Sorry

The use of simple and plain words makes the poem easy to convey a message. It's a highly emotional poem. It makes a reader cry. when I was reading this my eyes didn't seem to blink. As far as any nitpick is concerned I haven't find any. You have done a great job. Keep it up. You are a great writer I must say.

Hello there Esca,

Knowing you wrote this poem I decided to shift my seating position to physically prepare myself because I know your poems do pack a punch. You can tell I was extra excited as I read the first stanza and enjoyed how reassuring the lines were and how well they flowed off my tongue. Then came the second stanza and beyond, where I started to stutter quite a bit trying to read the stanza in a similar flow as the previous one. Sadly, that wasn’t the case which disappointed me.

I’m not really a pro in poetry, but I do know that everything sounds nicer with a flow and if you ask me, constant flow throughout the poem and near perfect syllable counts would do this poem well.

Now a little about the content which had me somewhat confused until I got to the end. At first because of the way you worded the first two stanzas, I thought it was some kind of taunt to the person. Though the more I read I realised it was almost like you were cradling that person but from afar, trying to confront without your presence.

The second stanza, where you use the word ‘familiar face’ this implies that the person is not that close to the reader because surely he or she shouldn’t think your face is familiar other than being certain it’s your face. I do like how you transitioned from ‘pouting’ to ‘crying’ though, it was nice emotional development.

Then there’s a scene jump from being on a bed, pouting and crying, to a ‘shore’. You may mean this to be a metaphor but that’s not clear to me, the reader, unless you add a line or two explaining what you mean.

The fourth stanza talks about being alright and how ‘we’ll’ get through. Using the world ‘we’ implies that you are also not alright with what’s happening, about you going away, about everything… But why don’t I get that vibe? The way you’ve chosen your words throughout the poem implies that the person is hurting way more than the writer. To me, it seems that the writer feels little to no regrets or pain leaving this person behind. Maybe it’s for the greater good of love? I’m no expert in this.

Then comes the second to last stanza, putting that person to sleep reassuring them that the writer will become a memory when they awake. I think you should’ve used ‘awake’ rather than ‘wake’ but both can work, I think. This stanza was my favourite because it’s a sad, simple and quiet way to end this poem which started off like cradling a baby then slowly quieting down to a sad slumber.

All in all, I liked the idea of this poem, I enjoyed how I can smell the paint of emotion off every stanza from top to bottom. I disliked some of the wording and flow in certain places. Thanks for this post, keep writing.

Wow, this was an extremely emotional poem. I LOVE your usage of anaphora in this piece of writing. It adds a heightened emphasis to the poem and makes the content that much heavier. Its flow is nearly conversational; I could easily see this formatted as a song backed by a melancholic piano. I'd love to see a poem from the perspective of the guy using the same meter and style. Great job!

Hi!
To start off, I think this poem was touching, cute and I like the choice of vocabulary you have chosen! This poem almost flows, and that what makes people what to read it! I really like the layout, the use of punctuation and the use of short sentences. The title in itself is very attractive and I hope you continue to write poems like this!

Hello, EscaSkye!!

I am Saraswati!
Well, this is rather an emotional poem. Te title is very apt. The title itself is very very attractive. See, that's why I read it and I am here to review this wonderful piece of poetry. The theme is really very good and unique. Well, this generally happens with teenagers. I have seen it's example practically also.

Anyways, the poem is written really beautifully. I liked the words chosen. They are simple and convey their meaning sharply. I am impressed by this work. I loved it.
Great work, overall!

Keep writing!