This story's been slightly edited, but the reviews are still valid.
-FW76
Emma Agne is a European model and secret spy for an agency that knows Luminous Conflux is planning something sinister from inside agents. Emma, a genetically modified agent, was chosen as the agent to enter the L.C.F.F.T. and win to stop L.C.'s plan.
Emma Agne prepared her gear, "A no rules fight... L.C. is a bunch of sickos."
Gun? Check. Smoke bombs? Check. The woman's locker room was a generally okay place. Wasn't as bad as the other places Emma has been sent. The room had the usual sweat smell and was loud with all the normal humans bundled with the weirdos.
"THE FIGHT SHALL SHORTLY BEGIN FOLKS! ONCE AGAIN, IT'S RICARDO EMMANUEL VERSUS EMMA AGNE! GET READY FOR AN INCREDIBLE FIGHT!" said the Announcer over the comms, but this time it was a different announcer. Seems there were two announcers.
Emma headed to the arena entrance hall. She thought about how her opponent, Ricardo, would fight...
Ricardo walked up to the central stage of the arena. He looked Emma in the eyes and said, "You should surrender now, save yourself the trouble." Emma kept her neutral expression.
"You wish, it'll be a world of hell for you." Emma wasn't messing around, she was determined to win, the world depended on it.
"You asked for it, lady," Ricardo uttered. It was about time he got this show on the road.
"THIS TIME, THE ARENA WILL SIMULATE AN EMPTY PARKING BUILDING!" said the new announcer.
Suddenly, the two fighters were elevated to the high-up floor of a parking building, which looked quite old and damaged. It felt so real... this should be fun.
Emma and Ricardo charged at each other and BAM! Their fists connected, the force knocking them back a little. Ricardo went for the next punch, but Emma flipped backward, avoiding the attack. She drew her gun and pulled the trigger.
Ricardo was covering his face with an X arm formation. He revealed his face... and the bullet was caught between his teeth! "Ptew! Nice try, Emma, but I've had more than one gunshot encounter."
Emma realized that this guy is more experienced than he looks. Emma threw down a smoke bomb and seemingly disappeared. Ricardo looked around confused, but then Emma came from behind a pillar and delivered a punch in Ricardo's face. Ricardo caught himself before falling back and pulled back.
Ricardo ran to Emma, hand clenched and practically behind him, and grabbed Emma by the face and threw her down to the ground, the impact on the cement feeling so strong. Ricardo got down to kick Emma, but she grabbed his leg and flipped around, her back down, throwing Ricardo in front of her.
Emma got up, "You're not the only one with fancy tricks," she said, not minding her injuries. Ricardo was stuck there in a small crater, the asphalt sending an agonizing shock up his back. He tried to get up, but a gunshot had just missed him. Emma blew out the smoke from her gun, "Stay there and the bullet will miss again.
Emma fired another bullet that missed to keep Ricardo down. She stepped on him with her left leg, "This fight's ov-" Emma said before she was punched in her left tibia. Ricardo's endorphins had kicked in, making him feel less discomfort. "PISTON FLURRY!" Ricardo shouted, and raised his arms to a position around Emma's leg.
Punch, after punch, after another punch. The rapid strikes forcing Emma to backup, allowing Ricardo to elevate himself to his feet. Emma grabbed her gun and started repeatedly shooting, this time not holding back. Ricardo dashed to his right, circling his opponent. As the bullets closed in, Ricardo jumped forth at an annoyed Emma.
"I'LL FINISH THIS!" they said in unison. Ricardo connected with Emma's face while she connected with his genitals. Both had taken too much, they had both fallen.
said the Announcer, having to face the upset crowd. Medics rushed in to treat Emma and Ricardo's injuries before it got too serious. Being rushed out on cots, that was the only thing the two remember before passing out.
"Wow, now that was intense," said Fox in the men's locker room watching the TV screen. Fox was impressed, "So there are truly worthy opponents in this competition. May I hope to fight them."
"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! Sheesh, NEXT IS 'XANDRIA VERSUS THE LIVING BOULDER! God, these names are just ridiculous, right Merv?" said the Announcer again, "Don't ask me, Hank. My mom thought Merv was a good name." replied another person.
Next time on "Fists of Fate", meet Alexandria, or Xandria, a mysterious woman armed with an ancient blade from the far past, as she fights the "Living Boulder", a rock golem!
I like how the story is set up, with a character introduction and then a fight. I have to say that I agree with Emma. "LC is a bunch of sickos."
