I hear concern in the crashing raindrops,
anger in the beat of thunder,
like an old friend returning to me
to defend me from the new struggles
of my ever expanding world,
to glare at the people who caused me pain with its lightning,
to drown out the sound of my self-deprecating voice
with its storm.
But while it avenges me with such force,
tears apart the world with indifference,
I could swear I hear it ask me
with an anxious voice, "Are you truly okay?
Can you stand up? Oh love, are you really okay?"
Somedays I surrender my bravado
and cry to the listening yet loud raindrops,
it's like the clouds can hear me
and we weep together.
Somedays I face it with a brave smile
and a trembling but sure voice
and say, "I'm still holding on."
and we laugh together.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,005 Literary Works • 672,808 Reviews
I loved that! It was really detailed, and I think that it was a pretty cool way to describe a storm. It also had emotion in it, and normally I don't really read poems but this is an exception! I love nature, and I love when its raining and the thunder and lightning, and while it is a sunny day, I felt as though I was watching it!
Thank you very much for the review! I'm so glad to hear you were able to find joy in my poem! <3
hey there let me first commend you on a job well done! I too am a fan of nature oh and what a beautiful way you have managed to craft it into a great piece! ok i loved the intense imagery and i felt like this went so much deeper than appreciation of nature. I love a deep poem and can i just say this one did it for me? as someone who spends a lot of time with her thoughts I would be lying if I said I don't get this. i felt this right down to the bone . I felt the adrenaline rush as if someone was reading my thoughts! damn!!! this got under my skin but in like a really good way! bravo love, do us all a favour and keep them coming!
Oh my god, thank you so much! I'm so glad you felt this as deeply as I do because all I've ever wanted is to give people a profound experience through the power of words so the fact that it reached your heart is truly the best compliment I could get <3 thank you again!
Hey there! I really love storms, and I thought this was a really cool way to write about one. Without further ado, I'll start.
I really like the way this poem starts, how you start describing what this storm might feel like. I've seen many cases of people comparing their emotion to a storm, but I rarely see someone a describing what a storm's own emotion might be. That definitely sets it apart from other poems in my mind.
Seeing more concern from the storm here is great because we can see more of the bond between you and it. It's also pretty neat, because we often see storms as fierce, strong and vengeful, while this part of the poem shows a more gentle, caring side to it.
I like how the ending shows the strength in an unlikely relationship that resembles a symbolic friendship. The unique point of view was really great to read, and I always enjoy finding original poems. Thank you so much for your writing, and keep up the good work!
- Shadow
Thank you so much for the review! <3 I love storms too and I'm glad you loved the lens through which the storm was portrayed in this poem! These are actually real thoughts I get when it begins raining outside so putting it into words was super fun! Thanks again!
You%u2019re welcome! I%u2019m glad I found this!
This was an amazing way to show a different point of view on storms.
"But while it avenges me with such force,
tears apart the world with indifference,
I could swear I hear it ask me
with an anxious voice, "Are you truly okay?
Can you stand up? Oh love, are you really okay?"
Somedays I surrender my bravado
and cry to the listening yet loud raindrops," this truly speaks in depth of how certain people feel. honestly i have never met someone who could take a storm and make it into something beautiful. The way you word it just takes so much skill and bravado to use words that are so true and fit so well. (I dont write bad reviews)
Omg, thank you so much for your kind words <3 I'm glad you found this portrayal of storms as beautiful as I see them myself! More importantly, it's great to hear that my words reached your heart! Thanks again!