“Are you sure they don't look dead?” Arthur Pendragon stared at the small vase of wildflowers on his bedside table, biting his lower lip in uncertainty. “They seem a little... floppy.”
“Nonsense.” Merlin replied. “Who ever heard of flowers that were perfectly straight? It's natural for them to be a little floppy. Gwen'll love them.” In all honesty, the prince's servant did think the flowers looked slightly droopy. Alright, they looked completely dead and rotten, but Merlin didn't have the heart to say so. Arthur had put so much effort into picking them; he'd gone into the forest and searched especially, even gotten dirt in his royal finger nails. The fact that he'd done something by himself would be sure to impress Gwen, regardless of quality of the flowers.
“If you say so.” Arthur trusted Merlin one hundred percent, even if he would never admit it. He carefully picked up the vase and stroked the soggy petals, seeing the floral arrangement in a new light after Merlin's reassurance. “I suppose the colours do go well together...” He quickly dropped the vase back on the surface. “Not that I pay attention to those sorts of things.”
“Oh, of course not.” Merlin appeared beside the prince and held up a freshly washed, red shirt. “But before you go give them to a special someone,” the young warlock grinned teasingly, “you should probably put a shirt on.”
Arthur straightened his posture, blushing slightly. He glanced at the shirt, then his bare chest, as if he hadn't even noticed he undressed. “I was just about to.” He snatched the garment and began wrestling his way into it, banging into the bed post a couple of times. It wasn't that he didn't know how to put a shirt on, he was just tired. At least, that's what Arthur told himself.
“Want some help, your highness?” Merlin raised an eyebrow, his mouth contorting into a smirk; the last time Arthur had tried to dress himself he'd forgotten his belt. After another moment of struggling, Arthur sighed and relaxed his body, the result being a human/fabric mutation.
“Fine. That is your job, Merlin, might as well do it instead of lazing around all day.”
~
Gwen had never imagined that she, a servant, would find herself hopelessly in love with the future king of Camelot. Even more unbelievable was that he thought anything of her. But he did, and if Gwen had been the sort of person prone to fantasies, she would have pinched herself to check that she was awake. She was a very sensible, productive person though, and accepted the situation completely, not questioning Arthur's feelings once.
She'd already seen to all her tasks for the day, so her leaving would not be a problem. She'd combed her hair three times over, and procured some lavender so she'd smell pleasant. She was dressed in a long, purple dress she's sewn herself, and had lunch prepared in a picnic basket. Everything seemed ready to go. Within the next hour Gwen expected a knock on her door, and for either Arthur or Merlin to greet her when she opened it. All was aranged on her beau's side, no one would expect anything, everything would go perfectly. But when she did jump energetically to open the door once a firm knock was heard, all Gwen's plans went to ruin. She didn't let it dishearten her though, there would be other chances, and the situation before her deserved her undivided attention.
“Oh, Gwen... Gwen... there's strangers in our home and they won't leave...” The short, brown- haired girl, a neighbour, shuffled anxiously back and forth on the doorstep. She swung her head around to look behind her, as if she expected someone to be there. “They're everywhere, Gwen, oh, what do we do?” This particular friend often came over to ask for help with various problems, and any other day Gwen would have sat her down with a warm drink, talking her out of the fit. But this time she had every right to be afraid; there were people all over the street, looking misplaced and confused, with both shocked and violent gleams in their eyes.
“Come inside, Milly, while I find out what's going on.” Friend shut safely inside the cottage, Gwen stepped onto the dusty ground and examined the chaos around her. There was shouting, crying, whispering, and nothing these people were saying made any sense. They huddled in groups, some holding defensively onto children, some waving their hands at familiar faces. But it was probably their clothing which had caused the most panic.
It wasn't from this world, that was for sure. Not even in the darkest corners of Camelot was so much skin exposed. And there were women in pants, as if it was perfectly normal. And some people's hair stood on end. Being a seamstress, Gwen was especially taken aback by the stitching of their clothing, or rather, she couldn't see any stitching at all. It was so small, so delicate, even with a hundred years of practice she wouldn't be able to create those garments.
