Young Writers Society

Hey! Forever here with a review!!

Okay, so we have ourselves a fight situation again. Now in this case, they are probably in a better situation than they were when they had to fight with their colonizers. This situation doesn't really seem to be that dangerous. I don't really know, it's written that they were fighting with death but strangely, I didn't quite get the feeling of death. Maybe it's just me. Or maybe we will be seeing the situation more clearly afterwards when the creature will be on the verge of attacking them. I mean the creature wasn't really attacking them, I guess. Ah, I have the strange imagination that the creature is an innocent creature who is not even in the intention of attacking them but they are very much afraid of it. After all, the creature hasn't really seen many humans in its lifetime and was probably curious to see what had entered its forest. Well, my thoughts sometimes become very strange.

Another thing which I noticed is so many 'said's. Sometimes, I guess it's a bit better to use alternatives to indicate the situation. Like said, in general means to say something normally and I believe that they were not peacefully talking among themselves. They were of course in a great hurry.

The mutant venus fly trap was an interesting thing. However, the good thing is that that can't actually be a dangerous thing unless and until they get towards it. So, not the most dangerous. I hope that they will be able to find a safe spot in the forest and that actually appears to be quite a difficult thing to find because the aliens were quite cautious to actually make the forest into a death trap. Ah, I agreed with Kate on making it go into the Venus Fly Trap. That would be super great to see. Like their own traps would trouble them. However, doesn't seem like that is not going to happen. Pretty sad...

Well, I just hope that no more creatures of the forest will make an appearance. If that happens, it will be a bit too difficult for them to handle the situation. One animal and five humans- the are not in a bad position but if suddenly, the animal gets afraid or angry or something and starts shouting and its friends come to help it, well I don't know what is going to happen. The description of the creature was wonderful.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever

Hi Harry,

Mailice back with another short review!

That was a very nice way towards the climax, how the team really felt like a team again here and through that we also already experienced the plan. In contrast to the previous parts, this one feels a bit warmer now that all the team members have spoken once (although it was probably only "to say" because of the effort. ).

I also thought it was good here that Daisy didn't panic but said yes straight away, perhaps also as Kate meant it, since they can run to the front instead of to the back. I think her development - despite the feeling that she was more in the background in this part - turned out well and this whole chapter gives her another chance to start well and shine.

In general, I liked the change between the narrative action at the beginning and now this 180-degree turn where the group comes to more action.

The reading flow was definitely well constructed here and I also like that after some explanations we now get a more active picture of the group. It was a good way to create a "break" but still not get rid of the feeling that there is still something to come.

One other point I noticed while reading:

“Well, we definitely need to pick a spot devoid of any suspicious looking trees,” said Aria," like a place that is not here, because if I'm recognizing this correct, we're going through a large patch of the mutant Venus fly trap things that can snap up a human.”

Hey Harry!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

Well, the excitement increases. This part was again well-executed and it focused more on them coming up with a plan than the action I expect will be in the next part. Aria was in her true form in this part, giving out orders and forming plans. All of them were able to think quickly on their feet and it was a little surprising considering that the description you provided at the ending made this mutant animal seem even more dangerous than the aliens.

I am not sure how they are going to defeat it with just their guns. Daisy mentioned that the creature was twice her height and it really does not add any points for them. I do wonder if these creatures have certainly evolved from the animals of today or they are mutants created in laboratories. The aliens seem like they would be talented in this criteria.

I don't think it was such a good idea to send Daisy and Kate to the front. Sure it is important to keep a look out in every direction, but this way they lose two more pairs of hands that could have been useful in a fight. Well, we will see what happens. I have faith in Aria and her plans.

Overall, this was a good continuation of the plot. The typos have increased somewhat, but they don't get in the way of the story. It will be interesting to see what happens next.

Keep writing and have a great day!