I found a lot of the same problems in this chapter, especially the switching between tense stuff I was talking about. I liked that the fight was a tie. It was kind of amazing how Ricardo caught the bullet with his teeth. He must e some criminal. The criminal underworld will sure miss him, if he wins. It's also really interesting that Emma is a GMH- genetically modified human. I like her character. What will she do if she's unable to infiltrate LC?
One other thing. The announcer stuff is a little weird. For a minute it sounds like the announcers can be seen, but most of time its like their voices are just coming out of a radio or a loudspeaker. If they have to "face the upset crowd," aren't they with the crowd? At the same time Emma thinks that the first announcer was fired, but there must have just been two announcers there all along. Shouldn't she have known that, if they were with the audience? Also, it seems odd that it took them three chapters to finally learn to share the limelight.
Hey FW76! I haven't seen you around in the forums, but I see you've been here a while already. In any case, a late welcome to YWS!
I can be a harsh critic, so please be aware of that. I apologize if I do hurt your feelings with anything I say; but I only mean for this to be a springboard to improve your work. Please don't let me get you down, and feel free to chat with me if I'm overly heavy-handed or anything.
So I have read your previous installments of the story. They seem to be about the same as this piece — fast-paced action sequences. One or two sentences on plot advancement. The prologue actually spoiled the plot for me — I'd have liked to see a tension surrounding this mysterious object everyone is vying for and the legitimacy of the company building up, organically figuring out what is going on. It is the mystery and tension that keeps readers coming back for more every time. They read on to answer the questions you raise in their minds! At the moment, you're just firing action scenes at the reader with very little character development or plot advancement. Despite the raging fighting, the story feels stagnant. Even worse, as a reader I don't care about the characters at all because I don't know them and can't relate to them.
On the same note, backstory can also be a really cool mystery to be revealed slowly and savored.
I recognize and appreciate the manga-type feeling of this, and the aesthetic you've created, but to be perfectly honest, it doesn't work for me. The bio at the start is burdensome to read (I skipped it the first time I read this and had to force myself to read it the second time) and the writing style really screams that this story was actually meant to be drawn. I like the changes in font, though, and the "next time" sections would be good as satire.
Your grammar surrounding dialogue needs a touch of polish, but for the rest, not too bad at all! A few comma splice-type issues here and there but your level is certainly above average. Good job.
You have incredible skill in writing action, but I think it's high time for you to step out of your comfort zone and put it to use in a sophisticated format that readers can relate to.
My recommendations:
Get off the bio train and on the characterization train. One does not replace the other. Make readers care about your characters.
Work on your dialogue grammar, and read up about comma splices.
Write a piece that's outside your action-sequence comfort zone and learn about the value of sharing intimate details of your characters and their feelings.
Remove the prologue. Create tension by advancing a plot full of mystery.
I can certainly see your writing talent in this piece, but I think you need to put some thought into how you are using the medium you have picked.
Keep writing!
barefoot
Hey FantasyWriter! I'm here to help bring this out of the green room for you! I apologize that I haven't read previous installments of this story.
I was confused at first because the story looked like it was going to be more about the characters than the actual chapter. I thought all of the character info was interesting, but we don't need it at the start of a chapter. All of that information is great to have on hand, but you can weave it into the story rather than giving the reader a brief character overview at the beginning of the chapter. If you want to talk specifics about a character or share their character chart, I'd recommend starting a thread in the Writer's Corner so we can discuss 
I thought the action was interesting but it was a little hard to follow because I didn't have a firm sense of where we were or why this was happening. I think before you get into the action I would establish where we are and give some description about where this scene is happening. Are we inside or outside? What's the community like? How many people are there? Etc. Paint me a picture of where I am
And I'm sure the why this happening was set up in previous chapters, but I think I'd still like a little bit of context about why these two are fighting and why it's going to be important for the overall plot. Who should I be rooting for? What are the stakes (or what's going to happen to the winner and what's going to happen to the loser)? Why does it matter that they're fighting.
I hope you keep working on this story, and let me know if you have any questions or if there's something you'd like feedback about that I didn't mention! 
Wow! I just checked, and as it turns out, the first chapters of TBB (The Bard's Ballad) and FoF (Fists of Fate) have (about) an equal amount of praise in the form of reviews! Thanks guys, I feel like FoF and TBB will be equal contenders for best FW76 story, so keep reviewing and I'll keep making these.
-FW76
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