So where had these people come from? What were they doing huddled in little, disoriented groups, throughout the streets of Camelot? Were they an invading army, putting on an act to cause such chaos? Their large numbers certainly hinted so, but surely women and children wouldn't be put in the line of fire. Were they nomads? She had seen some strange clothing on travellers... but nothing like this.
These questions had obviously flooded the minds of the citizens, going by the state of things. They were just as disoriented as the outsiders. Some were running around in fear, much like Gwen's neighbour had and some simply ran inside and locked their doors. Some held weapons at the people's throats, which was retaliated by some who tapped their fingers frantically on small pieces of metal. There was no logical answer for the sudden appearance of all these foreigners or their strange actions, nothing that made sense. Nothing except the one thing which Gwen was sure everyone feared... magic.
~
“Arthur!” Uther Pendragon stood up from his throne as his son entered the room, closely followed by Merlin. As they approached the throne, the rows of noblemen bowed in respect, though their eyes were fixed on someone else.
“How can I be of service, father?” The man crouching in the middle of the room hadn't yet caught the prince's attention, or perhaps he was ignoring him until the king raised the subject. But Merlin noticed, he especially took notice of the man's odd clothing and the item he held in his hand. Gaius was within whispering distance, but when the young warlock met his mentor's concerned eyes, there wasn't any need to explain. Magic was involved in this, and the man was defintely not from around here.
“It would seem that Camelot is under attack.” The king addressed his son. “Though no force has been used. I believe that given time, these people will use other means to endanger us.” As his gloved hand flicked toward the crouching man, so did Arthur's eyes.
“Who is this man?” His arms were folded, a confused look on his face. “He certainly isn't from the kingdom, or surrounds.”
“Exactly. They all dress in a similar fashion, and carry around metal shapes which we are yet to discover a use for. They also carry identical paintings of various figures, their leaders, I believe, though I do not recognise the faces.” The king sat back down, stroking his chin. “These people are not like us, and I think we are all in agreement that they are sorcerors.” He eyed each man in the room, who nodded in return. Gaius was the only one who didn't answer his king. You could practically hear crickets chirping while everyone waited for the physician to reply.
“Gaius?” Uther rolled his eyes, much like his son did when Merlin disagreed. “What's on your mind? Do you not agree with us?”
The old physician stepped forward. He decided to choose his words very carefully, as he knew he was trusted by the king and could greatly influence his actions, should he be convincing enough. “Sire, it is without doubt that sorcery is involved in this. Such a mass of people could not have appeared out of nowhere,” he quoted a witness, “without the use of sorcery. However, I am not certain that these people themselves are sorcerors. I have examined many of them, and found them to be in a genuine state of shock and despair. These are not sorerors, acting to gain our pity and trust. They are genuinely afraid. I believe that these people may be the victims of sorcery.”
Merlin met Gaius' eyes again, not quite believing what had been said. He and Arthur had been in the prince's chamber, preparing for an outing with Gwen. They had gone directly to the hall after being notified of the king's summons, and this was the first Merlin had heard of a 'great mass'. He wondered exactly how many of these strangers were within the city walls, and the thought sent a chill down his spine.
“I appreciate your words, Gaius,” Uther said in reply, scratching his chin. He stood up again, towering over the frightened man. “However, we cannot take any risk. Guards, escort this man to the dungeons. Arthur, I want you to take your men into the town and round up the others, keep them in one area, well guarded.”
While his father had been giving orders, the prince's eyes were lingering on the crouching stranger. He couldn't help but believe Gaius's words. This man did look scared, terrified, even, and it didn't feel fair to lock him up. There was nothing Arthur could do about that though, and he decided to try and find out more about these people, to help them if he could. He was eager to get Merlin's opinion on the matter, the servant always had something clever to say.
“Yes, father.” Arthur bowed and promptly left the hall, Merlin following closely behind.
~
Gwen had been sitting on the dusty ground for about ten minutes now, holding a crying girl in her arms. The child wasn't a stranger, yet Gwen couldn't bring herself to be angry or scared or even a little bit cautious; a child is a child.
