Beautiful work! I loved that you did it from both perspectives. You are very talented to be able to create something like this. I hope you do not stop writing.
z
As the moon is reflecting off the snow, making the crystalline ice glitter
I walk by, head down, avoiding the pedestrians.
A man passes me on the street, shrouded in the dark of the cold December night.
I turn, the lights of the street illuminating my path.
I feel a sense of dread and start to run.
I don't get very far.
Then, I notice blood is on the ground like red raindrops, making a clear stain in the snow around me.
The blood is all over my clothes, my hands, my face.
I'm crying...
I feel faint...
I see the knife, a cold steel contraption used for taking lives on the snow beside me.
What happened to me?
~~~~
What happened to me?
I see the knife a cold steel contraption used for taking lives on the snow beside me.
I feel faint...
I'm crying...
The blood is all over my clothes, my hands, my face.
Then, I notice blood is on the ground like red raindrops, making clear stains in the snow around me.
I don't get very far.
I feel a sense of dread and start to run.
I turn, the lights of the street illuminating my path.
A man passes me on the street, shrouded in the dark of the cold December night.
I walk by, head down, avoiding the pedestrians
As the moon is reflecting off the snow, making the crystalline ice glitter.
Beautiful work! I loved that you did it from both perspectives. You are very talented to be able to create something like this. I hope you do not stop writing.
Absolutely amazing! This is so well thought out and I love the wya it shows the two perspectives depending on the direction it is read in. It also flows well to me at least as I read it. Keep up the awesome writing!
Hi! Space here for a review!
I absolutely LOVE this kind of poem! It's so creative and interesting, and the topic makes it even more so.
You captured the two sides of this topic wonderfully. I especially loved the descriptions of snow and the moon reflecting and blood on snow. Great job on that!
I only have one concern.
Obviously, when you're stabbed it's gonna hurt a lot, and you don't describe the feeling of that. I admit it's hard when you have to turn the sentence around and make it mean something, but maybe it could've been metaphorical in a sense, like the murderer is in metaphorical pain for what they have done. I don't know.
That's really all, and it's not that big of a deal.
This is a beautifully written poem!
Good job!
-Space
Woah. You finished it, and I'm impressed. You've accomplished the perspectives of both in an amazing way.
First I have a question on this line...
I don't get very far.
As the moon is reflecting off the snow, making the crystalline ice glitter.
Points: 203
Reviews: 3
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