a pure white light, very different to the slight amber color present in the usual lights. Harry, Aria and Daisy flattened themselves into a nook hoping that they hadn't been caught in the beam of light.

Daisy tried one last desperate tug as a pair of shadows now began to emerge from the light. The shadows had more than one pair of arms and oval shaped heads. Guards. They could only wait as the shadows grew closer.

Hi Harry,
Mailice back with another short review!

Until now we have only heard and heard, but never seen, and that you give us a little teaser how it will go on, I think it was worthwhile to do another part in between. The chapter is more plot-oriented than the last one, where the focus was more on the characters, or the character itself. I like that there has been a certain change and that we are now going in a new direction.

It definitely makes the chapters very varied and interesting to read, because there is this effect that you subconsciously look for something new in the story, and you are rewarded with that. The build-up to this point is strong and given.

What I really liked about this part was the lack of dialogue. It was very much a testament to that tension of being somewhere you shouldn't be and how you also used that through a passive form to show, I really liked. Adding dialogue to this kind of "sanctuary" would have greatly diminished the effect there. We also briefly got some mental background information of Daisy and how fear shows out of the not only naive and serious girl.

I think you did a great job here of presenting it in a calm yet expansive tone. It gave a good effect while reading and the overall reading flow felt not too fast and not too short. Definitely a plus. In the second half of the part here, you also manage to lift it again with the excitement by keeping the sentences shorter. I especially liked the ending because it would clearly go in that direction in terms of structure, at least that's how I saw it. A good cliffhanger towards the end, makes me still curious about the next part... and it has come now.


Have fun writing!

Mailice

Hey Harry!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

Well...this was certainly a very intense part. It was short so I won't have much to review about, but you have definitely left us with enough to wonder about. This was certainly a really important new development, and while I have decide that you really have to be cruel to trap the three of them in a situation like this, but I really cannot find it within myself to complain as we finally got a glimpse of the aliens!

So they have oval shaped heads and more than one pair of arms? If the shadow itself had not creeped them out, then I have a feeling that this is not the first time they have come face to face with one. I cannot imagine any situation where they would be in the presence of the aliens and it would still go well. Right now, I hope Harry suddenly finds a blowtorch in his pocket and they somehow torch open that jammed door lest they become lunch for the aliens.

I cannot even imagine what would happen if they were found out. But I am hoping that you wouldn't be so cruel. After all, Harry is your namesake.

I liked the tension that you have maintained throughout the part. It went hand in hand with the situation they were in and hooked the readers all the more to whatever was happening. Still, all three of them seem relatively calm and less freaked out so I am going to hope that they will escape out of this. I can see this going several different ways and cannot wait to find out which way you choose. But I can say affirmatively that this story just got a lot more interesting.

there was no way that she was going to be able to open it herself

Hey! Forever here with a tiny review!!

Why did you seriously have to leave that cliffhanger at the end? This is veryy unfair Anyway, let's get into the review.

I would like to know a bit about the lights in the first paragraph. Like when you said Aria gestured to them, I thought the lights were on but then later, when Daisy smiled at the sight of the dim lights, it seemed that the light were off earlier. I would like clarification on the topic.

The first paragraph appears to be very interesting. It made me wonder about the characters a lot. Like we don't know who the characters are and what their individual function is in the mission. These nameless people might emerge as important characters as we don't really have such a small number of characters in a mission when it's concerned about a lot of people.

I wonder about this blinding light and if it was really blinding. Like they were in dim light earlier so a normal light too can be a sort of blinding at the first instance. That can be a thing. Okay, I guess they are exposed now and they have to do something to get rid of these aliens. The description of the aliens was interesting. The oval shaped head is typical but more than one pair of hands isn't. Also, the bell thing. I wonder why the aliens actually fixed those inside the walls. Maybe that was a trap and the trap is actually effective. Good that they didn't touch those. Lastly, I am a bit interested to know what the guards were carrying as weapons.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever