Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.
EXT. FARMHOUSE - DUSK
A perfect summer night, everything quiet and still. TESSA (21) and LANDON (24) sit together on a porch swing, away from everyone and everything except the chirping of crickets and the blowing of the wind.
Tessa buries her head in Landon’s shoulder. Beer bottles lay beside them. Landon’s is long empty, but Tessa still has a little bit left. She sits up, and takes a swig.
LANDON
I’m worried they’re not going to come home.
Tessa turns to him.
TESSA
You can’t say that. Maybe they lost their phones...
LANDON
It’s been three days, Tessa.
TESSA
What have the cops said?
LANDON
Nothing. Nobody’s seen anything. Nobody’s heard from them, nothing since they got in that car...
Tessa takes his hand.
TESSA
Your parents are going to be okay. I know it.
INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY
Tessa stands behind the counter of a convenience store, at work. No one is there. She steals a glance at her phone. There’s a news notification. “BODIES OF MISSING COUPLE FOUND.”
Shaking, she clicks. “The bodies of TARA and BRIAN TURNER were discovered by a hiker in Portage Park.... they were reported missing last week by their son, LANDON...”
Tessa takes a deep breath and puts down her phone. After a moment, she picks it up again, and goes to her text history with Landon. Nothing. Then, one appears. “I’m numb.”
Tessa writes back. “I’m off in an hour. I’ll come right over.”
She puts her phone down again and scans the store. Still, no one is there. Then, she realizes something.
TESSA
(to herself)
Portage Park?
She recalls a memory.
EXT. PORTAGE PARK - MORNING
Some days earlier. A perfect summer day. Tessa, carrying a bag and a coffee, walks towards a picnic bench in a secluded part of the park. She sits. She takes out a notebook and a coffee shop pastry, and starts to write a poem.
She gets a few lines in when she notices Landon coming the opposite direction, out of breath. He sees her, and stops.
TESSA
Landon? What are you doing here?
LANDON
I was just taking a walk.
TESSA
I thought you said you couldn’t hang out today because you weren’t feeling well.
LANDON
Yeah, I just wanted to get some air. Help me feel better. What are you doing here?
TESSA
It’s such a nice day, I thought I’d come work on poetry.
Tessa scoffs.
TESSA
You don’t look sick.
LANDON
Yeah, it’s a head cold.
He sits next to her on the bench.
LANDON
If you want to hang out, we can. I just need to go home and shower first.
TESSA
No. It’s fine. I just want to know why you lied to me.
LANDON
I started feeling better this morning, and I didn’t want you to think I was mad and making it up.
He tucks a stand of hair behind her ear and gives her a loving look.
LANDON
Okay?
TESSA
Okay.
He looks over at her notebook.
LANDON
What are you writing?
She moves the notebook away.
TESSA
It’s a work in progress.
The memory fades.
INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - SAME
Back at the convenience store, Tessa sits with the memory for a moment longer. Then, she laughs it off. At that moment, a CUSTOMER comes in, and Tessa puts on a professional face.
TESSA
Hi, welcome in.
EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY
An hour later. Tessa leaves at the store after getting off her shift. She doesn’t get far when she sees Landon waiting for her.
LANDON
Hi.
TESSA
Hi.
He doesn’t say before he kisses her deeply. After a moment, Tessa pulls away.
TESSA
Landon, I don’t know-
He kisses her again. Tessa pulls away a second time.
TESSA
I don’t even know what to say.
He looks around. It’s quiet, but still, he leads her down a residential street.
INT. LANDON’S CAR - DAY
They sit in the car, parked along the street.
TESSA
Why would anyone want to hurt your mom and dad? I just don’t understand that.
There’s a long silence.
LANDON
Can you stay over tonight?
TESSA
Of course.
LANDON
I don’t want to be alone.
Tessa eyes something on her side of the car. A dark smudge. She picks at it, and when she looks at her finger, it’s red. Blood. Landon’s watching her.
TESSA
What happened?
LANDON
I cut myself with my pocket knife. Stupid accident.
TESSA
Ouch. You have to be careful.
Landon gives her a tight look and starts the car. As he does, Tessa looks at her finger again, and out the window.
INT. LANDON’S HOUSE - LANDON’S BEDROOM - MORNING
Tessa and Landon lie in bed. She’s awoken by the doorbell ringing. Tessa sits up and looks over at Landon, still fast asleep. The doorbell rings again. Landon opens his eyes.
TESSA
I’ll go see who it is.
INT. LANDON’S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - MORNING
We understand that this is his parents’ house, from the decor to the photos of Landon on the wall.
As Tessa walks to the door, she remembers again.
INT. LANDON’S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - FLASHBACK
Some time earlier. Landon’s parents, TARA and BRIAN, 40s, warm and friendly, wait as Landon leads Tessa in. Everything’s nervous and awkward, but there’s a warmth to the scene.
LANDON
This is Tessa. Tessa, these are my parents.
TESSA
Nice too meet you.
TARA
Tessa, I hope you like Italian food.
TESSA
Yes, m’am, it’s my favorite.
TARA
Good, because that’s on the menu tonight.
INT. LANDON'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - SAME
Back to present. Everything is dark and cold. Tessa opens the door to find two DETECTIVES.
FIRST DETECTIVE
Hi, is Landon Turner home?
TESSA
Yeah, he’s down the hall. I can go get him-
FIRST DETECTIVE
In a minute. You’re the girlfriend, I assume?
