Published December 19, 2017
In Green Tea and Lilies: A Collection of Rather Assorted Poetry
I have a jar of marbles
Some red, some blue, some green
They all have a meaning
To my life or in between.
Red is for the angry moments
The times where I get mad
Feeling steam come out the ears
And after feeling bad.
Blue is for the sad moments
When tears fall down my face
Water droplets soaking clothes
And paper all over the place
Green is for the jealous moments
When I wish selfishly
Hoping I could have what they do
And yearning carelessly.
Yellow is for the happy moments
When I feel so incredibly jubilant
Bouncing up and down for joy
Feeling so extremely exuberant.
Purple is for the peaceful moments
The time when I feel sound
Happy, calm, tranquil, serene
And placid all around.
White is for the important moments
The times where my life changed course
For the better rather than the worst
And not feeling remorse.
Black is for the depressing moments
The times where I felt like ending
When I felt things start to become unraveled
And my wounds are slowly mending.
That's my jar of marbles
My personal life experience
Happy, sad, angry, jealous
It'll make all the difference.
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Well hey, it has meter and rhymes. Thank the Lord that at least someone still respects meter and rhymes. The meter isn't 100% consistent and breaks here and there, but it's mostly quite nice. That sets you apart. Keep at it.
I'd recommend separating it into actual stanzas though. That's probably my only real issue with your work.
Just felt like expressing my gratitude. Rhyme and meter are all but unheard of in today's poetry, so thank you for helping keep them alive.
Thank you!
No problem. Keep using meter and rhymes. It might be harder to write, but I'm telling you, it pays off.
at first, I thought I read selfishy and I was like "that is my new favorite word" but alas... it was actually selfishly. I'm going to swallow my disappointment and review your work now. I would suggest a little more spacing between each thought of the marbles, but other than that I have 0 complaints! I like this idea a lot, the thought that memories are the past and wounds eventually heal. keep writing my dude!
Thank you! I do like the word selfishy too!