Blacken the Days
Lighten the Nights
But you can't ever change
The Sunset and Sunrise.
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141,687 Literary Works • 675,575 Reviews
Hey Tiny here!
I love how simple and sweet this is. Who knew 15 words could make a person feel so bubbly inside. I have one suggestion though, place a comma after Days and a period after nights. I think that might help with the slow of the poem. It is your work though so its your choice to change or not change it. Thanks for this wonderful piece.
Keep writing
Thanks for the review!
Hey Gigi
The statement you chose to be your heading, is very true and some people never understand that.
I really didn't understand what exactly you meant by 'Blacken the Days'.
I love the line,
'But you can't ever change
The Sunset and Sunrise.'
Its so true, so simple.
The simplicity of the poem works.
Keep writing!
All the best.
Love,
Krish
Thanks for the review!
And I think that I haven't been able to express what I meant clearly.What I meant was: day is bright so therefore it represents good. Night is dark, therefore it represents evil.
A good person can become evil while an evil person can become good but that doesn't change the ending.
We don't choose how or where we're born. We don't choose our family. Like that, we don't choose when we'll die. It's chosen for us.
We can change everything thing in life but we must face the inevitable.
You are welcome
That is a beautiful thought! *bows*
When I look at the poem now, its a better wow
*clasps*
Beautiful poem, where simplicity has worked. I love the use of parallel used in this short poem.
Beautiful description, they contrast with each other very nicely.
And you have also ended this poem on a nice note. Giving an air of finality.
There really isn't any grammatical mistakes in a short poem like this.
Overall, great job! You've painted a wonderful imagery and composed a lovely poem here!
-Laure
Thanks for the review!
Hi,rikki here for a short review to your short composition.
The poetry piece is too small to comment much or find much flaws.
It is more like a statement that depicts truth
" Blacken the Days
Lighten the Nights "
You can of course lighten the nights but not sure about line1 though.
" But you can't ever change
The Sunset and Sunrise. "
This is just a statement which is very true and will always be.
Anyways it is a nice short and sweet composition buddy.
May you be inspired and motivated and may be next time write something with a bit more description.
All the Best, Mate.
Thanks for the review!