TESSA
Yeah. I’m Tessa Langley.
SECOND DETECTIVE
May we come in?
TESSA
Of course.
Tessa leads them inside and they all sit.
SECOND DETECTIVE
As you know, Mr. and Mrs. Turner were discovered yesterday, and we want to ask you and Landon some questions, okay?
TESSA
Okay.
At that moment, Landon appears in the hall.
FIRST DETECTIVE
Landon, have a seat.
He does.
FIRST DETECTIVE
First things first, we have a warrant to search your house, okay? Second thing, we’d appreciate it if you both came with us down the station for questioning.
LANDON
About what? Am I being charged with something?
FIRST DETECTIVE
No. We just want you both to come down to the station.
Close on Tessa. She’s distant. The memories of running into Landon at the park and the blood flash through her mind.
FIRST DETECTIVE
Can you do that for us?
Tessa takes a deep breath.
FADE OUT.
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Hi! I'm going to review this script using the YWS S'more Method today!
I've gotta say, that was a really suspenseful story, I really enjoyed reading it! This is the first script I've ever seen in the Green Room I think, so it's my first time reviewing a script!
Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
Landon's parents suddenly go missing. Tessa, his girlfriend, is worried. Then, she finds out that Landon's parents have been found dead. She starts getting flashbacks of the past, and they make her realize that her boyfriend is actually the one who killed her parents.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
One tiny thing - in the flashback scene where Tessa goes over to Landon's house, you said "some time earlier." How much time earlier? I'm sorry to be picky about this, it's probably just a writing style choice, I'm just curious when it took place. Just a suggestion, though!
Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
I really liked all the little details, and how you created the mood in each scene. I also liked the subtle blood stain that was a clue as to who killed his parents. We don't know exactly what Tessa is thinking, but the reader can imply based on the details you wrote of the tiny things she did. And the piece was an interesting read in general, as it made us want to know more about the story, and it kept us at the edge of our seats.
Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
Overall, this was a really well-written enjoyable read, and you did an especially good job at conveying the mood. Scripts are an interesting choice of writing, as they are harder to write, since it is not its direct perspective of the character, and there's usually a lot of subtext going on. But you wrote it beautifully, and this is a very strong piece. I hope to read more of your writing in the future!
Happy Writing!
Hey there! Plume here, with a review!
This was an absolute delight to read, as are all of your scripts. I loved the slow reveal and the twists throughout; I think a script is the perfect vessel to deliver something suspenseful, and you've really nailed it with this one.
One thing I really liked was your use of flashbacks. I think you really gain a lot of well crafted suspense from the contrast between the different vibes of the flashbacks and the tense-yet-passive vibe of the main timeline. Each small moment between the flashbacks gives the readers/watchers time to process, which in a suspenseful piece like this, works really well. I also loved your dialogue exchanges, too; very naturalistic and a compelling contrast to the actual subject matter.
I get that it is a short script, but I feel like I could have used some more characterization for Tessa and Landon, and in particular, their relationship. Something about it felt a little cold and stilted, given that we've only seen them at a point of high anxiety and conflict. Because of this, I feel like Tessa's turmoil when thinking about whether Landon actually killed his parents feels like she's either just really bad at putting two things together, or is just crazy for not turning him in right away. I just don't get the vibe that their bond is strong enough for it to be enough for her to actually try and defend him, or at least feel conflicted about her situation. A part of that could also come down to acting, but I feel like I need more from Landon, specifically. I think Tessa's shown in some parts being very caring towards him, but in all honesty, I feel like I'm a bit turned off from Tessa's character due to her sympathy towards Landon.
I also have conflicting feelings about the ending, in the sense that I think it's a brilliant choice from a writer's perspective but as a reader I'm left unsatisfied. It doesn't really feel like an ending to me, but something tells me that's intentional. The fact that it ends on a question is both infuriating to me as a reader of the script, but as a writer, I think it's a great ploy to get the reader to speculate what Tessa will say/do. Additionally, the choice to do a fade out is interesting as well; it lets her linger longer than a simple cut to black would, and definitely speaks volumes about her inner conflict as opposed to a snap decision like an abrupt ending would suggest.
Overall: great work. For such a short piece, you managed to tell a complete story very well, while also making conscious choices throughout to build that suspense, which especially stood true at the end. Really hope to read more of your work soon! Until next time!
Thank you! <3 I'm glad it stuck with you. I agree we need to see more of the foundation of their relationship. Maybe expanding on the flashback scene where she meets his parents or even seeing when they met? The the vague ending is also intentional but right now I feel like I have some wiggle room. Thank you!
Yeah, I think the parents scene definitely felt a bit short to me and I think it'd be a great place to expand/solidify their relationship!
This is my first time reading a script and I have to say, I like it. Why would Landon do such a thing as kill his parents? There must have been tension within. Maybe it’s something else entirely. I’ll have to find out…
There’s only one thing that I would say to change. When Tessa is meeting Landon’s parents, change the spelling of “too” to “to”, as it fits the context of the sentence more.
Other than that, it’s really good! If this is going to be continued, then I look forward to the second part!
I wish you a lovely day/night.
Thanks for the review! It's a self-contained short script (no other parts). No answers on why Landon does this (that's for you to think about) but it's supposed to bring you into Tessa's mind as she realizes he's guilty. Glad you enjoyed!