Published January 9, 2018
In Green Tea and Lilies: A Collection of Rather Assorted Poetry
As I sit here writing these words, I put on my mask of crystal glass.
Though clear and all-seeing, it hides my face,
I can put on whatever face I decide suits me.
I can be from anywhere, look like anything.
France, India, Brazil, Guatemala,
White, Black, Asian, Latino,
Blue-eyed, brown-eyed, green-eyed, grey.
I talk and collaborate with other crystal masked people,
Some of whom I call my friends.
I must be safe from those who wish ill upon me.
So I change my mask.
I give myself a personality,
A personality I want to have, but don't.
A kind, ever loving, pure personality.
I wish I was like the persona my mask creates,
But I am not.
I am not perfect,
I am not flawless,
I am not always kind,
I am not always ever loving...
But one thing I am is human.
I am a human.
I AM a human.
But who am I with my crystal mask?
Am I as good a person with the mask than without?
That is up to me.
And it's up to you too,
My friends with masks of crystal glass.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,870 Literary Works • 673,696 Reviews
Hey there! Woah. Yep, this is just plain amazing. You spend a good amount of time building up the 'facts' about what the crystal mask can mean, but you keep it simple to keep the fast pace up without making it too dull. Your last few lines though are AMAZING. You put forward a very strong and real reasoning. I feel that poetry should be used to share a message or emotions that the reader can learn from or connect to. The last bit gives us the message, but you use the earlier bits to gain that connection and even share a bit more emotion about wishes of who we all wish to be. Have I complimented this enough yet? No, not at all. Have I started to ramble and get annoying? Probably. But I LOVED this.
Anyway, time for me to stop fangirling and move on. I hope my review (more like infinite praise) is helpful to you in your writing endeavors.
Sláinte -Junel (PFF)
Thank PFF
Hello GreenTea! Kara here for a (hopefully) quick review!
As I sit here writing these words, I put on my mask of crystal glass. {CRYSTAL?! WHERE}
Give me your soul.With that aside, I'm not the best at poetry but here we go!
Bold = grammar and flow issues.
Italics = suggestions and overall
Strikethrough= removeUnderline = krazy Kara komments.
Spoiler
Though clear and all-seeing, it hides my face,
{so} I can put on whatever face I decide suits me.
I can be from anywhere, look like anything.
France, India, Brazil, Guatemala,
White, {b}lack, {a}sian, {l}atino,
Blue-eyed, brown-eyed, green-eyed, grey.
I talk and collaborate with other crystal{-}masked people,
Some of whom I call my friends.
I must be safe from those who wish ill upon me{,}
So I change my mask.
I give myself a personality,
A personality I want to have, but don't.
A kind, ever{-}loving, pure personality.
I wish I was like the persona my mask creates,
But I am not.
I am not perfect,
I am not flawless,
I am not always kind,
I am not always ever{-}loving...
But one thing I am is human.
I am a human.
I AM a human.But who am I with my crystal mask?
Am I as good {as} a person with the mask than without?
That is up to me.
And it's up to you too,
My friends with masks of crystal glass
My interpretation:
Well, this is about representation of yourself/slipping on a disguise. However, you kind of slap me in the face with this meaning by the ending part. If you ended the poem after "I give myself a personality/A personality I want to have, but don't." then it'll work and leave the reader to think a little.
Overall:
I did like it, but again, I think that you can remove the last part.
Why haven’t you given me your soul yet? --
Kara
Hey! Chitz here for a review.
The overall persona it creates in wow. You captured the truth of everyone's life, who sits online and has a completely different by himself there. We create the most appealing profile to impress the follower but we forget that its more important to be the real you.
I, while reading, felt that there was some mistakes while using commas and fullstops. If I got them right, so you can work on them. But only if you want.
Overall, the poem has captured the reality and appreciate your attempt. It was very good.
Hope to read more of you.
Stay awaken, keep writing.
Thank you!
This poem is beautiful. It shows the reason many of us decide to go online. When real life becomes harsh, we retreat to our digital world to collect our thoughts. At least, that's what I do. I adore the 'crystal mask' concept. (I am reposting this because I messed up and didn't get points
Thank you!
This poem is beautiful. It shows the reason many of us decide to go online. When real life becomes harsh, we retreat to our digital world to collect our thoughts. At least, that's what I do. I adore the 'crystal mask' concept.