The Rule Of The Alien Queen...

by Eros

Published June 20, 2016

In The Rule Of The Alien Queen...

Chapter 2: The Birth of Earth...

Vibra continued the research. He would visit the spot every day in the morning, afternoon and in the evening. The translucent mass now grew blue in colour. He kept on observing one thing that the size of the mass was growing continuosly.

He checked for it's composition. He found the same element throughout the mass. He could not identify the element.  He isolated few atoms with the super-nano-alien technology and observed it in the "Quark-microscope." Quark microscope was finer than the electron microscope, made by Vibra. Quarks are smaller than electrons so that gave the finest possible structures of small particles. At last, his hard work came to fruit and he found out that the element was trivalent.

After about a month, Vibra observed that the blue gaseous mass was not only increasing in size and spreading evenly, but also observed that it's thickness was increasing too. He again observed it in the quark microscope. He found that the mass was appearing thick due to the growth of layers above and below it, thus sandwitching the blue layer. The colour of the mass was changing day by day. It was aquiring a colour of mixture of all the shades of blue. 

He checked for the elemental compostions. He no longer found the composition of the same trivalent element throughout the mass. Instead he now found electrons, ions and even gaseous water vapours in it. He found that all these elements have now got separeted into layers. 

Then he conducted an experiment to see what are the properties of this whole mass with four layers in it. He pased the ionising radiations, X rays and Gamma rays through the gaseous mass. He found that the innermost layer was able to remove electrons and thus got ionized. Then he pased Ultra violet rays through it. He found that the ultraviolet rays didn't show any effect. It went inside and didn't come out. He concluded that it was absorbed by one of the layers. He separated the layers and passed the ultra violet radiation individually through them.

He found that the blue layer of the trivalent element was resposible for the absorption.

Vibra always reported me all the conclusions and the results he drew from his experiments and always assured that it wasn't at all harmful.

Vibra observed that the mass had grown quite big and to observe it completely he felt the need to use the spaceship. The whole thing appeared like a big blue gaseous ball. He was curious to know what was inside the ball. He crafted and designed a different spaceship. It didn't look like the original spaceship which resembled the submarine in shape and structure. The new spaceship looked like a big rotating disk with a big transparent helmet like control room which had all the jockeys to control the movement of this new spaceship. It's body was designed in such a way so that it could cut through the thick layers of the big mass. Vibra called this new spaceship as Drift Disk.

Vibra showed me the Drift Disk and told me his intense desire to go inside the big ball of mass. 

I alarmed Vibra, "But this trip can prove to be extremely dangerous."

He confidently said, "Don't worry, Your Highness. My Drift Disk is well equipped with weapons for defense." 

He gave me a walkie talkie and said, "Your Highness, keep this with you. I will be talking to you through this. There is a monitor in my Drift Disk and a camera in your walkie talkie. This will allow me to hear and see you on my monitor, and also you will be able to hear and see me on the screen of your walkie talkie."

"Hmm. So, I give you the permission of going into the gaseous ball." I said.

Vibra thanked me and sat in the Drift Disk. The Drift Disk started to lift in the air and began rotating with a certain pace. Vibra waved his hand. I and my guards waved our hands too as we saw the Drift Disk fly away.

Vibra's Drift Disk cut through the layers and reached inside the big blue ball. He faced a bright light falling directly on his eyes.

"Ahh!! This light is penetrating in my eyes!!" he bursted out in discomfort. He pushed a jockey and slowly the transparent fabric of helmet like room blackened.

Vibra felt extreme heat inside the ball. He regulated the temperature inside the Drift Disk to the coolest temperature. He went ahead. Exactly in the middle of the globular mass, he saw a dense, viscous, red fluid bubbling and boiling out because of the intense heat. He went ahead and ahead. At a point he saw many semi molten red coloured little rocks.

"The liquid is probably made up of the melt of these rocks.", Vibra thought.

He moved forward and saw a big mountain through which the hot liquid was oozing out. 

"No, no... perhaps the rocks and the liquid have erupted from this mountain... maybe a strong internal force expelled it out." he thought as he continued the journey. He could not find anything peculiar now. Thus he decided to go back to Loa Loa.

I recieved a signal in the walkie talkie. I pushed the "Start" button.

Vibra talked through the walkie talkie, "Your Highness... there is nothing much here except for the tremendous heat. I have decided to come back to Loa Loa."

"Hmm. Okay." I answered through the walkie talkie.

