Young Writers Society

Hi,
I will make a freewriting review now, I wish you understand.

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My first impression was you are making a good image. I like how you relate the biology horror with the whole poem. It's kinda horror-ible, but it should be one to strengthen the meaning. The juxtaposition of the current city and the previous one is thing you one to focus at, so do best at that.

Can you remember the city

when we used to describe it as monochrome?

Maybe, the world wasn’t so monochrome before,

maybe it was interesting as it was when we:

How about that blot of red

staining the concrete pavement

and the man sprawled on the road?

Hey!
I truly do like the underlying idea here. 'Monochrome' is a fun word to begin with, and using it as a running metaphor I think is a powerful visual metaphor for encroaching chaos.
The subject matter of this poem appears to be a reference to the series of violent events currently rocking this real world. The first verse has a sense of wistfulness to it, perhaps a referral to before the constant news of mayhem. (If I was certain of the author's nationality of American, which she may well be; I can't claim to know; I'd say it's harkening to a pre-9/11 world.)
The strongest motif there is to work with here is that of color. While including the tactile senses of smell and hearing do strengthen the presence of the scene, the color motif makes for the more compelling poem. If verses two and five could slip in a color reference apiece, or maybe even rearrange itself to center of that.
The grammar here is good, even as prose. Kudos.
The asterisks between verses seem to break them into separate segments more so than just a line break could, like walls. This works great between the bookend wistfulness and the descriptions of the city, but perhaps the chaos of the city would be better maintained if the asterisks weren't placed between paragraphs of description? Just a thought.
The title matches the work, yay.
Overall, this is a poem with a clear message and evocative imagery that could make heavier use of the running metaphor to achieve a greater effect than as it now stands.