We the Fallen

Hey! I promise I am going to read all three parts of your story I just didn’t want to leave you feeling as if I was taking for ever with all of my reviews. So I am going to handle your second and third options first, I was never good with order anyway.

Well, I really like you title idea, and I see that a lot of people have already handled the grammar aspect of the piece so I’m not going to touch on that, just so you know.

The unusual thing about your piece is that I didn’t really like it until I read the third stanza, then I fell in love with it. If I were being brutally honest, which I like to think I always am when I review, I think you need to clarify the first two stanzas, add some true, raw, and emotional power to the start of this piece. Open with something that will make people stop and read the first line again because it amazed them that much.

These are just my suggestions, thanks for participating in my contest, and I am off to review your second piece!
~SnowBerry

How about:
"Then Remembrance Fades" as a title?

Great job! I loved it! My only suggestion is to fix a few puncuation errors, especially at the end of a stanza. But other then that, it flows smoothly and sounds amazing! Neat idea. As for a name, I have no idea. Although, when I first started reading it, "Forgotten" popped into my head. But there are alot of names you could choose. Good luck!

I thoguth it was awesome, to tell you the truth ^-^
Its simple and easy to follow. I loved the way it reminded me of the Bible, and then at the end it mentioned God. haha
I do, though, think that the final line had promise to be good, but it kind of fell short for me at the eend.
Other than that, it was epic. ^-^

Charade--<3

Okay so.. This was just remarkably gooooood! The ending was just so unexpected yet it made so much sense! I read this entire thing thinking it was just some mumbling poem about dying alone or something but then... Yep, that ending was extraordinary and amazing and I L O V E:d it! I agree on all the changes Sarah suggested, and you need those periods to make the poem complete as you've used punctation so throughly in the rest of this piece.

So.. well I think you're an amazing poet but please give this piece a name! It could be called "The Fallen Heroes" or something... but that would sorta ruin the surprising, fantastic ending.. or maybe it wouldn't.. I donno! Try giving it a name anyhows! 4/5 spiders to you!

Good Luck & Keep Writing

// Demoness

Your poem was very well written. Before writing this review, I actually paused to think about those who died fighting for our country. This proves that your poem has an impact on the reader, which isn't an easy effect to acheive. Good job!
Here are some gramatical nitpicks:

Who will remember us?
All we have done is forgotten,
And no one knows us(.)

We have fought, we have died,
But our memory fades with time,
And no one remembers(.)

We are waiting,
Lying silent in our graves(.)
Who will look upon us?
Who will ask our names?
This is the one thing we ask(.)
We gave everything,
Yet others can find nothing to give,
Not even a minute of their lives(.)
They do not wish to understand(.)

But we remember(,)
And we wait,
Hoping that strangers passing by,
Will pause and say, “Yes, I remember,
Those glorious days of old,
when men battled for God and country.”

But none will ask, none will remember,
And we'll remain silent as dust.
We, the fallen heroes.

Hi there!

I really enjoyed this. It was quite good and I think the grammer was perfect. This flowed very well and was a good read.

Who will remember us?
All we have done is forgotten,
And none no one knows us.