“I don't know how to get home,” she whimpered, eyes now dried up. She fingered a mobile phone in her hands, tapping on the blank screen. The little girl knew that no one's phones worked anymore, even if their batteries had recently been charged; nothing electronic worked. Watches, hearing aids, e-readers... they were all dead.
“Why don't you tell me about that.” Gwen eyed the device curiously, she'd never seen such a small piece of metal that was so smooth. “Maybe it will take your mind off missing home. You called it a... a phone, right?”
“That's right, but I can't do anything with it now.” She explained what it would have been used for had it worked. “It's weird that you've never used one before.” If she wasn't in a state of greif, the girl might have laughed at Gwen's lack of technical know-how.
Around Gwen, the situation had calmed down a little. The strangers were just as disorientated, but by now the villagers had chosen their sides. Some had lead the people into their homes, comforting them with warm drinks and kind hospitality. Other strangers had fallen victim, being guarded by villagers with spears and fire pokers. The occassional fight had broken out earlier on, and as a result there were a few people lying unconscious on the ground. Gwen's neighbour had since broken out of her panic spell and was now tending to an injured man, who Gwen predicted she would probably end up marrying.
Out of the corner of her eye, Gwen saw a crowd parting down the middle, and Arthur and Merlin strolled down the space. The two of them were wide-eyed and their eyes flicked everywhere at once, trying to take it all in. She waved them over, holding tightly to the girl who shook as they came closer. “Don't worry,” Gwen whispered, “they're my friends.”
“Guinevere,” Arthur said once he was standing beside her, “I'm sorry about our outing...” He blushed a little, it was always difficult to talk about their relationship out in the open. Anyone could hear and start gossiping, then the news could reach Uther's ears and... well, she'd already been called a witch.
“It's fine.” She had actually forgotten about it in all the commotion. “I think we've got other things to worry about?” She looked down at the girl in her lap, who cautiously watched the two men from a gap between Gwen's arms.
“Yes, of course.” Arthur knelt down so he was at the girl's height. He addressed Gwen. “Can she help us figure this all out?” Gwen shrugged, and he took that as a yes. “What's your name?” He asked as gently as possible.
Merlin stood behind Arthur, making sure no one disturbed them. Some of the knights had followed behind, and they now carried out Uther's orders, rounding up the strangers. They seemed to be trying to herd them into the palace courtyard. Surrounded by four walls and few exits, that was a strategic place if Uther was planning genocide. And Merlin wouldn't put that past the king, so they needed to figure this whole mess out fast.
Merlin blushed. “Sorry!” He awkwardly smiled at the young woman he'd been caught staring at, though really he was just staring into oblivion, thinking. He turned his attention back to the little girl Gwen was comforting. She had beautifully smooth brown hair and tanned skin. She wore linen pants, similar enough to something you could find in Camelot, but her shirt was odd. It seemed to be held together in the middle by a long strip of metal, something he couldn't explain. It was the thing in her hands that made Merlin raise his eyebrow, though, and he kneeled beside Arthur to join their conversation.
“My name's Christy,” the girl whispered. Her eyes flickered back and forth between Arthur and Merlin.
“This is Merlin,” Gwen introduced him and the Christy relaxed slightly. “He's Arthur's... friend.”
The young warlock raised an eyebrow. Why had she stopped herself from saying 'servant'? Did Gwen really think that this girl would be uncomfortable with the word, that she came from a place where there were no servants?
“Where do you come from, Christy?” Arthur asked, lifting the side of his mouth in a smile.
“Well, I live in the middle of London, but...” She looked down at her phone and flipped it in her hands a few times.
“What kingdom is London in?” Arthur continued.
The girl slowly shook her head. “England?” She raised her chin to look up at Gwen. “I've time travelled, like in the movies, haven't I?”
Merlin watched as Arthur and Gwen raised their eyebrows at the girl, confused as to what she'd just said, but he remembered the look in Gaius's eyes. It was the same look he used when crazy, out-of-this-world things happened, like when someone came back from the dead... or perhaps when someone who had not yet been born came back to the past. He looked at the people around him, felt their fear of the unknown. The scent of cooked meat hung in the air, the villagers preparing for lunch, but some of these people were pulling colourful packages out of their pockets and eating the contents. They tapped aimlessly on the devices, one which the girl was holding.
