*begins with whispers* She can't even see herself
Did you hear she cuts herself
Did you hear she made out with that guy
I heard she screwed- *Interrupted by a slow electric guitar*
I made a mistake
You left me
I'm alone without you---
Its all my fault I know
But you're breaking my heart when its already broken----
*grows louder and drums and guitar come in loudly*
But you're making the rumors
You're spreading them around
Over and Over again
You're voice is in my ears
My name is everywhere
The rumors-----
Over and Over
*goes quieter but still drums and electric guitar play*
You beg me for news like we're still best friends
You stab me in the back when I see you again
My name is in everyone's mind
The rumors are here in mine
And I can't get them out---
I can't get them out------- *grows louder*
*Instruments grow loud*
But you're making the rumors
You're spreading them around
Over and Over again
You're voice is in my ears
My name is everywhere
The rumors-----
Over and Over
*Instrumental with electric guitar and drums*
But you're making the rumors
You're spreading them around
Over and Over again
You're voice is in my ears
My name is everywhere
The rumors-----
Over and Over
The rumors won't die
The rumors won't dissa-pear---
The rumors won't die
The rumors won't fly away!
But you're making the rumors
You're spreading them around
Over and Over again
You're voice is in my ears
My name is everywhere
The rumors-----
Over and Over
*grows quieter*
Over and Over
The rumors----
Over and Over
Over and Over
*Gradually gets quieter*
Over and Over and Over again
*Whispers in a talking voice slowly*
They won't go away
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140,799 Literary Works • 673,688 Reviews
Wow, i could really see the emotion and anger coming through the lyrics. This would make a great song. I really like the way the music is supposed to sound.This song is also really relatible. most students eaither know someone who has had or have had horrible rummers started about them. i like the part about friends stabbing each other in the back. Never happend to me but it's happend to alot of my friends. If I were a recording artist I would record this song.
Hi, Queenie!
This is a very interesting poem. In fact, the emotion is brought out very well. We can definitely get a taste of what the speaker is feeling. Very good job with that!
One thing that I noticed was how repetitious it is. Throughout the entire song, the speaker just says how it's her fault, how he's spreading rumors about her, and it hurts her. That's it in a nutshell for the entire song, and I think by adding more about the story or adding some more metaphors, this would sound much better and easier to read/listen to.
That's really the only thing I have to say. There's not much meat to the song, so if you give the reader/listener more details and description about what's actually happening, it'll be more entertaining as a song. =)
On a last note, I did like how you told us when the instruments come in. It helped my brain figure out the course of the song!
If you hvae any questions, feel free to PM me. I'm always happy to help. =)
Keep writing!
Jabber, the One and Only!
Man, you can really feel the pain and anger from this song. Well written, you could perhaps break it up into verses, it would be easier to read also. I liked this, good job!