why was i lowkey singing this in my head in the style of Lana Del Rey- like there is just something really lyrical about this poem. it's really tragically beautiful.
I was a little unclear on the overall story presented in the poem so you will have to let me know if my analysis is correct or not!
The speaker sets the scene with vivid imagery of the midnight hour, a moon shining menacingly overhead, and the unpleasant smell of rotting sewers. These sensory details create an ominous atmosphere that foreshadows the danger and guilt that lurk beneath the surface of the speaker's actions. The second stanza introduces the object of the speaker's affection, who is described as having "jasper eyes" and a "sluggish, sly smirk." The description is very vivid and a really unique way to describe a person, and it really brought this poem alive in my mind. The speaker's admiration for this person is tinged with sadness and longing, as they acknowledge that the relationship is illicit and cannot be openly acknowledged. The repetition of the phrase "and i weep" underscores the speaker's emotional turmoil and the inevitability of their heartbreak.
The third stanza reveals that the speaker is married, which adds another layer of complexity to their situation. It makes the poem feel like an entire story rather than just a few stanzas. The line "in our clandestine meetings, we are / one and two and three and four" suggests that the speaker and their lover are engaging in a secretive affair, but the precise nature of their interactions is left up to the reader's imagination. Hopefully I am interpreting this all correctly! The image of the "whistle rings" creates a sense of urgency and danger, as if the speaker is aware that they are playing a dangerous game.
The final stanzas are the most enigmatic, as it is not entirely clear what has happened to the speaker's lover. The line "almost as fast as my husband when / he is on the racing track" implies that the lover has disappeared suddenly, but whether they have been caught, injured, or killed is left up to the reader's interpretation. The repetition of "jasper eyes" and "i weep" reinforces the idea that the memory of the lover is both beautiful and painful for the speaker, who is left to grieve the loss of their relationship.
In my opinion, the poem is successful in conveying the sense of danger and longing that characterizes the speaker's experience. The use of sensory details is particularly effective, as it creates a vivid and immersive atmosphere that captures the reader's imagination. However, I do wish that the final stanza were a bit clearer in its resolution, as the ambiguity detracts somewhat from the emotional impact of the poem as a whole. Maybe i just haven't got my thinking head on today aha. But honestly this was a realllllly beautifully written poem. I loved reading it and thinking about it whilst I wrote my review.
here are some of the things that really made this poem good:
Vivid Imagery: you used vivid and sensory imagery to create a dark and foreboding atmosphere. The description of the moon, the rotting sewers, and the streetlight help to create a visual landscape that is both haunting and memorable.
Emotional Intensity: your captured the emotional intensity of the speaker's experience through the use of repetition and strong language. The phrase "and i weep" is repeated throughout the poem, underscoring the speaker's sadness and sense of loss.
Layered Meanings: The poem has several layered meanings that allow the reader to interpret it in different ways. For example, the line "almost as fast as my husband when / he is on the racing track" could be interpreted as a metaphor for the danger and risk involved in the speaker's affair.
Effective Structure: The poem is structured in a way that builds tension and suspense, with the revelation of the speaker's marriage and the ambiguity surrounding the fate of the lover creating a sense of uncertainty and unease.