“What is that?” Merlin piped up after remaining silent the whole time.
“My phone.” Christy answered simply, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Gwen explained further. “She says she can talk to people on it, it must be, well,” she whispered, “magic. That's the only thing it could be.”
“Perhaps.” Arthur stood up. “But I can't believe that she's here to harm us,” he waved a hand around at the people who were being herded towards the courtyard, “that any of them are here to harm us, magic or not.”
“I agree.” Merlin folded his arms. “Gaius is right, these people are the victims.”
“What's going to happen to them?” Gwen looked at Arthur, he could see the worry in her eyes. He too was frightened for this girl, and all the other children and adults. The 'phone', and that man's odd clothing, had gotten him sent to the dungeon. If Uther saw that all these people were the same, and possessed the same metal boxes, they could be in grave danger.
“Will you get me home?” The girl looked at him with desperate, begging eyes.
Arthur motioned for the two females to stand. “I'll figure out something. For now, Christy, you should stay with Gwen.” He turned to Merlin. “Come with me, we'll talk to some other people.”
Gwen held out her arm, gently touching Merlin's. “Actually... could I just talk to you for a minute?”
“Yeah...” Merlin looked at Arthur for permission. Not permission to talk to his girlfriend, there was no compeition unless he wanted to lose his head. Just permission to lag behind a bit. Arthur nodded and took it upon himself to lead Christy into Gwen's dwelling.
Gwen flicked her head around, dark hair swaying in the breeze. Her eyes settled on a little stable a couple of metres away. It both looked and sounded empty, just what they needed. Gwen didn't want to risk anyone hearing what she was about to say, not even Arthur. “Let's talk in there.”
“What is it?” Merlin asked as he sat down on a haystack, narrowly avoiding a pile of dung. The stable had been used recently, a horse-like smell hanging in the air, but at the moment it was a pleasant escape from the chaos outside. “Is something wrong? Apart from everything else that's happening.”
She leaned against the far wall and folded her arms. “Morgana left last night. I was walking down the hall, to help her prepare for bed, and I heard her talking to someone. When I knocked on the door, she said she was going out and I wasn't to tell anyone.” Merlin knew what Gwen was saying, though he didn't want to believe it. “Her tone... she was angry that I'd heard... just like before.”
“You think she has something to do with this?”
“She wasn't there this morning, and the Morgana I know would already be down here, finding out what's happening?”
Merlin leant forward. “You think she already knows what's happening?”
Gwen shook her head. “I don't know. I just thought I should tell you.”
Merlin nodded slowly, and at the same time a stormy gust of wind entered the stable, its unnatural power knocking the pair to the ground. Merlin groaned, he'd landed right in the dung, it stuck to his skin like wax. He grabbed a bundle of hay, and began wiping the smelly spot on his arm, when another gust threw him against the wall, next to Gwen.
“What is that?” Gwen was holding her knees to chest, frozen in place, Merlin noticed, and staring at a misty cloud forming in the middle of the stable. The cloud made a whirring sound, sort of like a flour mill. It got louder and louder, and the cloud got bigger and bigger until all they could see was a veil of white.
“Stay still...” Merlin raised his hand, readying himself to fight some evil entity. He didn't care if Gwen discovered his secret, it was better than dying. Their hair lashed at their faces, flying all over the place. He saw Gwen's lips move, but couldn't hear her over the whirirng. He was about to cast a spell to make the cloud go away, but then it disappeared by itself. In its place was a blue box.
It was slightly larger than a cupboard, wooden, painted a dark blue with a flashing light on top. There was writing on the box as well, but Merlin didn't understand what it meant. Gwen thrust her hand into Merlin's, she was shaking and he didn't blame her. What was this thing?
Then the blue box opened. And a tall, giraffe like man in a bow tie stepped out. “Hello.” He beamed at them when he spotted them crouching in the far corner. “I'm the Doctor, and this must be Camelot.”
End of chapter
Continue to next chapter Fanfiction- chapter 3Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hello, steampowered here with a review! Now, I would love to say I’ve read the first chapter, but I’m not actually sure where I can find it so… I’ll just review this as a standalone chapter and try and leave you with some decent feedback.
