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Phantom

by FireSpyGirl


Authors note: This is just a rough draft. I will refine it later, but will still appreciate reviews, especially on the plot.

Hazel sat up and stretched. She looked at her clock and groaned. It was 3:00 in the morning, and she’d been having nightmares again. The same exact one that had been occurring every night for about a week. In it, she was constantly being followed around by someone with a chainsaw, but she could never see his face. That wasn’t the most terrifying factor. The horrifying part was the feeling that hung over her as she ran. He was after her. He wanted her. She wasn’t sure why, or if he meant to kill her, but she knew that she was the one he was after. She grabbed her water bottle and took a drink, trying to stop shaking. There was no point in trying to go back to sleep now. She could still hear the chainsaw, and see the cloaked figure coming up behind her.

She picked up her phone off the lamp stand next to her bed and checked her messages. She had one message from somebody who’s profile picture was a cloak. She gripped the phone tight.

“No, it’s just a coincidence.” She told herself aloud. Hazel took a deep breath and looked at the message.

Sleeping well?” The message said. Hazel frowned, a little nervous. Having not sleep for a week, she was surprised she hadn’t had some sort of break down yet. She looked at the time the message was sent. 1:00 that morning. Hazel started shaking again. This was way to creepy, and could not be a coincidence.She really didn’t want to answer, but maybe, just maybe, she could find something out if she did answer.

Her trembling fingers typed out an answer:

Who are you?”

A concerned friend.”

How did you know I wasn’t sleeping well?”

I have ways of finding things out.”

Do you have any idea how creepy that is!?”

I can’t say I really care. Besides, you answered.”

Hazel couldn’t argue with that.

Do I know you?”

Not really.”

Suddenly, she heard the sound of a chainsaw. Hazel shrieked and dropped the phone. She had a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach, but gritting her teeth, she threw off her covers. Her feet touched the cold floor and Hazel flinched, but got up and went cautiously to the window. Peeking through the blinds, she couldn’t see anything, anywhere. She could hear it though. And it was close. She pinched herself several times. She was awake. Collapsing back onto the bed, shaking violently, she tried to convince herself that it was just the beginnings of a mental breakdown. She took big gulps of air, trying to calm herself down. The chainsaw had stopped, her phone buzzed.

A new message had appeared:

What’s wrong?”

Nothing.”  Hazel typed back, really scared now.

You disappeared.”

Sorry. Had to go get a drink.”

I see.”

There was something sinister in that last sentence.


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38 Reviews


Points: 157
Reviews: 38

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Fri Mar 15, 2019 4:46 am
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Anma wrote a review...



Hello!

Its great!

Its very interesting, its kind of creepy but it just makes it really good!

I don't see many grammar or punctuation errors. It seems to be split into paragraphs well, it has space. You can mostly tell what's going on. Also has emotion to it, its lovely price of writing.

I'm sorry its pretty short.

But I loved reading this! I hope to read more of your work!
Anna-





It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong.
— Voltaire