Comments & reviews · 2
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SofieR
Review
SofieR wrote a review Review · Jun 26, 2016

What's up, Ero? Sofie here to review chapter two :)

I really like where the story's going! You're really good at characterization and giving each character their own individual voice. You also pace the story very well, and build up just enough suspense to get the reader super excited to read what's coming next. That's a very good quality to have! Plus, you give great descriptions. You paint a nice, clear picture of the world we're in.

As far as anything that could use work, like the previous chapter the only thing that sticks out to me is sentence structure and rhythm. For example, this line here:

"Vibra felt extreme heat inside the ball."

Don't just tell us what he felt. Make us feel the heat ourselves. Consider the following:

"The heat inside the ball was suffocating/scorching/blinding (any one of those words could do). He regulated the temperature and went ahead. Exactly at the center of the globular mass, he saw a dense, viscous, red fluid bubbling and boiling over. He carried on until he reached an array of small, semi molten red coloured rocks."

Short and sweet usually gets the job done with descriptions. Oh, and this sentence here:


"The liquid is probably made up of the melt of these rocks.", Vibra thought."

Consider this:

"Vibra wondered if these rocks were melting to form the liquid."

Just a couple of suggestions there. Overall, I think the story's going great so far. Well done! Keep on writing! Can't wait to see what happens next. Review of chapter 3 is on its way! :)

Eros replied · Jun 27, 2016

Heya, Sofie!! Thank you so very much for ths sweet review!! They are all just beautiful suggestions! I'll definitely add this here!! Thanks a loot, friend!!

Eros replied · Jun 27, 2016

Heya, Sofie!! Thank you so very much for ths sweet review!! They are all just beautiful suggestions! I'll definitely add this here!! Thanks a loot, friend!!

FlamingPhoenix wrote a review Review · Jun 26, 2016

Hi my name is Tsunami and I am here to give you a great long review. Oh and if I say anything that is rood in this review please tell me because I don’t mean to be rood at all.

Okay let’s get started with what I like about the chapter. :D

And again I like the name of the story I think so fare it soots what I have read so great choices of name. Oh and I like the chapter name by the way. :D I like the characters to so fare. And I like it you are still giving them different personalities. and I am going to say this again I know if all of your characters had the same personality's people will just think the story is lame and boring. So I think you are doing a great job with your story so fare. And I liked it that you intradoses the problem in the first chapter. :) :wink: :wink: So that is all good. Great story so far.

Okay I am now going to start the review.

Okay your description is getting better I have to admit but I still think you can do more. :D

Okay I think you can describe Mars in this chapter to. :wink:

Vibra continued the research. He would visit the spot every day in the morning, afternoon and in the evening. The translucent mass now grew blue in colour. He kept on observing one thing that the size of the mass was growing continuously.


Okay over here you have done quite well. :D But I am going to tell you something ells. Now you can all so do touch and smell and stuff like that. So I want to know is this mass of sum coined getting harder are soft and dose it smell? :wink:

After about a month, Vibra observed that the blue gaseous mass was not only increasing in size and spreading evenly, but also observed that it's thickness was increasing too. He again observed it in the quark microscope. He found that the mass was appearing thick due to the growth of layers above and below it, thus sand witching the blue layer. The colour of the mass was changing day by day. It was acquiring a colour of mixture of all the shades of blue.


The description on this paragraph is really good a got a good picture of what you were describing. :D

Vibra observed that the mass had grown quite big and to observe it completely he felt the need to use the spaceship. The whole thing appeared like a big blue gaseous ball. He was curious to know what was inside the ball. He crafted and designed a different spaceship. It didn't look like the original spaceship which resembled the submarine in shape and structure. The new spaceship looked like a big rotating disk with a big transparent helmet like control room which had all the jockeys to control the movement of this new spaceship. Its body was designed in such a way so that it could cut through the thick layers of the big mass. Vibra called this new spaceship as Drift Disk.

Vibra showed me the Drift Disk and told me his intense desire to go inside the big ball of mass.

Okay round about over here I want you to describe the Drift Disk. I am wondering what it looks like. And the mass I want you to add some smell to.

So that is all. :D I hope you will keep on righting great work. I am looking for word to reading more of your of your fantastic work, and your next chapter. Oh and good luck with that by the way. :wink: I hope you have a great day are night.

Oh and happy review day from your new friend Tsunami.



The poetry of the earth is never dead.
— John Keats