Young Writers Society

Hello there! I might be late for the party but who cares, I love your writings! This is loveissourgrapes and I am here to review/comment about your poem. I see it was posted on the date you freshly entered the site. And it is pretty good for a poem by a freshly new young writer that has entered.

it is good that the poem rhymes like the pattern abab. The poem's message makes you think a lot. It reminds me of my thoughts whenever I go to bed and try to sleep but my brain has these types of thoughts. What happens after living? It is good too that it feels like an old poem I would read in school.

Over all, it was great to read such a poem. Keep it up! Have a nice day/night!

This is such a beautiful poem, and I find it so interesting how you twist a typically dark topic into a positive perspective. It’s short and sweet, it really gets the message across without any sort of “filler.” I also really love the detail in your view of the afterlife. I love writing that describes luxurious settings like that, and I think you integrated it really well into this poem!

Okay Emily Dickinson!

Just kidding, you have a clear poetic voice of yourself! The words you use seem handpicked and it shows that you care about your craft - or the subject you write about. In both cases I find that this poem seem very personal to you, so you achieved writing from the heart, bravo

You also succeeded into making your poetry rhyme without making it awkward. Often I find that modern rhyming poetry doesn't do anything else, except making the poem more stuck up... but you used rhyming very well, in a natural way.

Sweet and short your poem is effective also in its imagery although you could have make it more powerful by developing interesting metaphors (the stage was great... but it lasted one line)

Happy writing!!

Wow! I love this poem. Thank you so much for sharing it with us on YWS! You obviously have a way with words. My favorite lines are "So fear not the approach of life's last breath, For in the end, it leads to endless rest." Beautifully phrased! I also really like how you use some of the older English words like "doth." I almost feel like I'm reading something from those old poets you have to read in literature.

Only, there's a fresh twist. Older romantic poets like to begin their work in the same way you did, but overall, the poem is a long rant about how sad the end of life is and on the fact that one day the writer will be forgotten etc. But you say here that the end is only the beginning of a much more restful life...the life eternal. It's such a positive message in such a dark world. Good writing!

-Kaia