First of all, can I just say that this is awesome? You’ve captured Merlin and Arthur’s characters absolutely perfectly – that whole bit at the start about the wildflowers really made me laugh and I could picture that bit perfectly, exactly as if it was a canon episode I had seen (or perhaps more likely, a Comic Relief special…)
The speech tags aren’t quite right – when you have a tag like “Merlin replied” or “Arthur said” you shouldn’t end the dialogue that precedes it with a period. Continue it with a comma like this:
Moving on:
I laughed so hard at this! It’s very… Arthur-y.
Nitpick here; greif should be “grief”.
Yes! Yes! YESS!!! My two favourite fandoms have merged – this is truly a happy day! *dances*
So… other than the few things I picked up on, the only advice I would give is to maybe change the title of your work so it’s more obvious to a browsing reader what the fanfiction is about. This whole thing is superbly written, the dialogue’s very realistic, and if you ever decide to upload any more please do let me know and I will read it.
In the meantime, keep writing!
-steampowered-
*Squees* This is so awesome!
*calms down sufficiently to give coherent feedback.*
Seriously, though I don't know why this hasn't gotten more attention, because it's excellent. I know you've really wanted some feedback on it, and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get around to reviewing it. But anyway, on to the actual review.
Overall, your grasp of character - of all the characters - is excellent and that makes me happy. I also liked your handling of the Merlin characters' reactions to all the technology.
Something I hope we can establish fairly soon is where exactly we are in the chronology of all three shows. We've already pretty much figured out where the Doctor is, and for Sherlock I'm guessing between episodes 1 and 2 of season 3? Because Mary's already there but I don't think they're married yet, right? But for Merlin, I'm really not sure, except for somewhere in season 2 at the earliest, and I think that's important when it comes to Morgana because it would be good to know exactly how "evil" she is yet.
Anyway, actual critique. The main gripe I have about this is that there are a few places where I'm not sure whose POV you're in because you don't make the transition clear enough.
For example, when you cut to Uther in the court, I can't tell if it's supposed to be in Uther's head, Arthur's, or Gaius'. Halfway through, I'm pretty sure it's Gaius', but especially in a story with this many viewpoints we need to be certain right off the bat.
Then, in the scene following that, you start off in Gwen's viewpoint, (because it tells us some of her thoughts) but right after Arthur and Merlin get there you switch to Merlin's viewpoint, which is generally not a good thing to do mid-scene. In fact, I think you might just want to stay in Gwen's viewpoint and dispense with Merlin's altogether - Gwen has more important emotional beats in that scene. So watch out for that.
Also, I don't think the TARDIS' wind (gosh that sounds wrong) would be anywhere near strong enough to knock the two of them over. All it usually does is ruffle people's hair. And why is there a cloud around it? I don't think there is in the show, but hey, maybe something weird is going on.
Here, you are in Gwen's head - there's no way she would think something like this because even though she's had some things explained to here, she's just not familiar with everything to think like that.
It actually makes me wonder if you're trying to go for an omniscient narrator here. If you are, then the main advice I would give you is to try not to put the main characters thoughts in direct text because you technically aren't in their head, you're in the narrator's head, so any character thoughts should be flagged as such. (I hope some of this is making sense.)
Other than that, really the only complaint I have is that Merlin feels a bit off in the scenes he's in, particularly when he's talking to Arthur. He just doesn't feel awkward enough in his speech and his movement. Merlin goes around with this really awkward, Merlin-ish air and I'm not really feeling that here. At the beginning, it was, but then in the other scenes it wasn't.
One final thing - you mention the modern person during the scene with Uther as "crouching" a lot. It's kind of a strange image to think about - it doesn't seem like someone from modern London would act like that.
Anyway, I loved this, and I really hope you decide to continue it despite the overall lack of feedback, because there aren't enough good Whomerlock fics out there. If I haven't asked already, tag me for the next one, please? :3
Thanks for the feedback! On the POVs, I'm trying to include every character's feelings wherever possible... I can see how that could get confusing. XD So I'll work on that. And I shall do my best to remember to tag you.